Is watching too much porn bad for you? (split from, "Question about arousal")

[Raider5678]

Does anyone know how a straight male does not have any arousal at a strip club, while viewing a pornographic video does?

Perhaps you watch too much porn.

Watching porn decreases your sensitivity to a social sex life, making the videos more appealing then actually developing a relationship with someone, even if it's just a one night stand.

My recommendation would be to stop using porn for 3 months, then see if it turns you on again to go back to the strip club.

Also, this only applies if this continually happens.

If it was a one time thing, most probably your sex drive wasn't at full power, or your hormones were particularly low at the time. This is common, and nothing to worry about.

 

On top of that, I must say I don't recommend going to strip clubs nor watching porn.

As you said, your wife may find out.

And if you don't have a wife, I'd suggest not doing either of them so maybe you might find someone.

Mean while, masturbation without the use of porn is healthier on the mind. And while I don't particularly approve of masturbation either, I can't find significant evidence that it is harmful. So it's probably just a religious point of view.

 

Porn is controlling. Stop doing it now, don't wait. You'll be addicted before you know it, and it's hard to stop. Believe me. But once you do stop, you'll realize how stupid it was to do it.

[koti]

Perhaps you watch too much porn.

Watching porn decreases your sensitivity to a social sex life, making the videos more appealing then actually developing a relationship with someone, even if it's just a one night stand.

My recommendation would be to stop using porn for 3 months, then see if it turns you on again to go back to the strip club.

Also, this only applies if this continually happens.

If it was a one time thing, most probably your sex drive wasn't at full power, or your hormones were particularly low at the time. This is common, and nothing to worry about.

 

On top of that, I must say I don't recommend going to strip clubs nor watching porn.

As you said, your wife may find out.

And if you don't have a wife, I'd suggest not doing either of them so maybe you might find someone.

Mean while, masturbation without the use of porn is healthier on the mind. And while I don't particularly approve of masturbation either, I can't find significant evidence that it is harmful. So it's probably just a religious point of view.

 

Porn is controlling. Stop doing it now, don't wait. You'll be addicted before you know it, and it's hard to stop. Believe me. But once you do stop, you'll realize how stupid it was to do it.

 

What if I watch porn with my wife? Is it still controlling and bad for us and we should stop doing it to realize how stupid it was to do ?

[Raider5678]

 

What if I watch porn with my wife? Is it still controlling and bad for us and we should stop doing it to realize how stupid it was to do ?

Typically, porn is watched alone. If you watch it with your wife(which seems odd, but hey. Do what you want.) then the social aspect is inserted and it doesn't matter.

The studies done on porn are usually for if you watch it alone.

Look them up.

[koti]

...If you watch it with your wife(which seems odd, but hey. Do what you want.)...

 

I'm convinced that there are far more odd things than watching porn with your partner. I'm also convinced that anything to do with sexuality which is done with consent of all parties involved is not odd at all.

[zapatos]

I'm also unsure what is "odd" about watching porn with your partner. Sounds like personal bias on the part of Raider.

[StringJunky]

I'm also unsure what is "odd" about watching porn with your partner. Sounds like personal bias on the part of Raider.

Let's not forget, he's only 14, so his judgements/assessments are based from that perspective.

[Raider5678]

 

I'm convinced that there are far more odd things than watching porn with your partner. I'm also convinced that anything to do with sexuality which is done with consent of all parties involved is not odd at all.

If the consent of all parties involved is given, I suppose anything goes.

And while I agree, there are things that are odder then watching porn with a partner, I don't particularly see the appeal in that.

As Zapatos said, personal bias.

Some people find cutting off their genitals a huge turn on, I'm sure you'd agree that that's personal opinion.

But, given that it's not what the majority find appealing, "odd" which in this context means different, could be coined.

Now I'm not familiar with how common watching porn with a partner is, but I'd say if it's below 1% you could coin the term odd.

[DrP]

That's a new one to me - I've never heard of genital mutilation as a sexual activity. It is VERY different to watching porn.

 

Why shouldn't a lonely man (or woman) who is not very good at getting sexual partners (for whatever reason, social awkwardness, disfigured or ugly face etc) sit on his own for decades without feasting his (or her) eyes on a hot young body in the throws of orgasmic pleasure? Some people get a lot of joy from watching it (on their own or with a partner). Why try to make them feel ashamed by spouting that it is wrong? I am sure they would prefer the real thing.... but it just ain't happening for some people and they take what they can get their eyes on. ;-)

[Raider5678]

I know this is a Christian article, therefore biased, but ignoring the one time where they say it's wrong because it's not God's plan, it does offer sound science on the physchological effects of porn. It also has 2 videos about studies done on porn which are not Christian.

https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/9-things-you-should-know-about-pornography-and-the-brain

 

I'm not trying to turn this into a relgious debate. Just saying porn does have side effects, including higher risk of depression, low motivation, concentration problems, social anxiety, and erectile dysfunction.

I'll admit, I used to do porn. I experienced 4/5 of these problems, and once I quit I had a period of time with erectile dysfunction.

But once I did quit I could focus more on school, I had a higher self esteem, I was no longer depressed, and I actually started experimenting in the social side of life. On top of that, I avoided getting involved in any relationship while I was doing porn simply because I couldn't do both and not feel like shit. Now I'm happily in one, and I don't feel like shit.

 

Maybe it was a coincidence and my depression just happened to go away on it's own, but I'm not gonna bother testing it.

[zapatos]

If the consent of all parties involved is given, I suppose anything goes.

And while I agree, there are things that are odder then watching porn with a partner, I don't particularly see the appeal in that.

As Zapatos said, personal bias.

But you personally not seeing the appeal does not make it 'odd'.

Your personal bias is suggesting that the behavior itself is 'odd' with no data to back it up.

 

A recent study found that not only do 45 percent of couples watch porn together, but it's a healthy way to bond. Not to mention all the tips and tricks you can learn from watching others get it on (even if the music is on the cheesy side).

 

The study, which was published in The Archives of Sexual Behavior, found that when it came to unmarried couples, their relationships were more "committed and sexually satisfying" than if one were secretly indulging in porn when the other one wasn't around.

http://www.yourtango.com/2011101695/couples-who-watch-porn-together-are-more-committed-really

 

Some people find cutting off their genitals a huge turn on...]

Citation?

 

Now I'm not familiar with how common watching porn with a partner is, but I'd say if it's below 1% you could coin the term odd.

As you are not familiar with how common it is, perhaps you should not term it 'odd'. Edited April 18, 2017 by zapatos

[StringJunky]

That's a new one to me - I've never heard of genital mutilation as a sexual activity. It is VERY different to watching porn.

 

Why shouldn't a lonely man (or woman) who is not very good at getting sexual partners (for whatever reason, social awkwardness, disfigured or ugly face etc) sit on his own for decades without feasting his (or her) eyes on a hot young body in the throws of orgasmic pleasure? Some people get a lot of joy from watching it (on their own or with a partner). Why try to make them feel ashamed by spouting that it is wrong? I am sure they would prefer the real thing.... but it just ain't happening for some people and they take what they can get their eyes on. ;-)

He's probably been subliminally or overtly indoctrinated to believe that it's wrong and that love, in all it's forms, is between a man and a woman only.

[Raider5678]

But you personally not seeing the appeal does not make it 'odd'.

Your personal bias is suggesting that the behavior itself is 'odd' with no data to back it up.

 

 

Citation?

 

As you are not familiar with how common it is, perhaps you should not term it 'odd'.

I am now familiar with it.

It's not odd.

He's probably been subliminally or overtly indoctrinated to believe that it's wrong and that love, in all it's forms, is between a man and a woman only.

Actually, I was taught that love in any form except vanilla sex between a husband and wife is wrong, demoralized, and will result you burning in hell.

I read the Bible, and I decided as long as they both agree on something it's fine.

Citation?

This isn't what I was referring to, but here's this:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3439299/I-fried-piece-rump-steak-ate-sprouts-German-cannibal-ate-gay-lover-permission-describes-went-killing-eating-him.html

I think we can agree less then 1% believe this to be arousing, and therefore could be considered odd?

[StringJunky]

Actually, I was taught that love in any form except vanilla sex between a husband and wife is wrong, demoralized, and will result you burning in hell.

I read the Bible, and I decided as long as they both agree on something it's fine.

At least you starting to think for yourself, but yes, as long as any mutual activity is consensual and they are of an age, legally, to give consent then it's ok.

[Raider5678]

At least you starting to think for yourself, but yes, as long as any mutual activity is consensual and they are of an age, legally, to give consent then it's ok.

I had a bad habit of questioning everything. Got me in a lot of trouble.

 

I always wondered about the age thing.

I don't know how well that rule was followed in your time, but in my school it doesn't appear to have much effect on whether they do or not, just how well they hide it.

[StringJunky]

I always wondered about the age thing.

I don't know how well that rule was followed in your time, but in my school it doesn't appear to have much effect on whether they do or not, just how well they hide it.

Yes, legal age of consent and actual age of people starting rarely align in practice. The legal age is there as a legally-defined boundary in the event of things going wrong or for when a young person needs protecting in the event of abuse. At the legal age, society has defined that a person is permitted to have sexual autonomy and assumes they can handle such activity with others; in Western terms.

Edited April 18, 2017 by StringJunky

[koti]

Let's not forget, he's only 14, so his judgements/assessments are based from that perspective.

 

Definitely thank you for the heads up StringJunky.

 

If the consent of all parties involved is given, I suppose anything goes.

And while I agree, there are things that are odder then watching porn with a partner, I don't particularly see the appeal in that.

As Zapatos said, personal bias.

Some people find cutting off their genitals a huge turn on, I'm sure you'd agree that that's personal opinion.

But, given that it's not what the majority find appealing, "odd" which in this context means different, could be coined.

Now I'm not familiar with how common watching porn with a partner is, but I'd say if it's below 1% you could coin the term odd.

 

Yeah, few years ago I've seen a documentary on people who like genital mutilation. I remember it featured a guy searching for his ultimate goal of fulfillment of finding a girl who would bash his genitals with a bat. In my opinion that is not odd but straight up f up but hey, that is a totally different "ball" game than watching porn with your girl.

As for coining a term odd, you'd be surprised how many "non standard" sexual behaviors are out there. It's difficult to say whats standard and whats not or whats odd or whats not as human sexuality is very diverse and not many people admit to what they fancy. I would be surprised if most couples haven't watched porn together at least once in their life. Be careful, if you start categorizing people's sexuality on the basis of how common a certain behavior is - you're asking for trouble.

 

[Raider5678]

Yeah, few years ago I've seen a documentary on people who like genital mutilation. I remember it featured a guy searching for his ultimate goal of fulfillment of finding a girl who would bash his genitals with a bat. In my opinion that is not odd but straight up f up but hey, that is a totally different "ball" game than watching porn with your girl.

As for coining a term odd, you'd be surprised how many "non standard" sexual behaviors are out there. It's difficult to say whats standard and whats not or whats odd or whats not as human sexuality is very diverse and not many people admit to what they fancy. I would be surprised if most couples haven't watched porn together at least once in their life. Be careful, if you start categorizing people's sexuality on the basis of how common a certain behavior is - you're asking for trouble.

I understand that there's a lot of different fetishes. The only ones I categorize people with are the ones who like young kids, those who like raping people, and those who like exposing themselves to others.

I find those disturbing. Consequently, so does the law.

[Raider5678]

 

Trust your instincts on this and don't let religion play a part in your sexuality.

My instinct is to kill people whenever I get angry.

 

Also, this is getting off topic.

Edited April 18, 2017 by Raider5678

[koti]

I understand that there's a lot of different fetishes. The only ones I categorize people with are the ones who like young kids, those who like raping people, and those who like exposing themselves to others.

I find those disturbing. Consequently, so does the law.

 

These are not fetishes, these are sexual dysfunctions. Fetish is when you like a girl wearing shoes while in bed or when you like wearing panties or similar funny/odd/harmless sexual playfulness. Paedophilia or rape are serious sexual dysfunctions and also a serious criminal offence.

I deliberately left out indecent exposure because it seems to me not particularly harmful and just plain funny.

My instinct is to kill people whenever I get angry.

 

Also, this is getting off topic.

 

Well we are taking about sexuality not murder and I suggested you should act on your instincts regarding your sexuality as long as they don't harm anybody. Maybe not killing but I also experience the instinct of punching somebodies teeth out when I get angry - doesn't mean you have to do it because it involves hurting the other person. Sexual games with consent of all parties involved do not hurt anybody (except priests in your local church which is a great thing in my opinion)

Edited April 18, 2017 by koti

[Raider5678]

 

These are not fetishes, these are sexual dysfunctions. Fetish is when you like a girl wearing shoes while in bed or when you like wearing panties or similar funny/odd/harmless sexual playfulness. Paedophilia or rape are serious sexual dysfunctions and also a serious criminal offence.

I deliberately left out indecent exposure because it seems to me not particularly harmful and just plain funny.

 

Well we are taking about sexuality not murder and I suggested you should act on your instincts regarding your sexuality as long as they don't harm anybody. Maybe not killing but I also experience the instinct of punching somebodies teeth out when I get angry - doesn't mean you have to do it because it involves hurting the other person. Sexual games with consent of all parties involved do not hurt anybody.

What deems something a fetish and a dysfunction?

I'd think that they were both simply something that turns that person on.

 

Also, if some random guy exposed himself to your daughter, would you consider that funny?

 

These are not fetishes, these are sexual dysfunctions. Fetish is when you like a girl wearing shoes while in bed or when you like wearing panties or similar funny/odd/harmless sexual playfulness. Paedophilia or rape are serious sexual dysfunctions and also a serious criminal offence.

I deliberately left out indecent exposure because it seems to me not particularly harmful and just plain funny.

 

Well we are taking about sexuality not murder and I suggested you should act on your instincts regarding your sexuality as long as they don't harm anybody. Maybe not killing but I also experience the instinct of punching somebodies teeth out when I get angry - doesn't mean you have to do it because it involves hurting the other person. Sexual games with consent of all parties involved do not hurt anybody (except priests in your local church which is a great thing in my opinion)

I don't think it would hurt my pastor. I'd assume he wouldn't care. It's my religious parents that would.

[koti]

What deems something a fetish and a dysfunction?

I'd think that they were both simply something that turns that person on.

Hurting people = sexual dysfunction and criminal offence.

Not hurting people - It's ok, do what you both want !

 

Also, if some random guy exposed himself to your daughter, would you consider that funny?

 

if it was a type of indecent exposure like you see in the movies that would involve a guy running around in a coat wearing nothing underneath - Yes, definitely I'd be pissing myself laughing. And I have a daughter btw.

I don't think it would hurt my pastor. I'd assume he wouldn't care. It's my religious parents that would.

I hope you will find the strength to think for yourself.

[Raider5678]

 

What deems something a fetish and a dysfunction?

I'd think that they were both simply something that turns that person on.

Hurting people = sexual dysfunction and criminal offence.

Not hurting people - It's ok, do what you both want !

 

Also, if some random guy exposed himself to your daughter, would you consider that funny?

 

if it was a type of indecent exposure like you see in the movies that would involve a guy running around in a coat wearing nothing underneath - Yes, definitely I'd be pissing myself laughing. And I have a daughter btw.

I don't think it would hurt my pastor. I'd assume he wouldn't care. It's my religious parents that would.

I hope you will find the strength to think for yourself.

 

Clearly, you missed my previous post.

[koti]

Clearly, you missed my previous post.

 

I'm pretty sure I addressed everything you wrote, scroll up and check.

[Raider5678]

 

I'm pretty sure I addressed everything you wrote, scroll up and check.

No, I meant that you replied with something I already addressed.

I have no problem thinking for myself.

[Raider5678]

E

 

 

It's not an easy task to think for yourself against the people around you, especially if you come from a religious background. I wouldn't be so sure if you are strong enough to cope with that task.

Evidence for such?