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a man is at a bar. he takes a shot and jumps out the window. a second later he comes up the stairs unharmed. he takes two shots and does it gain. then three. the man next to decides to give it a go. he takes a shot and jumps out the window. the bartender gets on the phone and says, "we need an ambulance; superman is screwin' with people agian."

here is part of an actual e-mail i recieved:

an army general, navy admiral, and air force general were standing around talking about which branch takes more testicular fortitude. the army general tells a private, "private, stop that tank with your body" the private says, "yes sir." he dies. the general says, "that took balls" the admiral tells a seaman, "seaman, stop that ship with your body" the seaman says, "yes sir." he dies. the admiral said, "that took balls" the air force general tells an airman, "airman, stop that jet with your body" the airman says, "hell no, sir." the general says, "now THAT took balls"

A bartender walks up to a man at a bar. He says "You'll have to leave. You look like hitler, and that scares some people." The man says "I am Hitler." The bartender says "You can stay, but you have to sit in back." Hitler says "When you're not busy, come back here and talk to me." The bartender has a little free time, so he decides to talk to Hitler. Hitler says "I did it all wrong last time. This time it will be different." The bartender says "How?" Hitler said "This time, I'll kill 6 million Jews and one pizza guy." The bartender asks "Why the pizza guy?" Hitler says "See, I told you no one cared about the Jews!"

A hit man, Arti, was hired by a man to kill his wife for a dollar. He told Arti that his wife will be shopping at Kroger's the next day. The next day, Arti goes to Kroger's and chokes the man's wife to death. A woman saw it, so he choked her too. On his way out of the store he was arrested. The next day, the newspaper headlines said "Arti chokes two for a dollar at Kroger's."

Q: Why is it so hard to solve redneck murders? A: The DNA is all the same and there are no dental records.

"a lot", not "allot." it would be correct if you said "do you allot much time to come up with those?".

that is actually pretty much how i got it. it should be on a thread somewhere. http://www.scienceforums.net/forums/showthread.php?t=1263&page=4 broadband to my coffin, how did u know?

sounds like him

Charlie was a Chemist, but Charlie is no more. What Charlie thought was H2O was H2SO4.

haha, r u a sophist?

when I heard it, it was on a plane

The square root of negative five walks up to the cute number eight and asks her out. What does she say? "get real"