Possibly a lot of the misconceptions can be attributed to mixing up models.
GR and QFT treat space-time differently.
In QFT, space-time is the stage on which various fields act.
In GR, space-time is an active participant, and no background stage is required for the acting.
I find it funny when one uses the quantum mechanical considerations of a crystal, to make predictions about the properties of the aether that ( they believe ) permeates space in GR.
And I'm with Studiot ( as always ) on this.
You can't define space by the matter within it, and then say "there is empty space between matter". How, then, is that 'empty' space between matter defined ?
We would do well to stop trying to force reality to be the same as our models ( GR and QFT ). All our models do, is describe small parts and qualities of reality, and only within their range of applicability.