Phi for All

1. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. 2. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist. 3. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 4. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental. 5. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care. 6. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid. 7. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!? 8. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant. 9. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth. 10. Ahhh, I see the f**k-up fairy has visited us again. 11. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you. 12. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off. 13. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial. 14. No, my powers can only be used for good. 15. How about never? Is never good for you? 16. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me. 17. You sound reasonable. Time to up my medication. 18. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter. 19. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message. 20. I don't work here. I'm a consultant. 21. Who me? I just wander from room to room. 22. My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys! 23. It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy. 24. At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits. 25. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers. 26. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. 27. Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

How many snowflakes (no two alike!) would it take to ground butterflies?

We have established in this thread that a legal definition must be arbitrary in order to span cultural differences. The fact that an 8 week old fetus has everything that establishes it as a human doesn't alter the fact that it is still dependent on the mother for life for several more months. Everyone's opinions will differ as to when or if it is acceptable to terminate an unborn child, and all those opinions are completely valid. Abortion must be viewed from a legal stance only or this thread would be endless. Since making all abortions illegal brings up too many opportunities for injustice, a line must be drawn somewhere that accomodates as many situations as possible.

Perhaps rather than posting our silly current requests for supernatural intervention, some of you would like to share some past experiences where you asked for something and it came to pass in a spooky sort of way? Many years ago I had a girlfriend I had decided to break up with. I had put off the decision too long but had finally decided to do it and made arrangements to see her. An hour before we were to meet I was dreading it and wished something would happen so I could get out of it. A few minutes later my phone rang and I remember getting a chill. It was my oldest friend asking me to drive him to the emergency room to get his hand stitched up. He had cut himself badly just a few minutes before. Coincidence? Maybe, but I felt really bad about it.

Osho's haiku's great, but he is not a member. How about boxhead's?

And the longer you keep it, the higher the chance you'll lose it and have to pay them a $50 replacement charge! j/k Sorry to say, they are headquartered in Dallas. I believe they started out in Plantation, Florida. Can you tell I prefer independent video rental stores?

Way to go, Cap'n! Will you still talk to us when you're famous?

Because that's what society is made up of.

Why did I have the impression that the British were farther along when it comes to racial tolerance? The BNP sounds like the KKK.

I believe the power of gratitude and love affects us in ways we can never measure or prove. I believe positive and negative emotions affect us on a cellular level. I believe there are truths out there that we will never understand because we demand proof through our senses. If we can't see it, it doesn't exist for us. I believe we need faith as well as science or all we have is technology.

Two high school sweethearts went out together exclusively for four years in high school. When they graduated, they wanted to both go to the same college but the girl was accepted to a college on the east coast, and the guy went to the west coast. They swore to be faithful to each other and spend anytime they could together. As time went on, the guy would call the girl and she would never be home, and when he wrote, she would take weeks to return the letters. Even when he emailed her, she took days to return his messages. Finally, she confessed to him she had been dating around. He didn't take this very well and increased his calls, letters, and emails trying to win back her love. She became annoyed, and now had a new boyfriend, and she wanted to get her old one off her back. She took a polaroid picture of her and her new boyfriend having sex and sent it to her old boyfriend with a note reading, "I found a better boyfriend, leave me alone." Well, needless to say, the guy was heartbroken. He also wanted revenge. So what he did next was awesome. He wrote on the back of the photo, "Dear Mom and Dad, having a great time at college, please send more money!" and mailed the picture to her parents.

Got you, Bettina! Kentuckian who gets Hai is ever so ku.

Rippling drops of life, destruction or fulfilment. Water is power.

About 10 years ago, I stopped watching ALL professional sports for this very reason. The last straw for me was when the Denver Broncos, who I had supported all my life, told the city they would take the franchise elsewhere unless we built them a new stadium. I haven't missed it a bit. I have more time for more important things than listening to overpaid whiners.

Q: What did the accordionist get on his SAT test? A: Drool. Q: Why do some people take an instant dislike to accordionists? A: It saves a lot of time. Q: What will you never say about an accordionist? A: "That's the accordionist's porsche." Q: What's the difference between an accordion and a cat? A: Only the cost. They both make the same sound when you squeeze them. Q: How do you make two accordionists play in time? A: Shoot one of them. Q: What is the difference between an accordion and a lawnmower? A: You can tune an accordion. Q: What is the difference between an accordion and an onion? A: Nobody cries when you chop an accordion into little pieces. Q: What is the difference between an accordion and a chainsaw? A: The grip. Q: What is the difference between an accordion and a trampoline? A: You are supposed to take off your shoes before jumping on the trampoline. Q: What do you call someone who hangs around a bunch of musicians? A: An accordionist. Q: What do accordionists use for birth control? A: Their personality. Q: What do a true music lover and an accordionist have in common? A: Absolutely nothing. Q: If you drop an accordion, a set of bagpipes and a banjo off a 20-story building, which one lands first? A: Who cares? Q: What's the difference between an accordion and a banjo? A: An accordion burns faster. Q: What is a set of bagpipes good for? A: Kindling for an accordion fire. Q: What do you call an accordion player with a pager? A: An optimist. Q: What does a long court hearing and an accordionist have in common? A: There is always a huge sigh of relief when the case is closed. Q: What is the definition of a gentleman? A: Somebody who knows how to play the accordion, but doesn't. Q: What is the difference between an accordionist and a terrorist? A: Terrorists have sympathisers.

Poor 2004! Make way for a better year, a Happy New Year!

Oooh, some grumpy Gir is getting Newcastle coal in his stocking!

Gilded drinks vodka, stacks empties in pyramid. You better watch out! One more might cause a vodka bottle avalanche. You better not shout! On Christmas morning, Gilded wakes up hungover. I'm telling you why.

Funny you should mention that, Gilded. YT2095 was telling me just the other day, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything she really needs, and I can't afford to buy her anything too extravagant, so I'm stumped." I told him, "I have an idea. Why don't you make up a certificate that says she can have two hours of great sex, any way she wants it. She'll probably think it's the greatest gift EVER!" He said, "Phi, that's a great idea! I'll jump on the computer and work something up right now!" This morning was Kitty's birthday, so I asked him, "Well, how did your wife like her certificate?" YT screamed at me, "Oh, she loved it, ya huge bloody GIT! She jumped up, kissed me on the mouth, and ran out the door yelling, 'I'll see you in a couple of hours, love!'"

The hilarious exploits of an Idaho ninja? For reals?

Good news for Sophia (my daughter's middle name). I hope she gets every penny. And what I love most is the irony that AOL-Time Warner covered it all up, insuring that there were plenty of unbiased people for the jury. I'm so glad their little scheme blew up in their mega-faces!

Kid, go quid pro quo. Just bite him back on the foot. Now THAT'S newsworthy!

Don't go overboard, not a capital offense! Dog just has bad taste.

That is good. And it's my wish to all of you brainy-types out there.

Thanks very much, admins & mods of SFN, for all your time and trouble. I know you like doing it or you wouldn't, but still, thanks for liking it. And doing it. And stuff.