Phi for All

Basketball is a little off-topic, Dave.

Second that! Especially unnatural, augmented, super-sized, Pamela Anderson-type goofy boobs that act as flotation devices in emergency situations. There's nothing more laughable to me than a silicone-silly in high-heels and a microskirt looking poised between tipsy and tip-over who obviously thinks she looks hot! Throw the dumb blonde routine in for good measure and I've got a belly-laugh going that will last till morning.

Ah, but if we're fantasizing that the body begins to rejuvenate itself after fifty years, why not the brain as well? This way the memories and experiences are retained and the reflexes sharpen as you need them in a body that's becoming ever more youthful.

Why? The whole idea is you have all your wisdom and experience in a body that can take advantage of it.

I saw her in The Crow:Salvation and Drop Dead Gorgeous before I saw her in Spiderman. Actually it's the lack of sluttiness that's the turn on for me. She didn't take her clothes off; she was in the rain with her blouse stuck to her body. Much sexier than if she'd been completely nude. Like Helen Hunt in As Good As It Gets, where she is trying not to be sexy and attracted to Jack Nicholson but her T-shirt is molded to her body by the rain. Fantastic juxtaposition!

So you think a casino would be good? I guess I read the question more as, "Name some of the jobs at which you can make a lot of money." If this is a contest, then I'll say CEO of Microsoft/Pfizer, a new mega-merger I just staged (nicknamed Bug 'em & Drug 'em).

Spiderman was the only comic book I was even mildly interested in, so I'll probably go see S2. I loved the first one for many reasons (including Kirsten Dunst + wet blouse = say no more). Filmmakers spend so much money on movies these days (you've seen the list of credits--WTF?!?!) that they've become afraid of testing new ground. So they rely on old stories, remakes and real life comics flicks so they minimize the chance of failure. I've been hoping the success of Lord of the Rings would spur others into doing trilogies and filming them all at once to save money. There are some great trilogy stories out there in the fantasy and sci-fi genres. For that matter, they should take some great single novels and do them in three movies so they get the treatment they deserve.

Haven't seen the movie, but there's an absolutely top-notch thriller book called Shibumi by Trevanian where this assassin, because of prolonged solitary confinement, has honed an almost psychic ability to know when people are concentrating on him. It is particularly strong just before someone pulls a trigger or presses the shutter release on a camera. Whenever someone tries to shoot him or take his picture, he jerks away just enough to mess up the shot or blur the photo. Very handy for an international assassin. Like spidey-sense.

Sales usually has the most potential if you're willing to work hard. Get a good commission rate with no cap on earnings and YOU set your $ by selling more. Be wary of management jealousy. Or make friends at college with someone in marketing, someone in business administration and someone in engineering, then invent something mega-needful and start your own company.

As if every lesbian couple is simply aching for a man to make them a threesome...

Strange, isn't it? You would think hetero men would hate lesbians for competing with us for the female's attention. Two guys together means less opposition in the race for the women, but the homo males are the ones who take the heat from hetero males. How strange. How weird. How queer.

I hope you read posts 48, 52-54. There is no smiley available for being sardonic, sarcastic, or just plain tongue in cheek.

Yes, bloodhound. My wife and I hope someday you are comfortable enough with your own sexuality to leave the homosexuals alone. They're not after you, I promise. They hardly even talk about you anymore.

I think this is what I was getting at. Take away the fear of force, the fear of being thought of as abberant, and the fear of judgement and you might actually be flattered by the offer. George Carlin used to do a bit on whether or not homophobia was natural as opposed to normal. Put yourself in a small, totally dark room, you're there with another person, you're both naked and embracing. You're rubbing them, they're rubbing you, it feels great. Suddenly the lights come on and you see that you're with a person of the same sex, you're conditioned to go, "Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!" But it felt good. I realize you'd be able to feel which sex a person was in this situation, but the idea is to focus on the physical instead of the mental and you find it's all stimulus/response.

You're afraid of spiders? You're so gay. I do see the flawed logic. The other night I heard a comedian that made me laugh. He said, "If it weren't for the sex, I could be gay. Other than that, it's just hanging out with your buddies."

Save your life

Part of the reason why we act so crazy in the US is because of the mixed messages we keep getting. Secretary of Homeland Security says, "Duct tape up your windows and make sure you can reach every member of your family at a moments notice!", then the President says, "Don't worry, we have everything under control, be alert but don't let it stop you from going out there and spending your money!" The alert level is Yellow. No, it's Orange! No it's Yellow! No, it's Orange! It sure won't go to Blue or Green before November....

A man goes to a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is lathering him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. "I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum." The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever had. After a few strokes the client asks in garbled speech, "What if I swallow it?" "Happens all the time," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."

When you have lots of weapons to sell, peace, stability and tranquility are NOT good marketing tools.

A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded, "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded & dirty and full of Italians. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?" "We're taking TWA," was the reply. "We got a great rate!" "TWA?" exclaimed the barber. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?" "We'll be at the downtown International Marriott," said the man "That dump! That's the worst hotel in the city. The rooms are small, the service is surly and they're overpriced. So, whatcha doing when you get there?" "We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope." "That's rich," laughed the barber. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it." A month later, the man again came in for his regular haircut. The barber asked him about his trip to Rome. "It was wonderful," explained the man, "not only were we on time in one of TWA's brand new planes, but it was overbooked and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a beautiful 25-year-old stewardess who waited on us hand and foot. And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $25 million remodeling job and now it's the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us the presidential suite at no extra charge!" "Well," muttered the barber, "I know you didn't get to see the pope." "Actually," said the man, "we were quite lucky, for as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the pope likes to personally meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait the pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later the pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down as he spoke a few words to me." "Really?" asked the Barber. "What'd he say?" He said, "Where'd you get the lousy haircut?"

No problem, blike. And don't get me wrong, I love this country. I can't imagine a better place for me to live with my eccentric ideas.

I guess my body is going to be my soul's grave.

OK, J'Dona's list of 0-G side-effects took the luster off that idea (not your fault, J). I can be dizzy, clumsy and flatulent on my own, thanks. Immortality would suck anyway unless you could stay youthful forever. How about this instead: you age until about fifty, then go backwards, regaining your youth and vitality, until you peak out at the beginnings of full maturity, around 19 or 20. You'd have the wisdom of an 80-year-old and the body of youth, the best of both worlds. Then you just have to watch out for disease, accidents & stupidity.

I don't know, have to be some big-ass wings to get a person off the ground by themselves. And don't forget the zhuam factor: He thinks it's stupid so it must be. I've stopped watching sci-fi movies altogether. It's stupid to dream. We'll never be anything other than what we are right now.