Phi for All

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, it's good to be back! I see we have Pangloss in the audience tonight. What exactly is that, some new kind of Teflon coating? Seriously, we're glad he could make it, even though he's lost his tan and he's looking kind of pruney. Was it a little overcast at the beach in Florida this summer? After surviving all those hurricanes, I think he's extra pale after looking up here on stage and seeing a Tin Man with a microphone. You're not in Florida anymore, Dorothy! Pangloss is still an undecided Florida voter, so both candidates are trying to woo him. I think he has enough ketchup and grits to last a lifetime! Kerry and Bush both chipped in and bought him a vintage Corvair, just to piss off Nader! Just remember, DON'T TURN RIGHT TOO FAST, PANGLOSS!

The lump is too square to be his spine, but I have suspenders that cross right about there and probably look like that from behind. I think most of this speculation came about because of his curious remark, "Now, let me finish!" during the first debate, when nobody had interupted and their was no reaction from the crowd. I remembered thinking how odd that sounded.

Third debate letdown; "Let me quote some statistics!" Debate, mass debate.

Part of the problem is the way we look at it. We assume that the oil is gone overnight and we are left with our pants down. I guarantee that is not what will happen. Any move away from fossil fuels will be a good thing, and the fact that it will happen over a period of time should give smart people time to transition. There would be plenty of oil for all our needs except gasoline distillation if we could find a better way to power our transportation. The Middle East might not have quite the leverage it does now but they could certainly still sell crude oil for purposes other than fuel. The biggest problem the Middle East has in all of this is becoming like the banana republics of Africa & South America. When European and American endeavors came to mine the mineral deposits, they traded for bananas with the natives. The natives enjoyed the "fruits" of this labor and turned the majority of their attention to it. When the miners quickly pulled out after the ore was depleted, the natives had no one to sell bananas to, and bananas were their whole economy. If the Middle East can develope a more diversified economy using their oil riches now, they won't get left holding the bag (or barrel).

A stranger was seated next to Sayonara³ on the plane when the stranger turned to Sayonara³ and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." Sayonara³, who had just opened his new biology book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?" "Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?" "OK," said Sayonara³. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces large clumps. Why do you suppose that is?" "Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea." "Well, then," said Sayonara³, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"

Two tigers are stalking through the jungle when the one in the rear suddenly reaches out with his tongue and licks the butt of the one in front. The lead tiger turns and says, "Hey, cut that out!" The other tiger says sorry and they continue on their way. After about five minutes the second tiger suddenly repeats his action. The front tiger turns angrily and says," I said don't do that again!" The rear tiger apologizes again and they continue. After about another five minutes, the rear tiger again licks the but of the lead tiger. The lead tiger turns and says, "What is it with you, anyway? I told you to stop!" The second tiger says, "I really am sorry, but I just ate a lawyer and I'm trying to get the taste out of my mouth."

What is everyone's feelings that Bush was being fed answers through a hidden device during the debates? http://www.inthesetimes.com/site/main/article/1331 http://www.redefeatbush.com/index.php http://www.isbushwired.com/

There was an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant. So, he went to the doctor to have a sperm count done. The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back the next day. The elderly man came back the next day but the specimen cup was empty. When the doctor asked why, the old man told him, "Well , doc, I took the specimen cup home yesterday and at first I tried with my right hand and... nothing. Then I tried with my left hand and still... nothing. I had my wife try, right hand, left hand, both hands, nothing. She even tried using her mouth!" The doctor, getting a little embarassed, said, "And?" The old guy said, "And, we still couldn't get the lid off the specimen cup!"

Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together. The first one tells her friends, "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'." The second Catholic woman says, "My son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Grace'." The third Catholic woman says smugly, "My son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Eminence'." The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence. The first three women turn to look at her until she finally replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6' 2", hard-bodied stripper. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Oh, my God!'"

What these debates have shown me is how the entire election process has been boiled down to a numbers process. The candidates rely on opinion polls and spin specialists to tell them what to say and how to say it rather than speaking from the heart or trying to be honest about the realities of how the system works. We try to forget that big money is in their face every day trying to get them to play ball, promising this in return for that. To big money, it is all numbers. Corp A's $1M contribution to Cadidate A's pet project gets a favorable bill passed which results in savings of $1.6M for Corp A which is a 60% ROI. I feel so manipulated. I think Pangloss said it before, advocacy is our only way out of this. The wealthiest 1% in this country has more money than the bottom 90%, but we still have clout with our votes. It's the one thing we have and we let it slip through our fingers more every day.

Two things: You gotta have a sense of humor when it comes to forum posting, because you can't see someone smile as they're typing the way you can in a face-to-face conversation. And even if they're not smiling, you can't take things personally. No one should be making personal attacks on this forum, they're usually just attacking your ideas or comments. Your ideas should be strong enough to survive critical inspection. If you know they're not, then you shouldn't post them. If you consider your ideas sacred, don't let this crowd know because nothing is sacred in science. Expect criticism, expect sarcasm and especially expect the Spanish Inquisition. So you gotta have those two things, a thicker skin, a sense of humor, and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope. Three, three things.

Probably for the same reason they used to mention Newt Gingrich's sister. It makes the politician seem worse if they hold a viewpoint that goes directly against a close relative. It was not to bash Cheney's daughter, imo, it was more to say, look, here's a guy who is against his own daughter's choice of lifestyle. Personally, I think it's a double-edged sword. It could come off as gay-bashing, it could also make some think, Oh cool, Cheney's daughter is gay, maybe it will make him more compassionate towards homosexuals.

Did you notice how they rarely used their 30 second rebuttals? I think they both were leery of letting the other make a sound bite in that short amount of time that would stick with a listener easier than some of their two minute arguments. I hate that we are that shallow, but it really is true of the average listener. I think this is what keeps them from allowing the kind of debate you're talking about, blike. That and letting their emotions making them seem inflammatory. I'm with you, though, I LOVE seeing a little fire and passion. I think both candidates would be more interesting. It would lend flavor to Kerry (mostly ketchup flavor ) but would probably make Bush's mouth get ahead of his brain again. Imagine five candidates in a round table debate....

Not really, for me. Why would you add in non-workers like children and retirees when talking about unemployment? Boy, speaking of stumps, that last debate (not deserving of it's own thread) was a bit disappointing. It was so obvious that both of them had read focus group results on what buzz words worked with debate watchers. Same old, same old, with very little substance added, imo. I was so bummed that Kerry didn't respond to the stem cell opportunity he was given, and neither candidate responded well to the "What would you tell a worker who had lost his job to outsourcing" question. I thought Bush was going to screw himself into the ground when he started to say it wasn't valid to quote major news sources, but he stopped himself. He had a couple of jokes that fell flatter than a pancake, too ("Gosh, I sure hope it's not the administration!"). I wanted to slap both of them for being so statistical, Kerry especially. He had a real chance to surge ahead if he'd just forged some new ground and stopped quoting the old numbers. I think they both made that same mistake since the debates are really for the undecided voters, not for people who've made up their mind ages ago based on the old rhetoric.

You did fine. But you have to expect a little flack when you take a strong stance. Especially when you mix religion with politics. Are you used to everyone agreeing with you when you talk about religion and politics? Things may be a little different here. You aren't going to let it scare you away, are you?

Um, that wasn't your neighbour's cats....

Good books keep me awake. Bad books are better if you want to sleep. The first 10 pages of any James Michener novel, where he starts the story with how the earth cooled and the continents separated is pretty good for some zzzzzzzs. When would you? A Day in the Life of Sayonara³: 6am-Get up, dress, eat a bowl of rocks 7am-Verbally flay fellow bus riders on the way to work 7:30am-4:30pm-Debase myself analyzing business processes for those who have no business wasting air for breath, much less wasting my enormous intellect on their mostly self-induced problems 4:30pm-5:30pm-Practise kung fu on fellow bus riders who took all day to come up with retorts to my earlier verbal flaying 5:30pm-Blog 6pm-Look for spam at SFN 6:02pm-Destroy spammers 8pm-Upgrade computer 9pm Surf the Web 10pm-Write helpful emails to Tony Blair 11pm-Check for more spam at SFN Midnight-Start new computer project 1am-Open window and scream obscenities at neighbour's cats 2am-Write new biology texts for Cambridge and Oxford 4am-6am-2 hours of REM sleep

Even more than Superman, my two favorite Reeve movies were Somewhere in Time (1980) and especially Deathtrap (1982) with Michael Caine (God, I loved that movie!). Chris, you were a great man. Up, up and away!

Super human soul, Kryptonite found you too soon. Up, up and away!

I love it! Maybe it should be "incapacited" instead of "incapacitated". And maybe it could be Einstein with his hair really wild. Maybe bloodhound could photoshop something up....

How about: "Nothing shocks me anymore--I'm incapacitated!"

As in post #2 from this thread (a joke, not important, different kind of pudding). Definitely not my version of pudding.... Sounds good. And relaxing.

But not right before bedtime, right? That always keeps me awake if I get my heart racing half an hour or less before my head hits the pillow. Tell me about Black Pudding. Would that be good in a tub?

Some from emails friends have sent' date=' some from the web, but most are from memory. Have you ever had someone ask you to tell them a joke? I always draw a blank when this happens. But the minute someone [b']tells[/b] me a joke, I suddenly remember five more. And in telling those five, I remember ten more.... This last one was that way. Someone told me the joke about the wife who told her husband her car wouldn't start because there was water in the carburetor, which was true since the car was in the pool (it's already been posted). While I was being polite and listening, I remembered the joke with the pool full of alligators. It's an oldy and a goody. A warden from the Everglades Fish & Game Dept hears a commotion in the swamp one day and guides his boat over to investigate. Suddenly, he sees a blonde woman, dressed in a high fashion miniskirt and sweater ensemble, shoot up out of the water, wrestling a twelve-foot alligator! In awe, he watches as she drags the flailing creature to shore, throw it down on the ground and pin it on it's backside. The blonde looks at the creature's feet, and with a disgusted look on her face, jumps up and kicks the huge reptile back into the water, complaining, "Oh, poo! That one doesn't have any shoes, either!"