DanGonzal

Well said; Objective observation and action taken based on that alone would be helpful most of the times.

@ TheVat : While I do not agree with your above post, I would not comment anymore on this here, since it would be off-topic.

Why do you say so? It is said that Indian Muslims are certainly better off than Muslims in several Muslim countries due to India’s liberal Constitution. To pay a tribute to Modi's second term ruling, a group of Muslim women dedicated a congratulatory song for PM Modi for bringing the triple talak bill. Out of 13 highest civilian honours to PM Modi so far, 6 are from Muslim dominated countries.

Good one; thanks. Good one; thanks. Good one; thanks.

Thank You for the Golden Words as well as the image. It is refreshing to hear these from someone with experience. Can you elaborate on this, please? Thanks.

The continuous recurring inputs of effort and energy needed are already draining. But if it is caused needlessly and purposefully by other persons, especially at unexpected times when we were young, it adds to the woe. But as you have already said earlier, if we want to get out of the rut, we need to 'stop blaming others....'

Yes, I have experienced that too; still I feel if the joyous states are far more powerful as to flush out the negative pasts, and occur frequently enough, it would solve the problem to the most part. I agree positivity and techniques like Time Line Therapy can help till satisfactory scientific measures are devised. I agree the key is to '' focus '' our attention on what we want to achieve so that every insignificant things, including unpleasant memories of the past, automatically get sidelined.

Thank You for this Excellent suggestion; I will be careful in the future to make better choices. Thank You for this Excellent insight; I will be careful in the future to do different things than in the past. Sure; the past influences everybody. It is how we handle this that determines our future. I think the handling becomes easier when the present is joyful, but misery creeps in when multiple failures occur in the present which is further fueled by failures of the past. Thank You for chiming in with your thoughts.

Thank You all, for taking your time to chime in. @ iNow : That is exactly what I wish to know how. If the present is not satisfying enough, I tend to look into the unpleasant events of the past and attribute those to my current failures. @ Genady : Thank You for the wise words. If I encounter repeated failures in my current endeavors, how do I persist in moving forward without getting lost in past failures? @ Phi for All : Well, I had planned for certain things in the past. All of a sudden, a stranger from nowhere comes and seduces me with words when I was still naive, and drags me into a difficult situation. Just as I was realizing in due course what had happened, the same thing happens through another stranger, again. Had those 2 incidents not happened, my relationship in family and society would have taken a different route. It is as though I have been dragged into an alternate reality ( Back to the Future II ) in completely unexpected situations at completely unexpected times by completely unexpected people. With this background, if I am struggling in the present, those past thoughts join together to make things worse. But if I see some success in the present, I am able to forget those pasts and be hopeful of a better future. My situation is how to be equanimous in the present depending neither on my current successes nor my current failures but on myself alone.

It seems easier said than done to 'Leave the past behind and move towards the future'. I read a comment somewhere, ' A big reason why a lot of us live in the past is because our present sucks and we don't see any future ! ' Any practical suggestions preferably by psychiatrists and psychologists, and others too, are welcome. TIA.

I believe " Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain " by psychiatrist John J. Ratey, M.D addresses treating depression to a great extent without medication. For those who are not inclined to exercising: " No Sweat: How the Simple Science of Motivation Can Bring You a Lifetime of Fitness " by Michelle Segar PhD. can kick up your arse for the good.