Hello, I came to this forum to ask about a personal dilemma I have come across.
I am almost an identical version of my cousin. I am female and he is male. Our parent's were very dysfunctional. Most of our relatives (Dads, Aunts, and Uncles) are alcoholics, drug addicts, and among many other things. We were always the best of friends and had a connection. We are pretty much the only two out of our generation that have turned out to be generally respectable people. He has 3 other siblings by his parents. His parents are DAD and MOM, DAD is brother to my DAD and his MOM is married in.
He does not look like any of his siblings. He is taller, more thin, he look absolutely NOTHING like his siblings. On the other hand, we were talking about some things from our past, and it was brought to my attention that my father may have "been with" his mother, at some point during a long period of dysfunction. Albeit, it is a rumor at this point, but it seems to make sense. We went through some of our photos, and last night I made a few side by side photos. I could pass for fraternal twins with my cousin, while he does not look like any of his siblings. One thing that also sticks out for both of us, is also how similar our daughters look. My daughter and his daughter who are roughly the same age, could also pass for twins. The only exception in them not being almost identical is that his daughters hair is curly and has freckles, while mine has more pale skin and straight hair.
We had history of family abuse and general dysfunction. I will not go into the details, but I recently heard a rumor that spurred my interest in finding out more information about how traits are passed along in families.
After a very long conversation with my cousin, he let me in on a rumor that my father may have at some point been with his mother during a period of dysfunction.
After seeing the photos and looking closer (I also examined other cousins and their siblings photos) I am almost convinced he is my brother and not my cousin. I am a little freaked out by it, and I am not sure what to do next. We have agreed to look into getting a sibling test done. It is so embarrassing to try to ask my dad if he may have done something with my aunt (this would be his brothers wife)
After looking and examining all of the photos of relatives and cousins, I did not see anyone with such a striking similarity as myself and my cousin, and even our daughters.
Is this reason enough to pay the money for genetic testing?
Is is possible that he looks more like my father because of inherited genes from our grandfather and ancestors? Is that why maybe we look alike?
I opted for a mail order DNA Test for siblings, and I am wondering if it is worth it to do?
Why or how could we be so similar in our traits with different fathers (brothers)?
