Phi for All

To me, it seems that those of you who think homosexuals are unnatural and have "rejected" traditional society, or are not worthy of respect or sympathetic feelings, have locked yourselves into your Towers of Morality and are judging Those Who Are Not Like You as being inferior. Sure, homosexuals could get a lawyer to have a judge issue a court order to be allowed to visit their partner in intensive care but why should they have to go to the extra expense? Your lack of tolerance in this issue shows you harbor very bigoted attitudes, and whether or not you approve of the lifestyle, you are showing that the USA is no longer a land of freedom with respect to individual rights. So what if some gay guy IN A PARADE shows off his buns? Are you jealous, were they great buns? How can you watch a halftime show with girls in thongs and then say it's wrong if a guy's buns hang out? How can you call yourself a freedom-oriented American and NOT grant a homosexual couple the right to a state sanctioned marriage which should make their bond stronger? You used to call the gays promiscuous and now that they want the sanctity of marriage you want to withhold that? Can you honestly tell me what you are afraid of?

"The car won't start," said a wife to her husband. "I think there's water in the carburetor." "How do you know? Women know NOTHING about cars," said the husband scornfully. "You don't even know what the carburetor is." "I'm telling you," repeated the wife, "I'm pretty sure there's water in the carburetor." "We'll see," mocked the husband. "Let me check it out. Where's the car?" She says, "In the swimming pool."

U.S. Presidents Carter, Bush Sr, Bush Jr and Clinton are caught in a tornado and whisked off to OZ. They finally make it to the Emerald City and came before the Great Wizard. "WHAT BRINGS YOU BEFORE THE GREAT WIZARD OF OZ?" Jimmy Carter stepped forward timidly, " I've come for some courage." "NO PROBLEM!" says the Wizard. "WHO IS NEXT?" Up stepped George Bush Sr who says, "I'm told by the American people that I need a heart." "I'VE HEARD IT'S TRUE!" says the Wizard. "CONSIDER IT DONE. WHO COMES NEXT BEFORE THE GREAT AND POWERFUL OZ?"" George Bush Jr steps forward, "Well........., I.......I think I need a brain." "YOU... REALLY... DO. DONE!" says the Wizard. There is a great silence in the hall. Bill Clinton is just standing there, looking around, but doesn't say a word. Irritated, the Wizard finally asks, "WHAT DO YOU WANT?" Clinton asks, "Is Dorothy here?"

There is a Debate section AND a Politics section to this forum. THIS is the Jokes section. Feel free to post ANY political JOKE. But it had better be funny.

Sorry, Newbie. I suggest you go see the film again. Moore never asserted that anybody left on 9/11. There is documentation all over the internet that supports Moore's claim that the bin Laden family and other influential Saudi families were flown to evacuation points to facilitate their exit from the country due to anti-Middle East sentiments at the time. Only Saudi's were extended this privelege. Moore asked the question, "At who's expense?" because it is still not clear who paid for their exodus. Certainly the initial roundup could have been paid for by the US taxpayers through the FBI, though the Saudis probably arranged for their own flights home. They were questioned cursorily by the FBI (their were a lot of them--the bin Laden family is huge), but all were released TO LEAVE THE COUNTRY a few days later. If someone from your family had been responsible for the destruction of the World Trade Center towers do you think the FBI would have let you off so easily? Dale Watson, the FBI's former head of counter-terrorism, said the Saudis "were not subject to serious interviews or interrogations". According to many eye-witness sources, our government seemed much more interested in protecting the Saudis than in finding out their connections to Osama bin Laden. I'd like to move on to another point that really bothers me. I have always had what I consider a pure American work ethic. Perhaps I've overdone it on occasion, but I dislike the very thought of slackers taking advantage of their employers and giving less than top job performance. George W. Bush, by 9/11/01, had already taken more vacation time than any US president in history. He had just gotten back from the longest single presidential vacation in history when this country suffered it's greatest terrorist attack. I would LOVE to hear someone defend Bush on this point.

A teacher in a small Texas town asks her class how many of them are George Bush fans. Not really knowing what a George Bush fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raise their hands except one boy. The teacher asks Billy why he has decided to be different. Billy says, "I'm not a George Bush fan." The teacher says, "Why aren't you a George Bush fan?" Billy says, "I'm a John Kerry fan." The teacher asks why he's a John Kerry fan. The boy says, "Well, my mom's a John Kerry fan and my dad's a John Kerry fan, so I'm a John Kerry fan!" The teacher is kind of angry, because this IS Texas, so she asks, "What if your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?" Billy says, "THAT would make me a George Bush fan."

A man returns to the U.S. from the jungles of Borneo feeling very ill. He's immediately rushed to the hospital to undergo a barrage of extensive tests. The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings. The man answers it and hears, "This is your doctor. We have the results back from your tests and we've found you have an extremely nasty virus, which is highly contagious!" "Oh my gosh," cries the man. "What are you going to do, doctor?" "Well, we're going to put you on a diet of pizza, pancakes, and pita bread." "Will that cure me?" asked the man hopefully. The doctor replied, "Well no, but ... it's the only food we can slide under the door."

I always bit my nails until one day it just meant enough to me to stop. It's like any habit not involving addictive poisons, you kick it when you're tired of it. Until then, don't worry about it. Worrying may be one of the causes. You'll stop when you want to stop, not before.

A young single guy is on a cruise ship, having the time of his life, when the ship slams into an iceberg and begins to sink. Unable to save anyone else and using every last ounce of strength, he swims a few miles through shark-infested waters to a remote island. Reaching the beach, exhausted, he turns his head and sees a woman lying near him, unconscious, barely breathing. He makes his way to her, and with some mouth-to-mouth assistance he manages to get her breathing again. She looks up at him, wide-eyed and grateful and says, "My God, you saved my life!" He suddenly realizes the woman is Keira Knightley! Over the course of a few days, Keira falls madly in love with our man, and they're making passionate love morning, noon and night. One day she notices he's looking kind of glum. "What's the matter, love?" she asks, "We're safe for the time being and I'm in love with you. Is there something wrong? Is there anything I can do?" He says, "Actually, Keira, there is. Would you mind, putting on my shirt?" "Sure," she says, "if it will help." He takes off his shirt and she puts it on. "Now would you put on my pants?" he asks. "Sure, love, if it's really going to make you feel better," she says. "Okay, would you put on my hat now, and draw a little mustache on your face?" he asks. "Whatever you want," she says, and does. Then he says, "Now, would you start walking around the edge of the island?" She starts walking around the perimeter of the island. He sets off in the other direction. They meet up half way around the island a few minutes later. He rushes up to her, grabs her by the shoulders, and says, "Dude! You'll never believe who I'm sleeping with!"

Sorry, but your uncle is a sick, sick man.

I've never been dog-boarding. Is it like snow-boarding? Do you need special equipment made in one of your uncle's labs?

It's a user-title. The more posts you have, the more substance you have.

You ACTUALLY went to his site!?!?! Now you've done it! Your computer is now infected with spyware that this lelandcorey guy is going to use to guide the Mother Ship to your house! RUN! Get out of there while you still can, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!!!

See, I disagree. Given that you're probably going to have to throw overhand rather than underhand (girl or boy) to pitch a plump puppy forty feet away from you (imagine doing this with a bowling ball), there's going to be a great deal of forward momentum. The puppy is like us, mostly water with lungs and stomach like air bladders, so I think you'll get one bounce before Benji settles down to a limp roll. Sarah_Mac, please tell me you'll just take my word for this. I know it seems like the whole family likes the puppy more than you right now, but that will wear off. Wait until he wee-wees on your mom's slippers and let her play chuck-the-puppy.

The puppy has worms? I didn't know that! That's really gross!

People, yeah, but we're talking puppies here. More like, "Yip yip yip, bounce, yip, drip, splat, drip, drip, drip." Kinda.

From three stories up you can't throw a 15# puppy farther than forty feet? Sarah_Mac throws puppies LIKE A GIRL!!! Btw, given the height, the angle and the force involved, I'm sure he'd bounce at least once.

During his sermon one Sunday, the local preacher told his congregation that the entire range of human experience could be found in the Bible. He confidently stated, "If anything can happen to humans, it is described somewhere in the Bible." After the service, a woman came up to the preacher and said, "Reverend, I don't think the Bible mentions anything about Pre-Menstrual Syndrome." The preacher told the woman he was certain he could find a reference to PMS somewhere in scripture. During the following week, he searched diligently, book-by-book, chapter-by-chapter and verse-by-verse. On the following Sunday, the woman came up to him and asked, "Did you find any references to PMS in the Bible?" The preacher smiled, opened his Bible and began to read, "... and Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem."

My opinions: Black Boxes--If they were only to be used to figure out if people are telling the truth in accidents, that would be a good thing. What happens when insurance companies can deny claims if you weren't wearing your seat belt? What if you WERE wearing it and the sensor malfunctioned? This begins to sound like the Patriot Act; erosion of basic human rights. Red light & speeding cameras--These suck but I think they are actually a good idea (I believe they started in Europe). I hate the speed ones because they usually nail me at speeds I have a hard time maintaining (30-40 mph). I wish every major intersection had the red light cameras, I think trying to beat that red light is one of the most dangerous things you can do, especially because there's usually someone who's been waiting through the whole light to turn left. Inevitably some jackass punches it at the last second, in too much of a hurry to wait another sixty seconds. Cameras keep us honest by hitting us in the pocketbook, seemingly the only thing that gets through to most Americans. Radar Jammers--illegal to use in most states, BUT NOT ILLEGAL TO SELL! This always blows me away about our view of capitalism. Every year at 4th of July they set up fireworks stands to sell you fireworks that are illegal to set off. Free enterprise means you can legally sell it to someone who can be fined or jailed for using it. That's whack, man! The police use radar, someone figures a way to jam it. The police spend taxpayer dollars figuring a better radar, someone figures a way to jam that. Did you know it's legal in 49 states to have a radar detector (not a jammer) but not if you put it in a commercial vehicle? Why, because they have a greater need for it? But when you buy one, they don't check to see if you're going to put it in your delivery van. Sorry for the rant, but I think people lose their sense of perspective and compassion when they get behind the wheel of a car. People who would hold a door open for an old lady would run her over in a heartbeat if it meant they didn't have to wait at a red light for another minute.

Like Japanese films, my lips don't move with the words. Really bad dubbing.

For you it could be those flakes that swirl in the inner ear, since looking up requires more of an awkward head-tilt than looking down does. Here's a site for vertigo that may explain some of it. My worst nightmares always involve standing atop a tall pillar of rock with only about a 6' x 6' square surface area. The feeling is that I will get dizzy and will be drawn to the edge where I will fall off. I know it's all in my head but I can't help it. One of George R. R. Martin's Song of Ice & Fire books talks about these prisoner's cells that are high up in the mountains, about 10' square with a floor that slopes towards a hole opening onto a fall of about 200'. Prisoner's go crazy due to sleep deprivation for fear of rolling over and falling through the hole. I can relate to that. Here's another link.

It could be an inner ear kind of thing, like vertigo. I remember hearing about some kind of flakes that can swirl around in the inner ear fluid and set your equilibrium out of balance. I think this happens more after a fall or a blow to the head, though. I think the feeling of being off-balance is augmented by the mind as well. I don't have a fear of heights, but I'm uncomfortable working on a high ladder for very long when my hands are busy. I don't get dizzy but the tension eventually gets to me. I'm OK looking over the ledge of a building (with a guardrail) but I will NOT go to the edge of a cliff to look down. I'm 6' 4", 220#, and I grew up watching the coyote break the edge off of too many cliffs chasing the roadrunner. Looking up doesn't bother me at all.