Just to share my personal experience. I never was a 'womanizer', and not great at courting. For me, women were from Venus, and I from Ceres (definitely not from Mars...). I suffered from not having a romantic and erotic relationship with a woman. But halfway my student days, I got my first 'half-relationships', but suffered again when they broke up. Then I met the woman who is still my wife. From the moment that I got my feeling (and her's) that 'this is it', I suddenly got more involved with other women, even had a few extra-marital affairs (and was open about it to my wife, and she could accept it). Now we are already married for 30 years.
My interpretation: since my fixed relationship, I could be much more relaxed in relations to others in general, and specifically to women. The pressure and the need were gone. But I see all this pressure (and aggressiveness) and need in what you write here. And that does not make you attractive at all. In those days, it was my fault, and so it is yours. My advice (which you already got from many here): let go the feeling of need, do not put pressure on others in your relationships. Do not whine, do not be aggressive, and do not be picky. And if you notice you can't, yes, search for help, e.g. psychotherapy. And let go the idea that you must be bodily attractive to attract women. Being pleasant company to others, men and women alike, is the most important.
Having implicit demands does not work, people (e.g women ;-) ) feel it, and it shies them away.