You need to focus on Mathematics. Place yourself (as awkward or weird one might be) in front of and in as many situations with the intended gender as possible. There are others like you out there...Even attractive ones of the same mindset. That could fall for you in the right situation...at the right time, and place. But she's not at home or hiding under your bed...So get out there. I met my wife at an art show and just happened to almost knock over one of her paintings. Starting a mumbling conversation...many years later here we are. Two opposites who collided around an art show...And let me tell you, I despise all form of art.
Unless you have some kind of mental illness...Most people have the same insecurities...Or similar ones as you. Prey on your own weaknesses in others... control and push your weaknesses..