Do you feel the persons you care about actually don't care about you ? what will you do?

[fresh]

people say don't care about the persons who don't care about you. Remember it, you will have less unhappiness.

 

It is easier said than done.

 

why the persons you care about don't care about you ?

 

do u feel the same way ? what will you do ?

 

life is so hard....

 

 

[fiveworlds]

You have to get rid of toxic people simple as that.

[fresh]

It is so hard to have the real friends who care about you & understand you.

 

they put their own interests first, also including boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife....

 

it seems you have lots of friends, but you feel lonely.

Do u have these friends who never take initiative to contact you, only you contact them first.

once you feel tired of taking initiative, they disappear from your life, feeling unappreciated, unvalued and unrespected.

 

when you begin to doubt a relationship, there must be sth wrong.

Edited May 21, 2017 by fresh

[dimreepr]

they put their own interests first, also including boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife....

 

Don't you?

 

If you want a true friend, forgive them for being like you.

[fresh]

 

Don't you?

 

If you want a true friend, forgive them for being like you.

i am not that selfish. why you say so ?

[dimreepr]

i am not that selfish. why you say so ?

 

Because we all are.

[KipIngram]

I am no psychologist, but I have been stumbling through this thing called life for over 50 years now, and you pick up a few things along the way. I don't mean this in any sort of a critical way - we all have traveled our own paths in life and there's nothing easy about it - but I feel that people who find themselves caring for others that don't reciprocate that feeling are typically hungry for validation. For whatever reason, they haven't developed a strong sense of self-esteem, and they measure their own worth in terms of how others regard them.

 

If that's the situation you're in, you'll become much happier if you can overcome it. You are a unique and special human being with your own path to follow and your own things to achieve. Your life is important regardless of what others think of you. If you possibly can, I recommend that you spend some time thinking about things that are important to you regardless of the opinions of others. Explore those things, make yourself stronger in those areas, etc. Find the aspects of yourself that you are proud of and that highlight your own unique individuality. Those things become yours - things that no one else can take from you no matter what.

 

I don't mean to make this sound easy - if it's not a habit your in then it might be very hard. But if you love yourself first and solidify your reasons for doing so then you'll find that you have less need of external validation. A funny thing about life is that the less you depend on other people for your self-esteem the more you will find yourself being valued by others. You'll find it easier to decide which people around you truly value a relationship with you and which ones are just looking for a way to use you, and like fiveworld noted above you can then eliminate the toxic relationships from your life.

 

I don't know if that will help at all, but I hope it does. Good luck!

[dimreepr]

You are a unique and special human being with your own path to follow and your own things to achieve. Your life is important regardless of what others think of you. If you possibly can, I recommend that you spend some time thinking about things that are important to you regardless of the opinions of others. Explore those things, make yourself stronger in those areas, etc. Find the aspects of yourself that you are proud of and that highlight your own unique individuality. Those things become yours - things that no one else can take from you no matter what.

 

My dog is a special little doggy and barks at different things to my neighbours dog, but it still sniffs arse and chases squirrels; because it's a dog.

 

I'm a human, am I really so unique?

[StringJunky]

It is so hard to have the real friends who care about you & understand you.

 

they put their own interests first, also including boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife....

 

it seems you have lots of friends, but you feel lonely.

Do u have these friends who never take initiative to contact you, only you contact them first.

once you feel tired of taking initiative, they disappear from your life, feeling unappreciated, unvalued and unrespected.

 

when you begin to doubt a relationship, there must be sth wrong.

You need to make friends with yourself. Regardless of the level of closeness of ones relationships they are all transient and will end, in some way, at some point. You enter the world alone and you will leave alone. It's not easy, but seek to find a sense of completeness and self-containment in your own company so that the inherent selfishness of everybody around you does not affect your sense of who you are. Expect nothing from anyone and then you should never feel let down. The only people that you should love unconditionally and give, without expectation of return, are children in your care.

Edited May 21, 2017 by StringJunky

[KipIngram]

 

My dog is a special little doggy and barks at different things to my neighbours dog, but it still sniffs arse and chases squirrels; because it's a dog.

 

I'm a human, am I really so unique?

 

Well, I think you are, yes. You're the only one living your life.

You need to make friends with yourself. Regardless of the level of closeness of ones relationships they are all transient and will end, in some way, at some point. You enter the world alone and you will leave alone. It's not easy, but seek to find a sense of completeness and self-containment in your own company so that the inherent selfishness of everybody around you does not affect your sense of who you are. Expect nothing from anyone and then you should never feel let down. The only people that you should love unconditionally and give, without expectation of return, are children in your care.

 

+1; that's exactly the message I was trying to send, only you sent it better.

[Raider5678]

Because we all are.

I knew a man who threw away his life saving someone.

[StringJunky]

 

+1; that's exactly the message I was trying to send, only you sent it better.

Cheers.

[Raider5678]

I'm a human, am I really so unique?

I tried explaining this once. See what you think.

 

All humans are different.

You won't find any of them that are exactly alike.

But there are so many of them, and all their lives matter, does that make them unique?

Because ultimately, they're all the same.

And while that's true, it's also wrong.

The measure of life isn't how different you can be.

It's how much of an impact you can leave.

And the impact doesn't have to be big, it simply has to be good.

[Prometheus]

All humans are different.

You won't find any of them that are exactly alike.

But there are so many of them, and all their lives matter, does that make them unique?

 

It's a matter of perspective. Every snowflake is individual when examined close enough, but they all look the same from a sufficient distance.

 

The measure of life isn't how different you can be.

It's how much of an impact you can leave.

And the impact doesn't have to be big, it simply has to be good.

 

That's your measure of life - quite a good one. But others will have a different measure which are no less valid.

[dimreepr]

I knew a man who threw away his life saving someone.

 

I know a me that almost did the same saving my cousins life, we are all capable of tremendous selflessness; but in the context of the OP, we are equally capable of selfishness.

 

I'm not suggesting we're bad people for thinking of ourselves first in this context; just yesterday my brother complained his, very close, childhood friend hasn't been in touch for nearly a year, to which I replied "have you"?

 

It's a matter of perspective. Every snowflake is individual when examined close enough, but they all look the same from a sufficient distance.

 

 

That's your measure of life - quite a good one. But others will have a different measure which are no less valid.

 

Very eloquent +1, I was composing a similar reply when I read yours, I deleted mine.

Edited May 22, 2017 by dimreepr

[KipIngram]

Very eloquent +1, I was composing a similar reply when I read yours, I deleted mine.

 

That's pretty much how I felt after I read StringJunky's remarks - very similar thinking to mine, only more well-expressed.

[fresh]

some friends only exist online....don't feel like real...

[KipIngram]

some friends only exist online....don't feel like real...

 

I call those "acquaintances." A much lesser relationship.

[StringJunky]

some friends only exist online....don't feel like real...

 

 

I call those "acquaintances." A much lesser relationship.

Be they online or in-the-flesh, they are all impermenant... eventually. Whether a friendship lasts a week or 30 years, when they are gone, they are gone.

Edited May 30, 2017 by StringJunky

[KipIngram]

 

Be they online or in-the-flesh, they are all impermenant... eventually. Whether a friendship lasts a week or 30 years, when they are gone, they are gone.

 

Ultimately true, for sure. One of my favorite book series is "The Dresden Files." In that series the main character is struggling emotionally with having been cursed to "Die alone." He has a vision of his dead father, and his father tells him that we all die alone. That "death is a door, and it's one person wide." So very much in line with your earlier point.

 

That said, my family - my wife, and my daughters - are incredibly, amazingly important to me. Time with them and sharing experiences with them is the best part of my life. So relationships do matter, in spite of their ultimate transience.

[StringJunky]

 

That said, my family - my wife, and my daughters - are incredibly, amazingly important to me. Time with them and sharing experiences with them is the best part of my life. So relationships do matter, in spite of their ultimate transience.

Yes, of course. I should add: it's not the duration that matters but what happens in that time. I have experienced some terrific social intercourse with some people online that will never in happen in the flesh and converse with people of huge diversity... I feel no less fulfilled intellectually because they are ephemeral. That quote is awesome. I like people but I like my own company as well. I feel sorry for those who spend their life avoiding solitude and will have to face it in the autumn of their life when everyone around them has faded away. This is one lesson I will not have to learn.

[KipIngram]

Yes, I enjoy, and even need, a degree of solitude - time with just myself. No doubt about it. I've spent a lot of time in my life just thinking about things like my values and so on, or simply learning something new. Things that are hard to do when others around you want to interact.

 

I fear that our modern culture's emphasis on social media and so forth is making such preferences less common than they once were.

[dimreepr]

That said, my family - my wife, and my daughters - are incredibly, amazingly important to me. Time with them and sharing experiences with them is the best part of my life. So relationships do matter, in spite of their ultimate transience.

 

Indeed +1, we must milk this moment for all its worth because we can only ever taste that milk now, any future taste is only a memory.

[fresh]

what if your spouse doesn't love you or you don't love him/her ?

or neither of you love each other ?

[KipIngram]

what if your spouse doesn't love you or you don't love him/her ?

or neither of you love each other ?

 

Then what is the point of being together? People make mistakes sometimes - and are also free to correct them. My first marriage ended in divorce; my ex wife just treated me *terribly*. I was very young when we got together and it took a long time for me to get up the emotional fortitude to end the marriage. I've often found myself glad that it was as bad as it was, because if it had been "bad but less bad" I'd likely have let the situation continue. And then I never would have met my current wife, which I think would be tragic.

 

If you're going to share your very life with someone, you deserve for it to be someone who is overjoyed with sharing theirs with you. You should be each other's biggest fan. When it's good it can be very very good, and that's what I'd wish for you.