The psychological Source of Schizophrenia

[kayzumfelde]

You may wonder, if I really found the source of this mental illness. I found it at least in my case, because this was the door to recover from schizophrenia. I found the solution to the basic problem which I discovered also in two other guys who are still mentally ill.

 

The way to the solution of my case was long with many setbacks. However, I didn’t give up. To find the source at least in my case I needed to reconstruct what was happened at the start of the mental illness. The problems started back in 1990/91. I don’t want to tell you the whole story.

 

I remember that I started to isolate me from society. I did this because I felt guilty about something that was not my fault. It was nobody’s fault. In 1989 I fell in love with a woman who as I later found out was only attracted to me, because I was good looking and intelligent. No real feelings as I found out over the time.

 

How could I fell so guilty that I become schizophrenic because I was falling in love? You need to know, that this woman had another boyfriend. She didn’t told me this. I found it out by chance. And Later, I felt guilty, because I didn’t simply immediately quit this relationship.

 

I started feeling guilty when the relationship became complicated after some time. I thought the society wasn’t accepting me anymore because of this story. I isolated me from society by stop talking with my friends and quitting my new job at the University.

 

Why was I isolating myself and why I felt guilty about continuing that relationship? The reason is a non-existence of self-worthiness. What is self-worthiness? Putting it simple: You are self-worthy if you think you are of value to someone to your family or to your society. If you feel you are a waster for society, no positive self-worthiness simply doesn’t exist.

 

If I look back I felt like an outsider for a long long time. I had no self-worthiness because I thought everything I do was like a sisyphus work. I tried something but it had no positive outcome. That wasn’t really true, but my imagination was like that. I didn’t analyse the situation. At the beginning, when I was a teenager or when I was in my twenties only my subconsciousness has observed what was right and what was wrong. Many times I decided according to my moral values but only intuitively.

 

I tried to integrate myself into different sub-societies but it didn’t really work out. I tried many sub-societies, but I found myself left in the rain. Well, you may argue that I didn’t try enough to get into one of one of those sub-societies. That’s true, but I didn’t feel right inside any of these past sub-societies.

 

Why was this the case? I didn’t feel supported or loved around these people. That doesn’t mean I haven’t had any friends. But those friends were only a few and the sub-society associated with them hadn’t a positive attitude.

 

So, question is how can you avoid becoming mentally ill? You need to have a positive self-worthiness. This is only possible if you are supported and accepted by the sub-society you live in. Well the sub-society you should be firstly accepted and supported is your family. If you aren’t accepted and supported by your family then the problem of negative self-worthiness can become serious sooner or later. That’s because you become an outsider within your own family.

 

If you furthermore don’t have friends who support and love you, it could happen that the whole problem can rise more and more until it ‘implodes’ with the result: Mental illness.

 

Why did I write ‘it could happen?’ In my case, if I felt in love with a caring, supportive and lovely woman, I believe the schizophrenia hasn’t occurred. On the other hand, my first therapist said several times, she thinks that I must attract such a woman. That leads me to something that I wrote on another post with the title: ‘Is the world cynical?’ You need to assure that your partner is not cynical to build up a supportive, lovely and joyful partnership. My therapist thus seemed to be convinced that I wasn’t able to distinguish between a good and a cynical person. She was backing this idea up with an example. Specific women who have several partners in her life who have in common, that they are addicted to alcohol.

 

Why was I attracting women, who thought I was only good looking and intelligent? Was I selfish, dishonest, judging and discriminating people? Sometimes I was, in order to make others loving me what didn't work. But I didn’t believe these steps by myself were obvious. And this cynical parts of me didn’t cross my consciousness until I thought about it deeper.

 

To avoid attracting cynical people you yourself need to behave good and not cynical. But you have to learn this. For this you have to decide what is right and what is wrong. You need to listen to your mind and heart and decide whether an action of someone is right or wrong.

 

To defend what you think is right and what is wrong you need to be at least sometimes brave. This is not easy, because sometimes you feel pressure for example from your sub-society. Then you have to convince them from your opinion. If this is not possible or if you are not accepted and respected, then something with you or your sub-society is wrong.

 

Back to the negative self-worthiness. If you think you are a waster, then you will think that what you think is right was let’s say not enough to become accepted and respected. I understood that only many years later, not such a long time ago.

 

You may have red that often a psychosis arises if you are becoming an adult. This seems to be true and is not in contraction to my observations. If you have a negative self-worthiness you could think you are a waster or outsider and if performance is demanded by your boss you can therefore run into a psychosis. That could be happen because if you think you are a waster you don't believe you ever get accepted. And also you may are not able to distinguish the right people from the wrong ones.

 

[Handy andy]

I understand that Schizophrenia may be inherited, do any of your family members also have Schizophrenia.

 

A friend of my family developed Schizophrenia, after he was married for a second time, his first wife died in child birth, he got married again and had more children. Both his first son by his first marriage and his first son by his second marriage developed Schizophrenia, his 3rd son broke of contact with his family, but I understand he also may be having problems. The family friend drowned himself after his second marriage broke up.

 

The medication for Schizophrenia may have improved over the years but I understand they could induce Parkinsons disease. Also the medication for Parkinsons could induce Schizophrenia. There may be better drugs available now for Schizophrenia. Are you taking medication? Is this a life long thing that you will need to do?

[kayzumfelde]

Well, I have heard a lot about the so-called genetic predisposition or vulnerability. It is an assumption which some or many psychiatrists and psychotherapists say is the cause for schizophrenia. But there's no evidence for this. And that schizophrenia appears in more than one of families members can be explained in other ways than genetic predisposition, namely by the behavior that the parents or other family members induce on their children, cousins etc. My 'father' was not my biological father. My mother didn't know how to handle me, so I was always an outsider, which is, as I believe is one cause for the problem. The other main problem was that I was lacking self-worthiness. As an outsider you have difficulties to trust others. I didn't know that until I started to trust some people. That took a long time.

 

Yes, I still take medication, but it is going to be reduced continuously. The experiences of the psychosis' phases appear as memories, but I can decide what is reality and what is a delusion. All my symptoms which were under medication still present somehow by experiencing irrational fears and sometimes short impressions of delusions were finally gone in October 2016. Especially the irrational fears and the paranoia were hard to defeat but they are gone. My psychiatrist says, that she doesn't believe that I stay healthy without medication. That's because she believes in genetic predisposition.

 

And no, to my knowledge there were no members in my family who became ill of schizophrenia. I cannot say for sure for my fathers family.