The knowing and awareness of our thoughts

[Coherentbliss]

I would like to see some responses on this topic....it seems most people assume their thoughts and emotions and don't know that they can actually change them on command once they learn it is possible. But some people are not capable of this.

Do you understand what awareness and direction of thought is? Would be interesting to see what you think it is....without Googling it.

Thanks

I would like to see some responses on this topic....it seems most people assume their thoughts and emotions and don't know that they can actually change them on command once they learn it is possible. But some people are not capable of this.

Do you understand what awareness and direction of thought is? Would be interesting to see what you think it is....without Googling it.

Thanks

A wise man seeks wisdom....a fool thinks he knows enough

Edited July 15, 2017 by Coherentbliss

[dimreepr]

I would like to see some responses on this topic....it seems most people assume their thoughts and emotions and don't know that they can actually change them on command once they learn it is possible. But some people are not capable of this.

 

Are you suggesting we can consciously decide to be happy when sad/bereaved?

 

Do you understand what awareness and direction of thought is? Would be interesting to see what you think it is....without Googling it.

Thanks

 

 

I can decide to be content with my feeling's, accept them for the emotions they are; I can't decide to turn back the tide.

 

A wise man seeks wisdom....a fool thinks he knows enough

 

A wise man knows the limits of his/her control...

[Coherentbliss]

"Are you suggesting we can consciously decide to be happy when sad/bereaved?" Yes! And so much more. The study and techniques on this subject shows most of us have the power to change our thinking process upon awareness...the key is learning how to be aware of our thoughts in the moment. It takes practice because we are so used to how we think and react and have accumulated a life time of information that our mind responds to/uses every day.

We all "decide" subconsciously how we will react, feel and speak. Teaching ourselves to pay attention to what our mind is thinking and the emotions we are feeling and analyzing these two things changes lives. Many therapists use the latter to help people see themselves and the problems they have.

You, me and everyone else "decides" to say or do something and mostly based upon emotions. Controlling ones emotion-based responses and learning positive options is changing many peoples lives for the good. I am not saying to discard emotions. I'm saying change our thinking. Many people argue just because of pride...but can't see it. Others become angry at something and react without realizing they don't have to feel angry at all. But like I said...not all people can do this because many people have stuck themselves in their own little box and don't even know there is a whole other world out there and the knowledge we have is little in comparison.

[Area54]

Agreed. If an event, for example, is one that tends to make you angry, you have the option of allowing yourself to become angry or deciding not to do so. I think this is what you are referring to. If so I agree it takes a little practice, but can then become quite natural.

[Coherentbliss]

Yes, like most things in our life we become "tuned" into a repetitious being and eventually we begin to see other paradigms that we want to chase. Growing old brings hassles but also brings new awareness...it's perplexing at times when we look back at our lives and see how we have changed...and wish we knew then what we do now. And later we look at that same wish and laugh at ourselves lol. Life (IMO) is a never ending knowledge sponge...the trick is getting rid of the old bad to make room room for the new better....it's like squeezing a sponge before we use it lol...keeping the old (bad) knowledge just gets in the way.

 

Tuning our mind to be aware of our own faults eventually manifests new awareness and we become at peace within ourselves no matter what is going on around us...but we also do not allow ourselves to be in a place that causes drama any longer and this too contributes to this peace. Learning to say "no" can be a hard one but has tons of rewards...and not just for ourselves.

 

Do we walk into a pit of mud on purpose? Do we associate ourselves with those who play in the mud? I guess if it was a sexy woman wearing a bikini then maybe lol. As long as there was a shower or hose nearby. What I'm saying is why place ourselves and those we care about in a bad situation?

 

Our thoughts will eventually manifest into reality...let's keep the bad thoughts at bay. Ok I'm rambling time to go

[dimreepr]

The point I'm making is, our emotions are beyond our control, whatever we decide.

 

Some people are able to mitigate emotions, but we can't dismiss them; you WILL feel anger, sadness, hate, euphoria etc...

Edited July 16, 2017 by dimreepr

[Area54]

The point I'm making is, our emotions are beyond our control, whatever we decide.

That runs counter to my experience. One can anticipate the onset of at least some emotions and then co.untermand them. It's similar to consciously lowering ones heart rate. Perhaps you are technically correct, since there is probably a fraction of a second, perhaps even two, where the emotion is present, but it can be immediately countered, if one chooses to do so.

[dimreepr]

That runs counter to my experience. One can anticipate the onset of at least some emotions and then co.untermand them. It's similar to consciously lowering ones heart rate. Perhaps you are technically correct, since there is probably a fraction of a second, perhaps even two, where the emotion is present, but it can be immediately countered, if one chooses to do so.

 

That doesn't change the fact that one will always experience the emotion.

 

Some of us can decide to mitigate that experience, conscientiously.

 

Some can't though, through no fault of their own; would you blame a manic depressive because he/she can't?

 

Would you blame a dog for chasing a squirrel?

[Area54]

 

That doesn't change the fact that one will always experience the emotion.

 

Some of us can decide to mitigate that experience, conscientiously.

 

Some can't though, through no fault of their own; would you blame a manic depressive because he/she can't?

 

Would you blame a dog for chasing a squirrel?

 

You asserted that we could not control our emotions. If we can mitigate them, then we are controlling them. Of course, if you mean that we can simply overlook the emotion, but that it is still present then, in my experience, you are incorrect. The emotional reaction need not express itself if one chooses that it should not.

 

I am quite perplexed by your talk of blame. Why are you introducing it? I did not suggest that the inability to control ones emotions was something we should "blame" people for. I do not see that Coherentbliss did either.

[dimreepr]

 

You asserted that we could not control our emotions. If we can mitigate them, then we are controlling them.

 

Then you misunderstand the word mitigate.

[Coherentbliss]

I think both of you are correct to a point. I have a very hard time with a certain subject and find myself in a rage emotionally within the onset of it...but practicing controlling my thoughts has gotten me to the point where at least now I can calm down much sooner then ever before and actually talk about it within minutes...of course this emotional rage is not physical but just an emotional pull.

The practice of controlling ones thoughts on the onset is harder to do but IS DOABLE.

 

Dimreepr makes the point on manic depressives and this is also true for others who have some type of mental problem. A good friend of mine (now but not before I got to know him personally) was raised by a drug addict mother and left to find his food at the age of 4...on the streets. At age 9 he stole a police car (in Seattle) and crashed it causing himself a brain injury that has shaped his life-long in and out of jail routine because of his inability to reason. He is now 35 yrs old and has been out of trouble for almost 5 years now and 75% of the reason is because he moved in with me and other roommates who did not put up with his problems and showed him what he was doing. The other 25% (i'm guessing) is he is "growing up". He still struggles with arguing but is now aware of it on the onset. My point is that if he can change his thinking then most people can if they are given guidance and a chance. But those of us who consider ourselves as "normal" (is anyone normal? lol) have a much better perspective of our own cognitive abilities.

To me it is a very interesting subject because it does work and does help many people have a smoother life...being in control of our own thoughts....being aware of them upon delivery. It's like we all have a second mind working inside us and we learn to watch it and analyze it to make it our own. I still say to people...."who's in control, you or your brain?"

Sorry for typing so much but wanted to comment on Dimreepr's question "Are you suggesting we can consciously decide to be happy when sad/bereaved?"

I think Dimreepr hit the nail on the head.

YES WE CAN.

​Using the above practice along with consciously spelling-out the things we have gratitude for and actually taking the time to analyze the sadness and where it came from we will many times find that the sadness goes away or at least turns into a neutral understanding.

Worry was and still is (to a lesser degree) one of my worst habits and have had to use this practice many times and now I am to the point of much less worry....no matter why I worried or where it came from...no matter what the roots of the negative pattern are, controlling and focusing my thoughts helped tremendously. Instead of focusing on the possible outcome of my worry. Ok now i'm rambling again.

[Area54]

 

Then you misunderstand the word mitigate.

Using partial quotes to imply ignorance is unworthy of you.

 

If we are reducing the strength or effect of an emotion (as addressed in the portion of my post you chose to omit) then we are controlling that emotion. Perhaps you misunderstand the meaning of control.

[dimreepr]

Using partial quotes to imply ignorance is unworthy of you.

 

That was never my intention, apologies; but what partial quotes do you mean?

 

If we are reducing the strength or effect of an emotion (as addressed in the portion of my post you chose to omit) then we are controlling that emotion. Perhaps you misunderstand the meaning of control.

 

 

My point is, however we decide to deal with our emotions is not control, it's mitigation; one doesn't control when, or what, emotion you experience next or how long it will last.

 

I also think it's not always a good idea to suppress ones emotions, everyone deserves a good cry once in a while; why else watch a sad film?

[Strange]

The point I'm making is, our emotions are beyond our control, whatever we decide.

 

 

I don't think that is true. People go on anger management courses, for example, with some success.

 

Then you misunderstand the word mitigate.

 

Or maybe you misunderstand the word "control"?

[dimreepr]

We can't control when we get angry but we can mitigate it's effect.

For instance, I can effect/mitigate the, unwanted, behaviour's of my dog (through training), but I can't control how she thinks, or her urge to chase cats.

Edited July 17, 2017 by dimreepr

[iNow]

We can certainly train ourselves to become less angry less often with practice. We can become mindful enough of our thoughts that we recognize the anger sooner and "nip it in the bud," but the core point that we can't control the anger "trigger" itself is essentially correct. With practice, we can lessen the number of triggers and slowly disable them.

Edited July 17, 2017 by iNow

[Coherentbliss]

You brought up a great aspect....the "trigger" that starts the ball rolling... I've found that using the practice of paying attention to ones thoughts also helps in seeing a trigger before it is pulled...it took awhile to get to this point for me. I must add that many people have this ability naturally and those types I like to be around lol. It seems those who have a natural insight to their thoughts and emotions usually have a very positive and assertive personality...always seem happy and in a good mood. Being around these types is a good thing for anyone who is beginning to see the difference between arrogance and assertiveness...another interesting topic.

 

Have any of you experimented with this yet? ...Catching yourself thinking something negative while driving or working etc.? When in the past you would have just kept-on thinking about the negative until it became anger...practicing on the little things helps tremendously with the bigger things. And yes some emotions are good to go through but asking yourself "where is this going?" would be an automatic thought once one has been practicing of being in control of ones thoughts.

 

There are a few good things that come from this practice and one of them is that you find yourself in a better mood more often. Negative thoughts can lead to depression also....another topic lol.

Edited July 18, 2017 by Coherentbliss

[dimreepr]

You brought up a great aspect....the "trigger" that starts the ball rolling... I've found that using the practice of paying attention to ones thoughts also helps in seeing a trigger before it is pulled...it took awhile to get to this point for me. I must add that many people have this ability naturally and those types I like to be around lol. It seems those who have a natural insight to their thoughts and emotions usually have a very positive and assertive personality...always seem happy and in a good mood. Being around these types is a good thing for anyone who is beginning to see the difference between arrogance and assertiveness...another interesting topic.

 

I think you're getting the wrong end of the stick, it's not about control, it's not about avoiding emotions and it's definitely not about always being happy, or in a good mood, that's impossible.

 

Don't run away from your emotions, accept them; what choice do you have, besides it's a lot less work.

 

The only mindfulness you need is to understand yourself well enough to forgive the same faults in others.

[Coherentbliss]

 

I think you're getting the wrong end of the stick, it's not about control, it's not about avoiding emotions and it's definitely not about always being happy, or in a good mood, that's impossible.

 

Don't run away from your emotions, accept them; what choice do you have, besides it's a lot less work.

 

The only mindfulness you need is to understand yourself well enough to forgive the same faults in others.

i agree and disagree. In some cases we need control and in others we don't...depends upon the circumstances. If we "live and let live" and do not try to grow won't we become stagnant? But I think I know what you mean. You hit on another great point "The only mindfulness you need is to understand yourself well enough to forgive the same faults in others."

I think I said earlier some people do not need to practice controlling their thoughts so this thread would be focused on those who do. I feel the aspect of actually being in charge of what our brain thinks is a practice many people need, but in order to obtain a level of triumph they first need to know that they need to use this practice. In other words there are many people who live their lives in an angry pit, or in a naive pattern, a defensive mode etc. etc.

Picking out a problem area we have and applying this practice...if one does it enough he/she will succeed and eventually it will be a part of their norm...a happy ending.

 

And what's wrong with being happy all the time? Or most of the time? Being content/happy is not saying one doesn't strive for more knowledge...it's saying the journey will be a more relaxed and enjoyable one. Why choose to be angry when we don't have to be...or sad...or worried...or or or or. Because when we are the latter things we are "choosing" and "deciding" subconsciously to be those things.

 

I know that when my dog died I was sad and still am...I chose to keep this emotion because of the love I have for her, but I chose to not let the emotion ruin my work or play or day. When I had to have my horse put down a few weeks ago (because of her age and health) I could not be there when the vet did it or when the tractor dug the hole and buried her because it (for me) would have been to difficult. I chose to avoid the scene in hopes of remembering our years riding together and her yelling at me for food etc. In the past before I practiced being in control of my actions/brain I probably would have become angry, got drunk and caused other drama to myself and others like so many people do today. All in all the practice of being aware of ones thoughts does change lives for the better and cannot see any way it could change lives for the worse..of course unless a person has serious mental disorders and should be medicated the rest of their lives.

[dimreepr]

i agree and disagree. In some cases we need control and in others we don't...depends upon the circumstances. If we "live and let live" and do not try to grow won't we become stagnant? But I think I know what you mean. You hit on another great point "The only mindfulness you need is to understand yourself well enough to forgive the same faults in others."

I think I said earlier some people do not need to practice controlling their thoughts so this thread would be focused on those who do. I feel the aspect of actually being in charge of what our brain thinks is a practice many people need, but in order to obtain a level of triumph they first need to know that they need to use this practice. In other words there are many people who live their lives in an angry pit, or in a naive pattern, a defensive mode etc. etc.

 

 

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink...

[Coherentbliss]

 

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink...

So true