And that's really all that's being requested here yet, for reasons which IMO don't need saying, MANY people find even that too onerous a burden.
In my mind, it's the equivalent of refusing to stop calling someone the N-word or continuing to refer to people as retarded, and suggesting that people who request you do so are simply being too sensitive and ridiculous. They're not. They're on the receiving end of this and are being targeted by these words and subtle rejections every single day they exist... often for months, years, and decades at a time.
It's not your place to tell others that these words aren't hurtful to them when misused, and it's not your place to continue hurting them through continued use or out of laziness or sheer refusal to move beyond historical tradition. Language evolves.
Misuse of these words has fallen out of favor and their adjusted use now represents acceptable parlance in society for good reason. In much the same way you don't refer to a woman as sugar-tits, you no longer refer to a trans person who identifies as HE by calling them SHE... and thankfully those individuals who continue refusing to take the simple step of respecting pronouns of the trans community are ALSO falling out of favor culturally.
You can either get onboard or get out of the way... you can either be a partner in improving society or attempt to stand in its way as an obstacle... but society will continue changing whether one likes it or not.
Again here, the arrogance and lack of empathy is astonishing. Nobody is saying you can't or won't slip up... That's fine and WILL happen, but yet again here you dismiss acceptable, polite, and entirely valid requests to stop calling someone SALLY when they identify as JAMES with disparaging language like "whining" and suggesting it's no "big deal."
Well, sure... Maybe it's no big deal for YOU, a cis-gendered male who's never had to battle daily slights and discrimination just for being who you are... but you're not the only person living in this world, nor are you the sole arbiter of what is considered important to millions of humans.
This is about acceptance and authenticity. People are being shunned simply for being true to themselves. They are being targeted and ostracized, being brutalized and facing violence at unacceptable rates, and fighting daily battles against a culture who still too often treats them as subhuman. Maybe adjusting our own views and being just a bit more sensitive ourselves to their very real plight will help extinguish these disturbing trends.