bornagainmom

Hi, This is a blanket reply to those of you who replied to my post. First, thanks for taking the time to reply. My thoughts on the "deepthroating" and "masturbating well beyond any normal level of age-appropriate sexual exploration" comments made by the child's caregiver: The caregiver is placing WAY, WAY, too much sexual connotation on the child's actions. Babies, toddlers, children, adolescents, human beings in general, once they find "that button" keep "pushing" it for the pleasurable feelings it produces. Only adults with limited knowledge into child development place sexual connotations to these actions in infants, toddlers, even young children. It is with nurturing that children learn that "yes, that feels good, but we don't do this in public, around other people . . . there is a time and a place for everything". I think the caregiver's comments raise real concerns into her abilitiy to be a quality substitute parent. My opinion is that she needs some therapeutic intervention. Second: I have been engaged in professional therapeutic counseling, (off and on but more extensively over the last three years) for at least 30 years. Why, well because I'm human and have stepped in "it" a number of times, but rather than lay the blame on (1) my parents; (2) my spouse; (3) society; (4) the lack of money in my life; (5) multiple moves as a child; (6) my religion; (7) my dog; (8) my third grade teacher; (9) the hole in the ozone; (10) the politics du jour, I have tried to learn from the experiences and move on. I'm real glad I've done all the therapy and reading and other research, though, because, I don't write things said or done off like I used to. I at least recognize "red flags" for what they are . . . and the comments made by this caregiver were, in my amature estimation, big red flags. Thanks for the back up. Bornagainmom Thanks for the links, book titles, authors, etc. I'll look into them.

Why would a 2.5 yr old child be sticking long objects such as straws down her throat. The person describing this situation to me said she believes that there is a sexual connotation to this. She used the word "deepthroating". I've seen toddlers stick something into their mouth and misjudge how far they are sticking it in and gag on the object, but I never got the impression that there was anything sexual about it. The child in question is in a foster home because of parental abuse and neglect and is suffering from serious speech and developmental delays, caused no doubt, by the trauma of being removed from its parents and placed with strangers and the abuse which precipitated the removal. The other thing this child does is masturbate where its diapers are changed and the foster mom thinks it is well beyond any normal level of age-appropriate sexual exploration. This all seems to be pretty extreme to me, not the toddler's actions, but the descriptions of what's going on. Any thoughts on this? bornagainmom (bornagain because I'm raising my grandchildren:doh: )