Am I going nuts ? Existing...

[Guest Neutronix]

Well, hello everyone, Im new to the forum so better get that out the way first Must say that im overwhelmed by the numerous categories, and am thinking there's a real wealth of information here, thus I cant wait to meet the community...

 

I didnt really get here by chance mind, Ive been needing a place to discuss just generally, everything, especially science orientated problems. Especially the last few days.

 

See im having a genuine problem having faith in my own existence.

 

Now its not one of those completely insane feelings, Nor am I sitting around in corners despairing over it, but it is really bothering me. The thoughts I am currently having are very 'the matrix' style (im not a massive fan of the movie, nor do I believe in that particular plot, it just seems the best way to describe it), however as opposed to entire simulations of a world, that the entire world may only exist as one blip or function of some form of phenominal processing equiptment. Just the 'process' part of an I/O system. (I Tend to think in electronics and computing terms a lot because they're my main interests)

 

Time is harder to hold on to, because In 'reality' the entire universe could just have been simulated in a split second, imagine it as sort of an 'bubble' inside a silicon chip, encased, trapped even, within. I was thinking hard about it yesterday with particle physics, the fact that it all does run on some sort of system, it just all seems too alike to worrying thoughts I've had before* but not the knowledge to give a proper 'paranoid theory' to.

 

(I must note that I have just begun learning of the mechanics of quarks and particles, and while i knew they were there before, actually seeing the maths performed, calculating them, its just... scary, frankly, and retrospectivally I wish that I had never learned of it.)

 

I have also read into the way your mind works a lot lately (or what we know of it) and with my background I do still see it , fundamentally as some form of processor so this is also about 'oh christ, what if ive damaged my mind' because there is just no telling the weirdness that could go on if your not 'wired up' correctly...

 

I just hate the way everything I look at I can almost imagine the gaps and empty spaces, just calculations recurring over, billions of them.

 

I can feel it terribly because its not something that will end, Im totally trapped and it feels awful, thinking about it now is making me feel sick because I cant 'get out'. Its like being in a VR ride thats making you really nauseous and scared.

 

What I really want is just some words of advice or if possible comfort, because I do feel like im going insane, and its not nice at all. This has only really gotten bad in the past 2 days. Gotta say it was a VERY bad Idea to watch The Butterfly Effect last night...

 

Apologies for my awful ability to convey my message here, I usually dont have any trouble with it, its just I am having a lot of trouble thinking this through in a way I can write, my minds preoccupied with the feeling Im not inside my own head, rather just in an illusion I am. I will have to come back and sit down and try to tell you all another way. Please bear with me

 

*I have spent a lot of time thinking about existence and the mind, and these two have seemed to have made me up a rather evil cocktail to think through this time.

 

Any help appreciated !

[YT2095]

it sounds like the onset of mild paranoia, probably brought about by excessive introspection.

 

you should get out more, take up a few less cerebral hobbies

[Guest Neutronix]

It might be because Im ill, I am an extremly social person and I havent seen any of my good mates in about 5 days. A huge time for me because I spend 75% of my awake hours in the company of freinds and being ill has confined me to solitude, and also just being unwell is making me feel more 'out of my body' than usual.

 

I am also very active, I love to go out and run and do it almost daily. I get over an hour of aerobic exercise daily minimum, and Ive been missing out on that too really.

 

I think and am hoping it is just my mind, my illness, because I can fix it. Its just the empty feeling. I need to go and talk with people about it or something, help get thier viewpoints.

 

Maybe I am overworking my mind at the moment, Ive had a lot to think about recently. Thinking about I am showing all the signs of paranoia, and even mainly believe it is just my head. Its just not very nice being in here at the moment.

 

Ty for posting . If anyone wants to give me thier view on existance, how it intergrates with physics, faith, etc, that'd be great. I think I just need to look at it from another viewpoint for a while. Apologies for my spelling, I just cant concentrate well at the moment.

[YT2095]

well you`re not actualy wrong about the Huge emptyness between particles, infact most of matter is empty space.

 

I don`t think there`s "Calculations" taking place, but Laws are certainly being obeyed

[Guest Neutronix]

Feeling a lot better to have wrote about it really. Had a hot shower aswell lol, cleared my head up (got rather evil flu atm) and feeling a lot more 'connected' to the planet at the moment.

 

*smiles*

 

Yes... spose the stuff is actually there, just obeying rules. Thats kinda cool...

 

Cheers .

 

Gonna go out and see people, see how it goes...

[coquina]

Feeling a lot better to have wrote about it really. Had a hot shower aswell lol' date=' cleared my head up (got rather evil flu atm) and feeling a lot more 'connected' to the planet at the moment.

 

*smiles*

 

Yes... spose the stuff is actually there, just obeying rules. Thats kinda cool...

 

Cheers .

 

Gonna go out and see people, see how it goes...[/quote']

 

Glad you're feeling better. The flu can make you feel really spacy, as can the sudden lack of exercise. Your body creates endorphins, like a natural morphine, when you run. Maybe you were in withdrawel.

[Dak]

It might be because Im ill, I am an extremly social person and I havent seen any of my good mates in about 5 days.

yeah, i go a tad insane when im forsed to spend any amount of time on my own. jus phone your mates and demand their presance, thats what theyre for .

[j_p]

If you still need words of comfort ...

 

Your concerns about the actual reality of you don't matter; you still need to get up, take a shower, go to class, and pick up cream on the way home.

For daily life, experience is reality. Am I being clear?

 

It sounds to me like you were standing on the brink of an enlightenment and got [quite naturally and sensibly] scared. You were viewing the entire universe across all time; of course that is a bit rough on your ego. Next time this happens, relax and see where it takes you.

 

Here's an analogy: if you fell out of a plane, you would be terrified; if you are sky-diving, the same event is exhilarating. Just remember, you do have a parachute.

 

AHC: EGO: 1. The self, especially as distinct from the world and other selves. 2. In psychoanalysis, the division of the psyche that is conscious, most immediately controls thought and behavior, and is most in touch with external reality. [emphasis mine]

[Guest Neutronix]

It sounds to me like you were standing on the brink of an enlightenment and got [quite naturally and sensibly'] scared. You were viewing the entire universe across all time; of course that is a bit rough on your ego. Next time this happens, relax and see where it takes you.

 

That is so right, that is the sort of feelings and thoughts ive had recently, I like the analogy, im going to try and remember that .

 

Have seen more people and talked with them about it. Felt better, seems a lot of them have actually experienced similar sorts of feelings at one time or another, have most people experienced it ? i.e. would you say its just part of your mind maturing, to ask all these questions at one point.

 

Its fascinating but feels very lonely. The whole sort of idea that everyone around me doesnt have to be real... its a cage with no bars sort of thing. Im trying to look at it like its a cool game to be played, and just try and let go of the paranoia because the problem will probably disintegrate.

 

A good suggestion a mate gave me when we talked was that I only contemplate that I dont exist because the way I see 'existing' is probably different to how it really is. just because ive found that I cant or no longer believe I exist in one way, in reality I may exist in another, maybe only existing by not existing, or other paradox type suggestions like that.

 

Thats more comforting, the fact I just didnt understand existing. Which I spose is true.

[j_p]

Now that you are feeling grounded again [you are, aren't you?] I have to tell you that your first post was one of the funniest things I have ever read.

 

A friend of mine has been forced into a similiar expansion recently, and is recommending "What the [bleep] do we know?" to me; I haven't seen it yet. Maybe you should check it out after exams, if you haven't already.

 

BTW, severely disrupted sleep patterns can lead to temporary "psychosis"; that's why some militaries use it during training, to break down the ego and sense of reality and then redefine them within the framework of the military. So, get more sleep and eat your vegetables.

 

Take care.

[reverse]

Glad you are feeling better.

Hey... if you go nuts another time, will you let me know.

I need to ask some questions about hyper spheres.

I need an access point into a place where reason is powerless.

[Guest MyPlasticBox]

Method of deployment of military style mind control on civilians

 

Familiar voices live or channeled in over a network and or prerecorded audio. This could also be the case in voice recognition sofware compiled to actually interact with your responses. In the case that your thoughts are being neurometrically, biometrically recorded in conjunction with a voice recognition software. You would prerecord the individuals voice from conversations(phone conversations, any recording devices) and apply it the the monitored thought process. When combined you would actually think that you are having an actual live conversation with the individual whom you have called on the phone or in a live chat. Monitoring your thoughts while watching TV,reading the paper, over hearing conversations, then monitored and recorded or when in any situation. Then the technology applied would almost give you any response required to actually make you believe that you are conversing with that individual and make another believe that you are actually experiencing that thought.

 

This process in conjunction with the recolection of a thought brought on by a forced method of recall such as acurately placed Audio sounds from TV or radio or music. Scent and reinforced by high pitched noises or beep or bells or knocks consistently on or after an event heard, seen or viewed or from a scent. It Would in fact implant these thoughts and triggers in your brain. You would actually think or believe what ever the message that was being conveed. Military or scientific mind control. I would believe that this could not be such new technology. If so the use of this technology is very fragile and should be handled with care. if it were to be used for purposes as in advertising, which I believe is only one of the methods of deployment and or on individuals to manipulate the mind to control people to obey or and be lured into a company's choice of product and or even worse. Such as possible terrorism. This is a great concern in our world! Should this technology fall into the wrong hands. What will become of our world.

 

Possible technology involved in this Biometrics, NeuroMetricChips, of such. Being illegally implanted into individuals. Then tracked and or as in tracking whales, each of us exert MHz, we have a unique energy signature. This monitoring technique used in conjunction with reinforced forced thoughts as in the above details. Some of the links will provide an area for reseach for anyone interested. The use is being exploited.

 

With the right Neurologists and Scientists this can be proven.

 

This leaves open the most invasive form of intrusion into ones life without consent. Then the monitored material distributed by way of verbal, internet, private groups and other sources. This would place you in a comprimising situation. Depending on the information the parties involved are trying to convey. The means that they could use to draw they're own picture and the ramifications from that! What if all that data had been leaked out to your community or the world.The Human race as we know would or has lost all its basic rights. Whom, Where, Why and How.

 

On a more personal note. All that said. Believe in yourself and never give up, but know when to take a step back. Live life! And Never be afraid to Dream.

 

The World has a lot to offer if we treat it with the right respect that it truly deserves. The same applies to all of us.

 

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[Guest Neutronix]

Im feeling more... real... again, but not totally. I can see how strange it is, and Its gotten much better than It was, though I am still thinking about it lightly (more the fact it was so strange, and that I havent stopped really feeling 'surreal', though the paranoia aspect has closed in most ways)

 

Just need to get things back in perspective I think,

 

Cheers guys