As a mermaid, I would gravitate toward the notion that living in the ocean is awful, and that I'd very much like to live in a warm dry house, and have some children who have legs. A cell phone would be nice too, and maybe an Ipad.
I wrote a poem about my mermaid theory of gravity:
Oh, just look at those bubbles
as they rise by the kelp
mammals share none of my troubles
im sure evolution would help
I spend every day in the water
my skin is so pruny and creased
half man, half fish, what a bother
what god would create such a beast
Life is so boring alone in the sea
Living on land would be fun
At least I can eat all the fish that I wish
But it's always a meal for one.