This is where the secret is, its the initial thought that one has to control. U always have choice, u choose what enters and what doesnt. We are not at mercy of life, its not what we feel that governs what we think but rather what we think that goerns what we feel. The problem is people have difficulty maintaining constent vigilance over their thoughts, but its only at the beggining that things are difficult then it becomes like everytrhing else a built in mechanism. Try it and you will see.