Phi for All

A little boy returning home from school said to his mother, "Mom, what's sex?" His mother, who believed in all the most modern educational theories, gave him a detailed explanation, covering all aspects of the tricky subject. When she had finished, the little lad produced an enrollment form which he had brought home from school and said, "How am I going to get all that into this one little square?"

A new blonde recruit is going through Paratrooper's schooling. His sergeant told them all, "Once you jump you need to open your parachute by pulling the ripcord. If it doesn't open, you have a reserve one, pull the cord on that. The Jeep will wait for you on the ground". So, the blonde guy gets on the plane and when his turn to jump comes, he jumps clear of the plane and pulls the ripcord. It doesn't work so he pulls the cord on his reserve chute. That doesn't work either. "Oh, great!" he says to himself, "I bet the Jeep isn't going to wait for me either!"

Gir, these National Enquirer people are getting too close to our secret alien identities! Bring me the solar-neutrino vortex and aim it at Boca Raton, Florida, extra-wide setting!

Did you do those, Douglas? Those are great! I LOVE jabs at McDonald's, in any form.

Did you cut and paste that from the "How to Avoid the Issues" handbook? Perhaps it was then-Deputy Press Secretary Scott McClellan: If it was him, he should have been fired for such a major "misleading" statement. What's that you say? He was promoted to Press Secretary?! Hmmm. Someone to replace Ari Fleischer, a man who has also been caught telling lies, or, as Douglas prefers, misleading the people of the world as the press spokesman for the President of the United States. Apparently, having a major misleader to speak for him is very important to Mr. Bush.

September holding on by one hand from the cliff as October laughs.

If I can't get a straight, honest answer from you, which is all I asked for, what makes you think all these politicians and strategists you seem to know are going to respond to my question?

First of all, you're asking me to put words in other people's mouths, something you know is wrong and pretty much worthless. Second you told me before: And third, I answered your questions before in post #53. There is a difference between telling a lie and being a liar. So far in this thread I have not called Bush a liar. I said he lied. To repeat myself, insanely expecting a different result, asking other politicians and strategists to call Bush a liar makes it sound like every word out of his mouth is a lie. I never suggested it, and it seems like you are trying to put those words in my mouth to discredit me. I still maintain Bush lied about the IAEC reports, hoping no one would check his facts and believe that Saddam would have nuclear weaponry within six months if we didn't invade Iraq ASAP. The fact that his staff did nothing to correct it, but instead, when caught, referred to an earlier report, which also was a lie, suggests they needed this lie to work very badly. And now I'm asking you again, Douglas, since it's clear Bush was not mistaken (insisted the IAEC had said "six months away" despite ample opportunity to retract), or misled (when caught out he had his staff refer to a different report, which was also bogus), wasn't this simply a lie?

Great job, Gilded! Can you do the "In a parallel universe, I'm kicking your ass right now!" one next? Sayo, that is funny! I can't wait to see the "Progress" one.

How... evasive. Ever considered politics? Imo, your problem here is the difference between telling a lie and being a liar. Asking other politicians and strategists to call Bush a liar makes it sound like every word out of his mouth is a lie. We've ALL told lies, so being a liar is one of the most common conditions there is. The distinction here is that Bush told a lie in order to get backing to go to war, jeapordizing thousands of lives and spending billions of dollars to do so. It's one thing to get faulty intel and quite another to make make up a lie about an enemy's nuclear weapons capability and get your staff to back you on it. Remember, they didn't say he was mistaken, they kept referring to quotes from different IAEC reports that never, ever existed. If you can't at least agree to that point, Douglas, how can any of us take the rest of your arguments seriously? Sidestepping this issue makes it look like no amount of proof can ever persuade you, so why are we wasting time with you?

I liked your idea of the retro-illustration style. The juxtaposition of the old graphic with the new saying is perfect. I vote black/dark shirts, white/light illustrations.

We could blend the two and make it our own, as in, "Getting skinnier as I approach the speed of light!" Brevity is the soul of wit.--William Shakespeare Ooh, ooh, how about, "Gravity is the soul of weight!" ???

This is my favorite so far! If I may, you could shorten it for T-shirts to, "So cool I'm superconductive!"

LMAO! Those are great! Have you sent them in to Letterman?

Thanks for reminding me, MM14. I thought of this one today: "More Neurons, Less Morons!"

Bumblebees CAN fly. *edit* The above is a link to an explanation of the "bumblebee can't fly" myth.

You can board a bus or a boat' date=' but you get into or take a taxi. No. You do not take off in public transportation. The pilot of a plane will take off, not you. Otherwise take off is to remove, as in personal effects like clothes and jewelry. Correct. No. Forget alight, it's archaic and no one uses it, at least in the US.

Correct, as in "Would I wear the pink socks? Anything but." No, it's more like "I would like any other color socks except the pink socks." like flammable and inflammable, these mean about the same thing, "I would like nothing less (more) than to burn those pink socks." Correct You're welcome.

US Federal Debt as of yesterday, $7,348,106,263,348.33.Debt to the penny.

Our lager, which art in barrels hollowed, be thy drink. I will be drunk, drunk as a skunk, at home as in the tavern. Give us this day our foamy head, and forgive us our spillages, as we forgive those who spill against us. And lead us not into incarceration, but deliver us from hangovers. For thine is the beer, the bitters and the lager. Forever and ever, barmen.

You're right about the political crap. Their State Dept would tell our State Dept, "Look, this little слабоумный spouted off nasty about Mother Russia so we've trumped up a charge of public indecency. We're going to hold him in here till his visa expires, then ban him from our country for five years. If you give us any crap about it, we'll change the charges to political espionage and tell the press. Which do you prefer?" The State Dept rep, when he gets around to you, will tell you you shouldn't do indecent things while traveling in foreign countries.

LOL! Great ones, Gilded! "YES, I'm a geek. NO, that's not a slide rule in my pocket!"