Mind games make life hell, man.
Lemme tell you a little bit about my own relationship, the more you know about others, the more insight you'll have into your own.
My first true girlfriend, whom I was crazy in love with, was my senior year of high school. I asked her to a Cowboys game, she went. I kissed her on her doorstep afterwards, and things went on from there. Typical senior romance, a little too much fun, and 7 months after graduation we have a baby girl.
The pregnancy was hard on both of us. Our relationship was nearly dead by the time our daughter was 3 months old. I came to a crucial point in my life where I had to leave Dallas, as I felt I could barely support myself on my own, and our relationship was so far-gone that it wouldn't have mattered anyhow.
So I was 250 miles away, for 5 years. Missing my daughter the entire time. Through a couple failed attempts to reconcile, through a court battle for my parental rights. I finally gave up. I withdrew from the battle. And I AIM'ed her. One of her friends answered the AIM, and we started chatting a bit, I told her who I was, why I messaged my ex. Her profile made me think that she was still dwelling on the past. After a few days of chatting with her friend, (my ex was fixing her computer, so they had traded), I finally got to chat with my ex. She seemed to have changed... a lot. She had matured. She was making good decisions for our daughter, and she was much more in control of her emotions.
She came to town to finalize the court battle. I had to sign away my parental rights. We went out for coffee, she showed me pictures of her and our daughter, we chatted, and despite what had happened for the last 5 years, I respected her more and more by the hour. I signed the papers, and we went to a movie.
I was falling back in love with her... or had I never fallen out? She felt the same, the kissing, hugging, and chatting before I returned home for the night proved that. Things were moving faster than we could comprehend, and something was pulling us together again.
This was only 4 months ago. Since then I've visited her in Dallas, am going up again this weekend, and am moving there permanently in a few weeks. This time, it'll be better, and I will finally be the father I should have always been.
Things you should learn from my story?
1) No matter what has happened in the past, if 2 people want something enough, there is always a future.
2) People grow up, and people do change.
PS. If your girl is off dancing with someone else, and tells you to go have fun, what she means is she's having more fun with that guy in front of her than she'd have with you. Especially if she shrugs off your concerns. Forget about her, and find someone else. If she's confused, and you aren't, you'll just have a lot of pain until she figures herself out.