swansont

It's data mining. Numerology. Pick some number, and you can find something that fits it.

Coincidence. You picked two values that were about 108. There are a much larger set of relationships that are not. If your sacred number was 30, you would have noted that the moon is currently about 30 earth radii away from earth, and takes almost 30 days to revolve around the earth, and ignored these two "108" relationships. edit: distance is radii, not diameters

(A collection of some thoughts brought on by recent posts and posters. Some of these are touched upon in the FAQ and Pseudoscience section, and these sentiments can be found on other science fora) If you think you've toppled relativity, quantum mechanics, evolution or some other theory with your post, think again. Theories that have been around for a while have lots of evidence to back them up. It is far more likely that you have missed something. Here are some things to consider: You have to back your statements up with evidence. Anecdotes are not evidence. Being challenged to present evidence is not a personal attack. Calling the people in who challenge you "brainwashed" or "stupid" does not further your argument. Neither does throwing a tantrum. Published research (peer-reviewed) is more credible than the alternative. But peer-review is not perfect. When you have been shown to be wrong, acknowledge it. Just because some paper or web site agrees with you does not mean that you are right. You need evidence. Just because some paper comes to the same conclusion as you does not mean your hypotheses are the same. Provide references when you refer to the work of others. Make sure the work is relevant, and quotes are in the proper context. Disagreeing with you does not make someone "closed-minded." "Thinking outside the box" is not a substitute for verifiable experimental data. Mainstream science is mainstream because it works, not because of some conspiracy. If you think you have an alternative, you have to cover all the bases - not just one experiment (real or gedanken). One set of experimental results that nobody has been able to reproduce is insufficient. Respect is earned. People who are resident experts, mods and administrators have earned those titles. Be familiar with that which you are criticizing. Don't make up your own terminology, and know the language of the science. A theory is not a guess. If nothing will convince you your viewpoint is wrong, you aren't doing science. That's religion. All theories are of limited scope. Just because a theory does not address some point you want it to does not automatically mean it's wrong. Not understanding a concept, or discovering that it's counterintuitive, does not make it wrong. Nature is under no obligation to behave the way you want it to. You are entitled to your own opinion, but you are not entitled to your own facts. Science cares very little about your opinion, as it has little relevance to the subject. If you want to be taken seriously, you have to address criticism of your viewpoint.

(A collection of some thoughts brought on by recent posts and posters. Some of these are touched upon in the FAQ and Pseudoscience section, and these sentiments can be found on other science fora) If you think you've toppled relativity, quantum mechanics, evolution or some other theory with your post, think again. Theories that have been around for a while have lots of evidence to back them up. It is far more likely that you have missed something. Here are some things to consider: 1. You have to back your statements up with evidence. 2. Anecdotes are not evidence. 3. Being challenged to present evidence is not a personal attack. 4. Calling the people in who challenge you "brainwashed" or "stupid" does not further your argument. Neither does throwing a tantrum. 5. Published research (peer-reviewed) is more credible than the alternative. But peer-review is not perfect. 6. When you have been shown to be wrong, acknowledge it. 7. Just because some paper or web site agrees with you does not mean that you are right. You need evidence. 8. Just because some paper comes to the same conclusion as you does not mean your hypotheses are the same. 9. Provide references when you refer to the work of others. Make sure the work is relevant, and quotes are in the proper context. 10. Disagreeing with you does not make someone "close-minded." "Thinking outside the box" is not a substitute for verifiable experimental data. 11. Mainstream science is mainstream because it works, not because of some conspiracy. If you think you have an alternative, you have to cover all the bases - not just one experiment (real or gedanken). One set of experimental results that nobody has been able to reproduce is insufficient. 12. Respect is earned. People who are resident experts, mods and administrators have earned those titles. 13. Be familiar with that which you are criticizing. Don't make up your own terminology, and know the language of the science. A theory is not a guess. 14. If nothing will convince you your viewpoint is wrong, you aren't doing science. That's religion. 15. All theories are of limited scope. Just because a theory does not address some point you want it to does not automatically mean it's wrong. 16. Not understanding a concept, or discovering that it's counterintuitive, does not make it wrong. Nature is under no obligation to behave the way you want it to. 17. You are entitled to your own opinion, but you are not entitled to your own facts. Science cares very little about your opinion, as it has little relevance to the subject. 18. If you want to be taken seriously, you have to address criticism of your viewpoint.

Xmas cartoons

At which point the sergeant bellowed, "You don't call me sir! I know who my parents are!" (or "I work for a living!")

A woman was invited out for a night with the girls. She promised her husband that she would be home by midnight. Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3 A.M., a bit loaded, she headed for home. Just as she got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing her husband would probably wake up, she cuckooed another 9 times. She was really proud of herself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution (even totally smashed), in order to escape a possible conflict with him. The next morning her husband asked her what time she got in and she told him "midnight." He didn't seem pissed off at all. "Whew!! Got away with that one!" she thought. Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock." When she asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed 3 times, then said, "Oh shit," cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted."

Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?" "The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," she explained. "It took us a while to find a new pilot." --- A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221." --- "What I've learned" I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes. I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only suspicion, not proof, to destroy it. I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big dick or huge tits. I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more **cked up than you think. I've learned that you can keep puking long after you think you're finished. I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities. I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first,the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place. I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones who do. I've learned that we don't have to ditch bad friends because their dysfunction makes us feel better about ourselves. I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get arrested and end up in the local paper. I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.

Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit." --- What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons, civil engineers build targets.

Sayonara's post about mating for large willie size reminded me of this Somewhere, sometime, there was a man who decides that it's time to marry, but wants his bride to be pure and unspoiled by the world. So, much like Diogenes and his search for an honest man, he went on an epic quest for a pure woman. As a test, he would drop his shorts and ask, "What's this?" Invariably, the response would be, "That's your willie!" at which point he would move on to the next candidate. One day, though, the answer was, "I don't know." He knew this was the woman he should marry, and did so. On their wedding night, he asked again, "What's this?" And the response again was, "I don't know." At which point he informed his new bride, "This my dear, is a willie." Whereupon she burst out laughing. "Be serious! Willies are black and about three times bigger!" or, alternately: Q: What's white and 12 inches long? A: Nothing

What do you call a girl with one leg shorter than the other? Eileen What do you call a Japanese girl with one leg shorter than the other? Irene What do you call a quadraplegic in a pool? Bob What do you call a leper in a hot tub? Stu What do you call a water skier with no legs? Skip What do you call a dog with no legs? You could call him 'cigarette' and take him out for a drag now and then, but it really doesn't matter - he won't come when you call, anyway.

A miner wanders into the old west town after spending a year in wilderness pulling gold out of his mine. After cashing in his year's work, he heads to the nearest saloon and orders a bottle of whiskey. After several drinks he motions the bartender over to him. "Hey bartender, you got any women here?" he says. "Nope" says the bartender. "All we got is Ol' Charley out back" "I don't go for that," says the miner and storms out of the bar in a huff. A year passes by and the miner comes back into town, cashes in his gold, and heads back to the same saloon and orders a bottle of whiskey. As he drinks it he says to the bartender "Hey, did you ever get any women in here" "Nope" says the bartender, "but we've still got Ol' Charley out back" "I don't go for that," says the miner and storms out of the bar. Another year passes. "Hey, you got any women in here yet?" "Nope" says the bartender, "but we've still got Ol' Charley out back" "I don’t go for that," says the miner and starts to leave but stops in his tracks and turns back to the bartender. Pondering his three year lack of intimacy, the miner says "Now, if I went out back with Ol' Charley, who's going to know about it?" The bartender scratches his head and thinks for a moment. "Well there'd be you, me, Ol' Charley of course, and them two other fellers." "What two other fellers?" asks the miner. The bartender replies "The two fellers holding down Ol' Charley. He don't go for that neither"

A man was wandering around a fairground and he happened to see a fortune-teller's tent. Thinking it would be good for a laugh, he went inside and sat down. "Ah....." said the woman as she gazed into her crystal ball. "I see you are the father of two children." "That's what you think," said the man scornfully. "I'm the father of THREE children.". The woman grinned and said, "That's what YOU think.

Annoyed by the professor of anatomy who told racy stories during class, a group of coeds decided that the next time he started to tell one they would all rise and leave the room in protest. The professor, however, got wind of their scheme just before class the following day, so he bided his time: then, halfway through the lecture, he began. "They say there is quite a shortage of prostitutes in France . . ." The girls looked at one another, arose, and started for the door. "Young ladies," said the professor, "the next plane doesn't leave until tomorrow afternoon."

A penguin takes his sputtering car to a mechanic to be fixed. The mechanic says "it could take a while to service your car, come back in about 3 hours." So the penguin waddles over to the ice cream parlor across the street and gorges on ice cream for 3 hours straight. The penguin waddles back to the garage and the mechanic says "it looks like you blew a seal." So the penguin says "no, it's just ice cream."

He's doing well as a sit-down comedian for the moment.

It's the Spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date. He's a pretty hip guy with his own car. When he goes to the front door, the girl's father answers and invites him in. "Carrie's not ready yet, so why don't you have a seat?" he asks. "That's cool," says Bobby. Carrie's father asks Bobby what they're planning to do. Bobby replies politely that they will probably just go to the soda shop or a movie. Carrie's father responds, "Why don't you two go out and screw? I hear all the kids are doing it." Naturally, this comes as a quite a surprise to Bobby, so he asks Carrie's Dad to repeat it. "Yeah," says Carrie's father, "Carrie really likes to screw, she'll screw all night if we let her!" Well, this just made Bobby's eyes light up, and immediately revised his plans for the evening. A few minutes later, Carrie comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt and announces that she's ready to go. Almost breathless with anticipation, Bobby escorts his date out the front door. About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly disheveled Carrie rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her, and screams at her father: 'Dammit, Daddy! "The Twist!!" It's called "The Twist!!!"'

What's the best form of birth control after 50? -Nudity How many women does it take to change a light bulb? -None, they just sit there in the dark and b!tch. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good looking? -Because those men already have boyfriends. What do you call a smart blonde? -A golden retriever. A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade. Who has the biggest boobs? -The blonde, because she's 18. Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? -Ask your mom. Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex? -Because they have cotton balls. What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts? -Her navel. What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? -A porcupine has the pricks on the outside. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? -"Are you sure it's mine?" <deleted> What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half mast? -They're hiring. Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi? -He walks around saying "Yo." <deleted> What's the difference between a Southern zoo, and a Northern zoo? -A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front the cage, along with a recipe.

Points to Ponder If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? Are people more violently opposed to fur rather than leather because it's much easier to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs? Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn't they be wearing night gowns? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? Why is it that when we bounce a check, the bank charges us more of what they already know we don't have any of? When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with. If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a Phillip's Screwdriver? Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist? Why is it that no word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple? Why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up a project, I end it? Why is it that we recite at a play and play at a recital? Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites? Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? Why don't tomb, comb, and bomb sound alike? Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things? If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible? "I am." is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I Do." is the longest sentence? If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and drycleaners depressed? Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure? If you take an Oriental man and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?

DARK IN HERE A woman takes a lover during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already. The little boy says, "Dark in here." The man says, "Yes, it is." Boy - "I have a baseball." Man - "That's nice." Boy - "Want to buy it?" Man - "No, thanks." Boy - "My dad's outside." Man - "OK, how much?" Boy - "$250" In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together. Boy - "Dark in here." Man - "Yes, it is." Boy - "I have a baseball glove." The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?" Boy - "$750" Man - "Fine." A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch." The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" Boy -"$1,000" The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that...that is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess." They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door. The boy says, "Dark in here." The priest says, "Don't start that $%*& again".

I do have a basic idea of 'jokes that will get me slapped' or 'jokes that will eliminate the chance of another date.' It's not foolproof. Women claim to like guys with a sense of humor, but they are, shall we say, 'highly nonlinear.'

Well, yes. But posting a joke isn't necessarily an endorsement of that point of view.