Coral Rhedd

Here is the definition of physical child abuse according to the American Academy of Pediatrics: http://pediatrics.about.com/od/childabuse/a/05_abuse_types.htm It seems to me that their standard is whether the action result in harm. But I can assure you all that if a child protection investigator finds that a parent has punished in such a way as to cause bruises, wound, fractures, or scars that child may be removed from parental custody. Now that you all have a definition perhaps you can also have more clarity. More light, less heat.

The nice thing about the internet is that I can enjoy hoping you think I am better looking than I am. Yes but do men truly understand what they are? I won't go looking for a link but I remember reading about a recent study suggesting that men believe women are attacted to guy with about 30 more pounds of muscle than women in fact find appealing. This may explain why Arnie, the gov of CA has had to resort to groping people. What is it you think women are really looking for? Now this is the serious answer: I don't think women consciously know they are violent brutes in the first place. Of course a woman wants a man who makes her feel safe. So why do some many women often choose men who are not safe at all? The cultural image of what a man is will mislead her. I think if women could ignore some of the romantic/cultural messages they receive they would make wiser choices. I actually wonder if the media and advertising business try to tap into some pretty primal stuff in order to sell their products. Take the stereotypical tough guy who settles matters with his fists and is often the hero of movies. An intelligent woman would question if a man is so quick to solve problems with aggression might he solve domestic disagreements the same way? Instead, many women see these tough guys as attractive. They can fight off cougars after all. But here is another problem: Violent dangerous men don't always advertise this. Instead with women, they behave just as seductively as any other guy. Would they have any reason to let a woman know early on that not having dinner on the table at a certain time will result in blows? Hardly. Too often a woman is too deep into a relationship before she can put the clues together. Women tend to be stayers, especially if they have children. They stay even when they should leave.

Why give up Hoho? The solution is simple: Definition of discipline - Definition of child abuse-

If anyone encounters a mountain lion and the mountain lion is hungry or in a bad mood, I can assure him that upper body strength will probably do him no good. Even if the mountain lion weighed less than the man, the mountain lion's bulk, using his weight compared to his height, the fact that he runs -- very swiftly on four legs, and that he has a highly-developed musculature, would make that man a meal. I have not seen a society with even a "relative" semblence of equality, so it's hard to say. Callipygous, multitasking is something everyone can do to some extent. This is something I learned when I was a job coach. But been good at multitasking has to do with other things besides sex. For instance, I am ADD, overfocused type; without medication, I cannot multitask worth a shit. While a man who is ADHD will no doubt multitask far better than I. The fact that some men are prone to violence is hardly a fact to be celebrated. Pit bulls are prone to violence as well, but good breeding and appropriate handling usually eliminate the problem. If you had met some of the women I have, you would have some doubts. Despite differences between men and women, individual differences are far more telling. The most nurturing creature I ever met was a male Border Collie. And he couldn't work sheep worth a damn, but he could safeguard every baby chick on the ranch from snakes and hawks. On the other hand, we had to send a female German Shepherd to town because, while she could work sheep and move cattle, she decided that the neighbors sheep were tasty. Don't ask me how she knew boundary lines, for she never killed one of our own. Yes, nature can be wasteful. Let's bring this back to pedophilia shall we. Will he have the same urge to have sex with his daughter? Apparently not quite well enough -- else a good man is hard to find. However women also cheat. Ever hear of guns? Not any more.

Since you can't bothered with references, to what point would I open a thread about sexism -- of which you seem to approve? We already have a thread where no one can seem to differientiate child abuse from discipline. The fact that you think sexism is a good thing does not bode well for intelligent discourse.

Ku, as awkward as it may be, I think you need to define what you mean when you say pornography. Else how can we agree or disagree?

Interesting POV. Let's try it this way. If I were to say: "Just a racist opinion of mine which doesn't sit at all well with black people, however true it is. Btw racism is justified in alot of cases, you cannot tell me white and black are not different." . . . would you find anything wrong with that statement? Is this folk wisdom? May I ask if you have any scientific studies on this. I am sure body language saying "or I'll kill you!" is bound to be effective. If you know any fathers like this be sure and offer them my congratulations on having found an effective parenting tool for striking fear into their children. Perhaps they beat their chest as well???? Interesting. Why does my would-be alpha German Shepherd obey me instantly on most commands? Could it be he has forgotten I am female? Last question: And your point about pedophiles was . . .?

John, given YT's post #37, I do not feel that I have permission to proceed with this discussion -- especially since he has not answered my post #38, where I have asked some questions. I feel he has personalized this discussion and I will not proceed until he clarifies his comments about my "hurt and pain." I am puzzled as to why someone would want to remove all emotion from a discussion -- as if emotion were some sort of disease we should rid ourselves of -- and then focus on personal "emotional" issues he is only speculating about to undermine another's position. Isn't that making a judgment without evidence. But he is a moderator after all. So I will leave it.

Indeed.

Not only "the personal is the political;" everything is political. I know they don't always try too hard, but it would be difficult to espouse no viewpoint at all.

As long as your discipline does not harm their minds, bodies, or spirits, sounds like a plan. Will you know where that line is?

When you have children, will you discipline them in the same manner that your parents disciplined you?

I believe the nonprofit status of churches and other foundations are the same. I think they all file 501©3s but I am not a tax expert.

Interesting. Did they decide that it was inappropriate to hit a teenager or was there some other reason they stopped.

And the child. It does no good to send an introverted, solitary child to her room.

Not at all. That was not my motive at all. Do you feel that your parents discipline you correctly?

Okay. But then you need to define discipline. Most parents do define and develop their own methods. Usually pretty effective. But if a parent is exacting discipline that leaves marks or bruises one hour after the punishment, where I live, that's called child abuse.

John, I have the shopping fit solution but it involves some ignoring. My daughter only did this once. I said: "Okay. I see you want to throw a hissy, but I need to shop, so bye!" Off I went -- not too far of course -- I had her in sight the whole time but she thought I was gone. (She was never any good at hide and seek.) She calmed down once her audience (me) was gone. I gave her a little more time and went back and got her, saying, "Everytime you do this, you do it alone." Never had another public hissy fit from her.

Nevermore, could it be possible that hoho is trying to find out "what is abuse" rather than truly being a proponent of it? Hoho, do you mind if I ask if you are a teenager? Well there, I did it. Hope you don't mind.

Thanks Exordium. Really interesting reading. It makes me wonder. I have a vocational client who has enviromental senstivities. She claims the EMFs from computers cause nervous tension and headaches. Can this be true? Don't lots of things have EMFs and why would they hurt people in some instances and be good in others? Or am I all mixed up?

Weight gain. And less often, amotivational syndrome, suicidal ideation, memory problems.

This is the strangest topic. The word abuse is in all ways negative. By definition, it is bad. Even if you are proponent of strong discipline, you wouldn't want to abuse your child. Did you perhaps mean to use the word spank, hoho? Not strong enough? Batter? How about bludgeon? Electrocute? Burn with cigarettes? Maybe you should define your terms. What constitutes child abuse? What constitutes obedience. I actually thought budullewraagh's opinion was excellent considering the raw material. Some parents teach their children to steal. Should they be obeyed?