This is speaking to the idea that you are a masochist because of what you were exposed to as a child. (I would qoute you, A Childs Mind, but I just joined this to respond, and I'm a ludite so I won't try to figure it out...)
This makes total sence, and I bet that it is true for a lot of people, but I just realized that I am a masochist the other day, and it's not seeming true for me...
I have been sexually excited by the thought of pain ever since I can remember, (since I was very young) and am still young(?) and haven't had sex (or even kissed anyone...) so it's very clear that it is my inherant fetish (?), but there is nothing in my childhood that points to the possibility of this being because of anything... I was never abused or anything and had a really really ideal childhood with not even the trace of violence. (Except for in stories that I liked)
So I really don't know where it's coming from... I'm comfortable (too comfortable) with the idea of being a masochist, but not everything else around it... and the fact that I can't tell where it comes from...
(I'll continue to write even though I'm sure there's nothing more directly relevant to the thread... So don't feel obliged to read on.)
I'm a perfectly avarage person other wise, and am kinda scared by the fact that being raised like I was could possibly produce a person like me...
I think BDSM is totally fine and everything...(Actually, it's good that I could find stuff on it because otherwise I probably would have continued to live with the thought that I am just sick, and that's all there is to it, in the back of my head... but now I am aware that it's a sexual orientation, or some people consider it to be.) It just scares me a little to think that at this point, with out having ever been in a relationship (I'm not very "grown-up" in these areas...) that I might not have a chance at an avarage relationship... Just a BDSM one...
And I kinda see a split life problem coming up too... All of the people that I care about are perfectly avarage people who I sort-of, in a way, wouldn't want to have to have anything to do with me if I get into BDSM (and that's sorta seeming like the only option...)
And BDSM seems to contradict almost every other aspect of my life too... I go to poetry slams for god's sake! And listen to people perform beautiful poetry about love(...mind you there was that piece that that person did about loving period sex... but what ever.)...not that BDSM can't be beautiful, I suppose, but the conitation of it...
Any way. Since it seems like BDSM folk are here, it'd be much appreciated if you could tell me of your experience in BDSM and it's relation to other aspects of your life or getting into BDSM or realizing that your a masochist(sadist) or what ever...
Yes, yes I know this has nothing to do with the thread...