Phi for All

A woman who had terrible luck with men decided to place an ad for the perfect man in the personals section of the newspaper. She specified that she wanted a man who wouldn't beat her, wouldn't run out on her, and was fantastic in bed. Any many fruitless replies via the post and email, one day her doorbell rang. When she answered it, she saw a man with no arms or legs lying on her doormat. "Hi," he said, "I'm here to answer your ad. I'm the perfect man for you!" Looking down at him, she asks, "What makes you think you're the perfect man for me?" He says, "Well, I have no arms, so I can't beat you, and I have no legs, so I can't run out on you." She says, "Yeah, but are you good in bed?" He winks and says, "Hey, I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"

There was no one reason. It was a combination of need, greed and opportunity, as most modern warfare usually is. Some probable reasons: 1. Saddam Hussein's oppressive, murdering regime. 2. A visible lack of closure for 9/11. 3. The possibility of nuclear weapons in the hands of an uncontrollable Middle East leader. 4. The need for a smokescreen to deflect attention away from: a. the fact that Osama bin Laden had not been captured. b. Bush gave away his chance to capture bin Laden to Afghan warlords. c. Unocal was taking over construction of the Trans-Afghani pipeline. 5. We did not spend enough money on the war in Afghanistan and defense contractors wanted us to use more expensive ordinance. 6. The American public did not feel safe enough from terrorist threats. 7. The chance to declare a democracy in a region that could use some decent representative government. 8. A boost for a sagging economy. Just wait until tomorrow or Thursday and I'm sure you will see a major offensive in Iraq since no damage can come to the elections from heavy casualties or lack of results. I pray for our troops.

I'm not the author but nothing in the title suggests that. What does the UK spend on defense? Do you feel your tax dollars are fairly spent?

For half a trillion dollars, you'd think every HumVee could have armor, wouldn't you? I don't think most people are aware of how much defense spending has gone up. When I mention Pangloss' figures about how it took us over 200 years to go from $0 to $250 billion, and just 10 years to double that, most people just blink rapidly while trying to keep their jaws from dropping. Most of it, I'm sure, goes to folks like Lockheed Martin, the world's largest arms dealer, for high-tech/high price tag goodies that the public gets to ooh and aah about while viewing the CNN footage. Meanwhile, soldiers get to ride underarmored convoys and scrounge for body armor. I read in USA Today over the weekend where something like 250 of the 1100+ American troops who were killede in Iraq died from non-combat related means. The article didn't go into more depth. What non-combat related means did we lose over 20% of the casualties to, does anyone know?

We actually had troops there at Al Qaqaa shortly after the invasion who inspected the site, but apparently were so intent on WMD that they left material used in nuclear weapons manufacture behind. Reports say they saw the material in bunkers but didn't inspect it to discover whether it was HMX or not. I don't blame the soldiers. They do what they are ordered to do. But why wasn't an order given from the top that if you actually find a cache of high-power explosives that you destroy it? I'm sure there is a lot I don't know about the logistics of destroying munitions, but it would seem prudent not to leave them in enemy hands if you find them, can't secure them and could conceivably destroy them.

I haven't looked at anything from MoveOn in over a year. I think I covered that by saying Afghanistan was less a conspiracy and more taking advantage of opportunities. I'm not being partisan on this. The Unocal deal was begun under the Clinton administration. In fact, I only register Democrat to vote in the primaries. I'm very disappointed in both major parties right now. They both make deals with immensely wealthy corporations that have a small amount to do with protecting this country and a great deal to do with protecting their cashflow. I think it's a small step to go from taking advantage of opportunities to actually engineering them, and when the return on investments approach 500% and the money involved is in the trillions, I trust big business about this much.

I find it extremely hard to be unbiased when it comes to this war. George Bush Sr. found Saddam to be a great scapegoat when the entire country was looking to crucify his son Neal after the Silverado S&L scandal. I find it very interesting that, in late April of 1999, Afghanistan, Pakistan, & Turkmenistan reactivated the Trans-Afghanistan pipeline project, excluding Unocal, the US contractor. I've heard estimates that this pipeline is worth $12 trillion in oil and natural gas. After 9/11, we attack Afghanistan, overthrow the Taliban, which Unocal had asked a House Committee to do back in 1998, and now Unocal is back working on the pipeline under the auspices of the new Afghani leader, Hamid Karzai, who just happened to be a top advisor to Unocal. And here is the American public, too busy arguing about whether or not we should be in Iraq, and we have taken it for granted that we should be in Afghanistan. The magicians wave one hand so you don't pay attention to what they're really doing with the other. This probably has less to do with conspiracy than with taking advantage of opportunities, but I think we are being played like fiddles here.

I think it is extremely necessary to determine for legal purposes when the life of a human being starts, and it simply can not be at conception. As mentioned already in this thread, there are too many ways to miscarry between when the ovum is fertilized and when it attaches itself to the uterine wall and begins to grow. Even after that there are many risks and the mother can't be held responsible for them all. I think the beginning of the second trimester is the best time limit. After four months, the option of abortion should not be allowed unless it puts the mother at great health risk.

A friend sent me this, Pangloss. If you haven't seen it, I thought you might get a kick out of it. Florida Voting Machines

So was it the UN weapons inspectors who let that much slip through their fingers? Why did Mohamed ElBaradei wait until now to report the matter to the U.N. Security Council? If they had been missing since before the war, why did Condi Rice get a warning this month?

$#&*! This thread now has the %&*#ing highest post count of any @*%$#^@ thread EVER here at SFN! Thanks for all the %&*#ing funny, guys and gals! Keep it coming! A dutiful son has been trying to find a nursing home for his aged father, but the father always finds something wrong with every one. Finally, the son takes his father to a nursing home with the best reputation in the city. The food is great, the staff is extremely attentive, the healthcare superb and the other patients seem very sociable. The son signs his father up. The next day, the old man is in one of the recreation rooms sitting on the sofa watching TV when one of the nurses sees him start to lean sideways. Immediately she rushes in and straightens him up, fearing he might fall off the couch if she's not careful. A few minutes later, the old man begins to lean to the other side, and once again the nurse rushes to his aid. This happens several more time before the old man gets up and goes to his room. In his room, the old man calls his son and tells him, "Come get me out of here, I hate this place!" The son asks, "Pop, what's wrong with this place?" The old man says, "They're too strict! They won't even let you FART here!"

A very low blow indeed. That was just plain stupid. If you want to spin something like that this close to election, you say "Thank God Cheney got a flu shot! With his poor health and being the second most powerful man in the world, he should be at the top of the list!"

I'm not talking about "all explosives", I'm talking about a known stockpile of HMX we were warned about BEFORE we invaded, an explosive used to detonate nuclear material. If you can't spare the manpower to guard all the stockpiles, you destroy it or you take it to facilities you CAN guard.

I agree that it makes the electoral college pointless. I don't agree that it makes it like "winner-take-all". That's what the current system is like.

It allocates Colorado's electoral votes based on the percentage of votes for each presidential candidate, so in your example (yeah, right!) Kerry would get 8 and Bush would get 1.

Colorado has an ammendment up for vote that, if passed, will portion our electoral votes by candidate. Since we have 9 electors, if Bush gets better than half the vote, he'll get 5 electoral votes, Kerry will get 4. It will no longer be all or nothing. If the ammendment is passed, it will be in effect for the 2004 presidential race.

From a Reuters story today: http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=578&u=/nm/20041025/ts_nm/iraq_explosives_dc_4 380 tons of explosives, including HMX, missing from a site that should have been secured a long time ago. Needless to say, a major screw-up by the US military. From the story: We've known since before the war that these explosives needed to be secured, and now we seem to be surprised they are missing.

The Pope is visiting town and all the residents are dressed up in their best Sunday clothes. Everyone lines up on main street hoping for a personal blessing from the Pope. One local man has put on his best suit and he's sure the Pope will stop and talk to him. He is standing next to an exceptionally down-trodden looking bum who doesn't smell very good. As the Pope comes walking by he leans over and says something to the bum and then walks right by the local man. He can't believe it, but then he realizes that the Pope is concerned for the unfortunate people, the poor and and feeble ones. Thinking fast, he gives the bum $20 to trade clothes with him. He puts on the bum's clothing and runs down the street to line up for another chance for the Pope to stop and talk to him. Sure enough, the Pope walks right up to him this time, leans over close and says "I thought I told you to get the hell out of here!"

Several years ago, the Catholic Church required women to wear a head covering in order to enter the sanctuary. One Sunday a lady arrived without her head covering. The priest informs her that she cannot enter without it. A few moments later, the lady reappears topless, wearing her blouse tied to her head. The shocked priest says, "Madam, I cannot allow you to enter this holy place without wearing your blouse properly." "But Father, I have a divine right," she tells him. He looks her up and down and says, "I see that, and your left one isn't bad either, but you still must wear a blouse!"

Hawk on my rooftop told me the war is stupid. I told him, "No sh*t!"

Personally, I believe the woman carrying the baby has the right to choose what happens to her body. If it were my wife, I would urge her NOT to abort if there were no health complications. I believe we need to set a limit on how long a woman can wait before aborting. If you truly believe life starts at conception, then any abortion is murder. I think life starts when the child could reasonably be separated from the mother. After this time, unless there is a real threat to the mother, abortion should not be a legal option. I think any other distinctions place an unfair burden on people which doesn't take individual context into account.

Don't buy anything, save your money, get your house that much sooner, and have your friends chip in to buy you a PC and a car as housewarming presents.

Ya know, when I was 20 and I got an erection, I couldn't bend it with both hands. By the time I was 30, I could bend it about 10 degrees if I tried really hard. By the time I was 40, I could bend it about 20 degrees, no problem. I'm gonna be 50 next week, and now I can almost bend it in half with just one hand! Are you worried about getting old? Hell, no! I'm just wondering how much STRONGER I'm gonna get!

I was just up at the Fort doing some biz with HP last week. I'm down in Denver (suburbia). Welcome to SFN, I hope you enjoy it.