Phi for All

A friend sent me this, Pangloss. If you haven't seen it, I thought you might get a kick out of it. Florida Voting Machines

So was it the UN weapons inspectors who let that much slip through their fingers? Why did Mohamed ElBaradei wait until now to report the matter to the U.N. Security Council? If they had been missing since before the war, why did Condi Rice get a warning this month?

$#&*! This thread now has the %&*#ing highest post count of any @*%$#^@ thread EVER here at SFN! Thanks for all the %&*#ing funny, guys and gals! Keep it coming! A dutiful son has been trying to find a nursing home for his aged father, but the father always finds something wrong with every one. Finally, the son takes his father to a nursing home with the best reputation in the city. The food is great, the staff is extremely attentive, the healthcare superb and the other patients seem very sociable. The son signs his father up. The next day, the old man is in one of the recreation rooms sitting on the sofa watching TV when one of the nurses sees him start to lean sideways. Immediately she rushes in and straightens him up, fearing he might fall off the couch if she's not careful. A few minutes later, the old man begins to lean to the other side, and once again the nurse rushes to his aid. This happens several more time before the old man gets up and goes to his room. In his room, the old man calls his son and tells him, "Come get me out of here, I hate this place!" The son asks, "Pop, what's wrong with this place?" The old man says, "They're too strict! They won't even let you FART here!"

A very low blow indeed. That was just plain stupid. If you want to spin something like that this close to election, you say "Thank God Cheney got a flu shot! With his poor health and being the second most powerful man in the world, he should be at the top of the list!"

I'm not talking about "all explosives", I'm talking about a known stockpile of HMX we were warned about BEFORE we invaded, an explosive used to detonate nuclear material. If you can't spare the manpower to guard all the stockpiles, you destroy it or you take it to facilities you CAN guard.

I agree that it makes the electoral college pointless. I don't agree that it makes it like "winner-take-all". That's what the current system is like.

It allocates Colorado's electoral votes based on the percentage of votes for each presidential candidate, so in your example (yeah, right!) Kerry would get 8 and Bush would get 1.

Colorado has an ammendment up for vote that, if passed, will portion our electoral votes by candidate. Since we have 9 electors, if Bush gets better than half the vote, he'll get 5 electoral votes, Kerry will get 4. It will no longer be all or nothing. If the ammendment is passed, it will be in effect for the 2004 presidential race.

From a Reuters story today: http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=578&u=/nm/20041025/ts_nm/iraq_explosives_dc_4 380 tons of explosives, including HMX, missing from a site that should have been secured a long time ago. Needless to say, a major screw-up by the US military. From the story: We've known since before the war that these explosives needed to be secured, and now we seem to be surprised they are missing.

The Pope is visiting town and all the residents are dressed up in their best Sunday clothes. Everyone lines up on main street hoping for a personal blessing from the Pope. One local man has put on his best suit and he's sure the Pope will stop and talk to him. He is standing next to an exceptionally down-trodden looking bum who doesn't smell very good. As the Pope comes walking by he leans over and says something to the bum and then walks right by the local man. He can't believe it, but then he realizes that the Pope is concerned for the unfortunate people, the poor and and feeble ones. Thinking fast, he gives the bum $20 to trade clothes with him. He puts on the bum's clothing and runs down the street to line up for another chance for the Pope to stop and talk to him. Sure enough, the Pope walks right up to him this time, leans over close and says "I thought I told you to get the hell out of here!"

Several years ago, the Catholic Church required women to wear a head covering in order to enter the sanctuary. One Sunday a lady arrived without her head covering. The priest informs her that she cannot enter without it. A few moments later, the lady reappears topless, wearing her blouse tied to her head. The shocked priest says, "Madam, I cannot allow you to enter this holy place without wearing your blouse properly." "But Father, I have a divine right," she tells him. He looks her up and down and says, "I see that, and your left one isn't bad either, but you still must wear a blouse!"

Hawk on my rooftop told me the war is stupid. I told him, "No sh*t!"

Personally, I believe the woman carrying the baby has the right to choose what happens to her body. If it were my wife, I would urge her NOT to abort if there were no health complications. I believe we need to set a limit on how long a woman can wait before aborting. If you truly believe life starts at conception, then any abortion is murder. I think life starts when the child could reasonably be separated from the mother. After this time, unless there is a real threat to the mother, abortion should not be a legal option. I think any other distinctions place an unfair burden on people which doesn't take individual context into account.

Don't buy anything, save your money, get your house that much sooner, and have your friends chip in to buy you a PC and a car as housewarming presents.

Ya know, when I was 20 and I got an erection, I couldn't bend it with both hands. By the time I was 30, I could bend it about 10 degrees if I tried really hard. By the time I was 40, I could bend it about 20 degrees, no problem. I'm gonna be 50 next week, and now I can almost bend it in half with just one hand! Are you worried about getting old? Hell, no! I'm just wondering how much STRONGER I'm gonna get!

I was just up at the Fort doing some biz with HP last week. I'm down in Denver (suburbia). Welcome to SFN, I hope you enjoy it.

How about: 1. What are the effects of increased tourism on the Great Barrier Reef? 2. Can nanotechnology be used to create orbital space platforms thereby reducing costs due to reaching escape velocity? 3. Is Spongebob Squarepants based on the life of a real sponge person?

That's an old picture of YT2095. His hair's shorter than Vin Diesel's now. Not much to makeover, I'm afraid. Although he could do with a brisk polish.

Who are your picks for the new Han Solo, Luke Skywalker & Princess Leia for Episode 7?

Minimum age for US President=35. You have twenty years to impress us. Go for it!

I had my wife read it and 50% through I had to tell her it was made up because I could hear her getting madder and madder. I knew she'd have been up all night muttering about Bush AND me if I'd let her get to the end without telling her. Wisdom.

Hey Lance, could you make a ferro-lamp with an electromagnet at the top that would pull the filings when turned on and drop them when turned off? Then you could rig up a timer to have it go on and off at intervals so it moved like a lava lamp does (not the same movement of course, but movement makes it interactive and fun to watch). You may have discovered a new use for all the ferro-fluid you've got laying around (besides ferro-frenching, of course).

25 posts in the Jokes Section and only 5 contain jokes. You're 34 years old (according to your bio), and you STILL can't use the Jokes Section properly? One morning Cap'n Refsmmat's mother was cleaning his room, and she found an S&M magazine under the bed. She was beside herself worrying and stressing trying to think of how to handle the situation. Finally her husband came home from work and he asked her how her day was. Mama Refsmmat told him about the magazine. Shaking, she asked him how they were going handle this situation. Papa Refsmmat sat there for awhile, sighed, and said, "Well, I guess spanking him is out of the question."

How to make your own lava lamp.