A woman was invited out for a night with the girls. She promised her husband that she would be home by midnight. Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3 A.M., a bit loaded, she headed for home.
Just as she got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing her husband would probably wake up, she cuckooed another 9 times. She was really proud of herself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution (even totally smashed), in order to escape a possible conflict with him.
The next morning her husband asked her what time she got in and she told him "midnight." He didn't seem pissed off at all. "Whew!! Got away with that one!" she thought.
Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock." When she asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed 3 times, then said, "Oh shit," cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted."