webbed_feet

Been there done that. At your age I had many of the same symptoms and it just got worse as I got older. I bet the harder you try the worse your symptoms get... right? You have problems with your prefrontal cortex (ADD/ADHD - although I don't really like these kind of terms). This explains the social anxiety, memory problems, and your speech problems. The prefrontal cortex (PFC) is instrumental in all of these processes. In my experience there are a few things you can do. First, you can try stimulant meds like adderall, or secondly, you can seek out neurofeedback help (expensive). Another thing you can try, which is affordable, is A/V stimulation - mindalive.ca is a good place to start. To help better understand your problem I'll just tell you that your PFC is underpowered and you probably feel overwhelmed by your life because of this. Hence, the reason you seem to be getting worse - stress increases when we get older and try to take on more responsibility and since your brain is not processing the incoming stimuli properly it essentially shuts down (memory problems, anxiety, speech, writing difficulties/organizing thoughts, brain fog, drowsness). This is a clear case of a learning disorder. Many learning disorders have depression and anxiety and are therefore misdiagnosed as being just depression/anxiety. But I'd stay away from meds like SSRI's since they increase serotonin. Serotonin will just slow down your PFC even more and likely make things worse. Read Dr. Amen's book, "Change Your Brain, Change Your Life" (Amazon - Daniel Amen). There is a good section in this book on the PFC and it's function and how it affects processes in the brain. You appear to have all the classic symptoms. I'll check back to see your reply. If you can't afford the A/V stimulation I have a unit I can sell you cheap and give you advice on how to use it. This must be treated or you'll just get worse and it will ruin your life. The good news is that it is a fairly simple "fix" once you know what the problem is and how to best treat it. wf

I would need to make the distinction between romantic love and unconditional love, because I think different biological factors are involved. In short, my experience is that romantic love can have a "shelf-life", whereas unconditional love is a bond for life and for evolution (i.e. the survival of the species is dependent on the mother child bond). It appears you are referring to romantic love only, so I'll try to lend my opinion on this. There are evolutionary factors involved here too, but I think romantic love is a process where we take all of our previous experience and project it on another. In other words, when we look for a partner we use what we have accumulated, in terms of an "ideal mate," based our experiences throughout life. Those who fit, or at least come the closest, are the ones we are attracted to. And since this person we've chosen "fits our ideal" we in turn open ourselves up to reactions in the brain (again, evolutionary) that send a cascade of chemicals - namely dopamine, which is a neurotransmitter that controls risk/reward and pleasure. So basically, I consider "falling in love" to be just a chemical reaction based on an archetype we've accumulated throughout life. Hence, when we grow and change over the years we also change our perspective (archetype) and thus we might then "fall out of love" with the person who used to fit our ideal - the 7 year itch. To me, spirituality, if it exist, comes in to play with unconditional love only, since that seems to be the kind of love that's transcendent. wf