Unfortunately this is where we are exceeding my physics and math skills and I don't have any answer to your questions :-/
I was trying to figure out an alternative way to simulate the gravity effects without calculating the traditional force/acceleration vectors for the simulation animation frames. In my model you obviously still need to calculate some parameter (based on distance and mass from all objects) how much the paper/grid expansion slows down at any given point of the paper/grid. To get this right, the values would need to be adjusted so that they match observations of the real world (as in any model, really). This should result in a similarly shaped curve as traditional gravity's strength at any given point in space (but with the value being a scalar instead of a direction/force vector). I guess this means you could say that my model is using traditional gravity as a starting point, but tries to reach it's actual effects by different means.
Hmm. That being said, I think my original post might then have been somewhat misleading: If the slowdown of the paper/grid expansion depends on the mass and distance of the objects, it sounds like it's most probably going to be based on the traditional gravity formula. But then again, as mentioned above, the forces wouldn't be used as directional vectors, but as a scalar value which hits brakes to the expansion of the paper. I think this is the exact point of my model which needs a closer look to see if it breaks down into non working model or if it has potential to work in a simulation.
The idea intends to take motion and orbits into account. If I can simulate this model properly in my head, I think the orbit should happen something like this:
Earth sits stationary on the paper. Meteor is passing by the Earth. As the grid around Earth expands slower around the Earth, the passing meteor gets pulled towards it. The accelerating expansion of the paper curves the path of the meteor even more and thus it starts going around the Earth.
Note that this is where my powers of imagining the simulation in my head start to have their limits and the whole thing should be made into a proper computer simulation to verify if it actually works in practise or not. I'm now entering the "guessing zone".