What are the primary benefits of being in an interracial/intercultural marriage/relationship with someone of opposite gender?

[dimreepr]

1 minute ago, mad_scientist said:

Are you able to rebut my points then?

Yes, the human race.

We can't f*&^ chimps. 

[Strange]

3 minutes ago, mad_scientist said:

Are you able to rebut my points then?

Really? You really need someone to explain how stupid they are?

<sigh> OK, then ...

6 hours ago, mad_scientist said:

Well, if all your family are of a particular ethnic group and you marry someone from another ethnic group, in-laws may not be able to get along with each other or not as well as if the person was from a similar background.

It sounds just as plausible to say: Well, if all your family are of a particular ethnic group and you marry someone from the same ethnic group, in-laws may not be able to get along with each other or not as well as if the person was from a different background.

Unless you are a racist, there is no reason to think that people from different backgrounds can't get along just as well as people from the same background.

Basically, the same reply to all your points. Because what you are saying is: "they" are not like "us". Which is exactly the sort of thing a racist would say.

[mad_scientist]

5 hours ago, Strange said:

Unless you are a racist, there is no reason to think that people from different backgrounds can't get along just as well as people from the same background.

Sorry to burst your bubble of reality but the world is an inherently racist place. It exists everywhere even in western countries where diversity over unity is often valued highly. It's rare for overseas South Koreans in UK, USA, Australia etc. for example to marry people from other ethnic groups. And if they do it's likely that their children won't 100% fit into Korean society if they were to return home as a family one day. Same with Japanese people who refuse to accept anymore immigrants despite a soon aging population.  In Australia, many Chinese businesses refuse to hire locals over someone who is ethnically Chinese despite this being illegal.

When it comes to immigrants to the west, typically the 1st generation immigrants are inherently racist but not the 2nd generation offspring who were born and raised in USA, UK, Australia etc. This applies to all ethnic groups and typically 1st generation migrants carry baggage from their country of birth and their own set of particular preferences. This may not be something apparent to you but if you want to marry interculturally/interracially is something you must expect that your in-laws may not get along 100%. There is a higher probability of them not getting along unless the in-laws are 2nd generation immigrants.

If you are part of the in-group however racism is not all bad. Positive racism means you can more easily be part of the group and belong and there are advantages. This is one reason why we have so many churches in the USA and other countries. E.g. something to cater for the Hispanic community and another church for the black African community. Positive racism is one advantages of marrying within your own ethnic group as well as a better sense of identity that's comes from hanging around with similar people.

Racism is part of the human DNA and something one ought to expect in multicultural societies especially for newly arrived immigrants.

 

Edited March 31, 2018 by mad_scientist

[Strange]

6 minutes ago, mad_scientist said:

Sorry to burst your bubble of reality but the world is an inherently racist place.

So the problem isn't that you are stuck in a cellar without a view of the real world; instead it seems you are stuck in a swamp full of nazis. Do you live in Trump's subconscious?

Edited March 31, 2018 by Strange

[Area54]

11 hours ago, mad_scientist said:

Well, if all your family are of a particular ethnic group and you marry someone from another ethnic group, in-laws may not be able to get along with each other or not as well as if the person was from a similar background.

This is true, but has already been pointed out by others, in-law tensions can occur because of other diferences: religion, income, educational background, work ethic, etc. If you want to experience true in-law tension go to Glasgow and find a Rangers supporter who has married a Celtic supporter. Do you wish to claim that the Scots and Irish are racially distinct? Such a claim would be inline with your other errors.

If you have any children and they are mixed race it will be harder for them to find a compatible donor should they require a bone marrow transplant or possibly other transplants I don't know about.

I am not even certain this is true, but is the possibility of requiring a bone marrow transport really high on the list of critical concerns when deciding on your life partner? On the other side, as pointed out already, there will be distinct advantages of a mixed race marriage related to hybrid vigour.

The children may also not completely belong to either paternal or maternal families through lack of cultural awareness and language abilities in either language to communicate well enough with either sides of the family.

Breaking News: raising children is a complex process filled with challenges. These challenges can be viewed as limitations and threats, or as enriching opportunities.

Mixed race children/third culture kids may find it lonely being who they are and may find it harder to find a future spouse of their own when they grow up due to their unique upbringing making it harder for someone else to completely understand them and why they are the way they are if they have travelled a lot and have been accepted by both extended maternal and paternal family members.

Then again, their exposure to diversity may well have broadened their minds, deepened their experience and made them more interesting and attractive.

Tell me, do you actually know anyone from a different ethinic group or culture, or are all your contacts from Central Casting's Hicksville?

[Outrider]

12 hours ago, mad_scientist said:

Well, if all your family are of a particular ethnic group and you marry someone from another ethnic group, in-laws may not be able to get along with each other or not as well as if the person was from a similar background.

In-laws of the same ethnicity often don't get along either.

12 hours ago, mad_scientist said:

If you have any children and they are mixed race it will be harder for them to find a compatible donor should they require a bone marrow transplant or possibly other transplants I don't know about.

I'll need a cite for that.

12 hours ago, mad_scientist said:

The children may also not completely belong to either paternal or maternal families through lack of cultural awareness and language abilities in either language to communicate well enough with either sides of the family.

Or they may have a wonderful time learning each others culture. Do you not find that plain vanilla gets bland after awhile?

12 hours ago, mad_scientist said:

third culture kids

What the heck is a "third culture kid"?

[Area54]

36 minutes ago, mad_scientist said:

Sorry to burst your bubble of reality but the world is an inherently racist place.

Yes, humans are inherently racist. However, some of us are fed up with that oudated, antiquated, destructive instinct-derived mindset and have deciced to say, loudly and clearly, fuck racism, fuck racists, fuck idiots who make a positive argument for racism. (If required, I can provide a lengthier and more eloquent justification for that position.)

[tmx3]

13 hours ago, mad_scientist said:

Well, if all your family are of a particular ethnic group and you marry someone from another ethnic group, in-laws may not be able to get along with each other or not as well as if the person was from a similar background.

If you have any children and they are mixed race it will be harder for them to find a compatible donor should they require a bone marrow transplant or possibly other transplants I don't know about.

The children may also not completely belong to either paternal or maternal families through lack of cultural awareness and language abilities in either language to communicate well enough with either sides of the family.

Mixed race children/third culture kids may find it lonely being who they are and may find it harder to find a future spouse of their own when they grow up due to their unique upbringing making it harder for someone else to completely understand them and why they are the way they are if they have travelled a lot and have been accepted by both extended maternal and paternal family members.

 

In-laws not getting along is their problem. That has nothing to do with the couple’s personal life.

“Siblings are much more likely to be matched than parents but only about 30 per cent of people needing a transplant will have a compatibly matched sibling.“ What about the other 70%? From strangers not even living in the same country (see article). Seems as if, regardless of whether or not one marries outside their gene pool, transplants are simply hard matches to come by as they are—even amongst family members...so it’s not that great of a reason to avoid an interracial relationship. 

Now we’re getting into the semantics of this notion of “belonging”. You belong when you are acknowledged, appreciated and loved. Do you have any pets, maybe a dog? They don’t communicate in the same language as you, let alone participate in the same cultural customs and traditions as you, but I bet you you’ll definitely feel a sense of “belonging” when you’re with your pet... How sad is that? The people you surround yourself with (certain family members, I assume)  won’t allow you or your of-a-different-race spouse or interracial children to feel a sense of belonging just because they “can’t communicate in the same language”. Try hugs? Kisses? ...The idea that a dog can love better than most humans is just sad. 

As for your last point, I’ll speak from experience: I’m a “mixed race, third culture” person who grew up not feeling lonely and in fact have a beautiful interracial relationship with a Hungarian man who understands me completely. It’s a soulful union, and as different as he and I may often be, we complete each other. I will add, I’ve never spent much time with neither my paternal grandparents nor my father’s side of the family, but it hasn’t impacted my life even in the slightest. 

When love happens between two people, it happens. Let it happen. Interracial, opposite religions, whatever it may be, when it happens, let it happen. It’s a kind of experience that can’t be measured by your “weighing of pros and cons”... 

[mad_scientist]

1 hour ago, tmx3 said:

In-laws not getting along is their problem. That has nothing to do with the couple’s personal life.

“Siblings are much more likely to be matched than parents but only about 30 per cent of people needing a transplant will have a compatibly matched sibling.“ What about the other 70%? From strangers not even living in the same country (see article). Seems as if, regardless of whether or not one marries outside their gene pool, transplants are simply hard matches to come by as they are—even amongst family members...so it’s not that great of a reason to avoid an interracial relationship. 

Now we’re getting into the semantics of this notion of “belonging”. You belong when you are acknowledged, appreciated and loved. Do you have any pets, maybe a dog? They don’t communicate in the same language as you, let alone participate in the same cultural customs and traditions as you, but I bet you you’ll definitely feel a sense of “belonging” when you’re with your pet... How sad is that? The people you surround yourself with (certain family members, I assume)  won’t allow you or your of-a-different-race spouse or interracial children to feel a sense of belonging just because they “can’t communicate in the same language”. Try hugs? Kisses? ...The idea that a dog can love better than most humans is just sad. 

As for your last point, I’ll speak from experience: I’m a “mixed race, third culture” person who grew up not feeling lonely and in fact have a beautiful interracial relationship with a Hungarian man who understands me completely. It’s a soulful union, and as different as he and I may often be, we complete each other. I will add, I’ve never spent much time with neither my paternal grandparents nor my father’s side of the family, but it hasn’t impacted my life even in the slightest. 

When love happens between two people, it happens. Let it happen. Interracial, opposite religions, whatever it may be, when it happens, let it happen. It’s a kind of experience that can’t be measured by your “weighing of pros and cons”... 

For people coming from Asian backgrounds, in-laws getting along really matters due to their collective mindset/culture which is less individualistic than someone without an Asian background. So, family approval and in-laws getting along is really important. I'm sure the situation is much the same in west Asia as well as eastern parts of Asia as well.

Marriage between opposite religion people is not wise as there is a higher chance that it will also result in divorce. Are you aware that divorce rates are higher between people of different religions?

Love doesn't just happen. Its a decision and a decision one makes everyday in married life.

 

Edited April 1, 2018 by mad_scientist

[CharonY]

1 hour ago, mad_scientist said:

For people coming from Asian backgrounds, in-laws getting along really matters due to their collective mindset/culture which is less individualistic than someone without an Asian background.

That was one of the most simplistic and not to mention wrong summary of a huge set of different cultures with vast regional differences. And even if we assume that collectivist mindset is correct, how do you imagine such a family? A merger of the families? What if several sons/daughters are married? Are they now a super collective? What is the role of the newly-weds? where are they integrated? How would it work in rural areas? How in urban?

No, family structure is usually closely aligned with certain aspects such as property laws and inheritance. Even by talking to one or two married Asians (of whatever region) you can easily gain insights that go far above the stories you made up. 

Edited April 1, 2018 by CharonY

[mad_scientist]

https://www.hofstede-insights.com/country-comparison/china,nigeria/

 

How could you bridge the gap between two different cultures?

See above.

Nigeria scores 84 for indulgence (24 for China) and a mere 13 for long-term orientation (while China scores 87).

Sure these are mere averages but such relationships are doomed to fail.

[CharonY]

How to bridge gaps? Mostly by not being two-dimensional caricatures.

[koti]

3 hours ago, CharonY said:

How to bridge gaps? Mostly by not being two-dimensional caricatures.

I think there is some merit (or rather a vicious circle) if you look for the resons behind having such caricature stance. I think it is logical to assume that a two dimensionality which leads to such views comes from cultural conditioning.

[mad_scientist]

https://www.buzzfeed.com/ashleyperez/i-wasnt-beautiful-enough-to-live-in-south-korea?utm_term=.hj0D8OB1X#.relMeaRO8

Cuban/Filipino/Korean-american

If you are mixed raced/third culture kid it can be hard to fit into your parents' country.

[Prometheus]

I've had far more problems with relationships across social strata than across culture. I kind of enjoy not being able to speak the same language as my in-laws

[smokequitterv2]

I know a few people who have done that and still have a hard time communicating with each other due to language issues .

I guess rich people can do that ...lol

[dimreepr]

8 hours ago, mad_scientist said:

https://www.hofstede-insights.com/country-comparison/china,nigeria/

How could you bridge the gap between two different cultures?

 

Cultures evolve, the stone-age didn't end because we ran out of stones.

8 hours ago, mad_scientist said:

Nigeria scores 84 for indulgence (24 for China) and a mere 13 for long-term orientation (while China scores 87).

Sure these are mere averages but such relationships are doomed to fail.

Yet they persist and continue to emerge, despite the ignorance of those who hate "them". 

[Kylo RenSkins]

On ‎3‎/‎31‎/‎2018 at 10:09 AM, dimreepr said:

Yes, the human race.

We can't f*&^ chimps. 

Like Dave Chappelle said if someone has sex with a monkey there's no turning back; its not like they can hook up with an orangutan Tuesday than call up Shelia Fri.  At that point they're strictly about monkey loving. 

[Ten oz]

The world is full of interracial/intercultural peoples. Caucasian,  Mongolian, and Negroid are the 3 basics races (if you believe race is even a thing). All other subdivisions of the 3 are basically interracial. Central & South America are nations of both multi racial and cultural peoples. As are the nations in the Caribbean, Northern Africa,  and Southern Asia. Race and culture are just notions. We (humans) can create all the subdivisions for each imaginable. End of the day we are all mixed to varying degrees.

[Scott of the Antares]

It has been stated that racism is unacceptable and thankfully changing times means that it is on the wane compared to the past.That does not mean that it does not occur, and unfortunately I know of a half-Chinese; half-English gentleman who, as a child,  was shunned by members of both races as he was of mixed race.

I don't see this potential bullying as a con to interracial coupling in the slightest as we all have to weather the ignorant and ill-perceived bigotry of others at some point in our lives. Forget them and move forward!

[StringJunky]

24 minutes ago, Scott of the Antares said:

It has been stated that racism is unacceptable and thankfully changing times means that it is on the wane compared to the past.That does not mean that it does not occur, and unfortunately I know of a half-Chinese; half-English gentleman who, as a child,  was shunned by members of both races as he was of mixed race.

I don't see this potential bullying as a con to interracial coupling in the slightest as we all have to weather the ignorant and ill-perceived bigotry of others at some point in our lives. Forget them and move forward!

Even if you are 'perfect', people will use that against you because it spawns envy... you can't win. As you say, you just have to weather it.

[iNow]

Whether we weather or wither...

[StringJunky]

23 minutes ago, iNow said:

Whether we weather or wither...

Yep.

[Ten oz]

20 hours ago, Scott of the Antares said:

It has been stated that racism is unacceptable and thankfully changing times means that it is on the wane compared to the past.That does not mean that it does not occur, and unfortunately I know of a half-Chinese; half-English gentleman who, as a child,  was shunned by members of both races as he was of mixed race.

I don't see this potential bullying as a con to interracial coupling in the slightest as we all have to weather the ignorant and ill-perceived bigotry of others at some point in our lives. Forget them and move forward!

People are bullied for a lot of different reasons. Even bullies themselves were bullied by parents, siblings, or etc which is why they became bullies. Human have a habit of subjugating each other. Even in Cities, States, and Countries were racial diversity is non-existent people still find a way to create us vs them dichotomies. 

[YaDinghus]

Ok I'm trying to look at this from a non-moral point of view here.

Physically, there are only benefits from mixing genes from beings of the same species with different heritage. The offspring are typically more robust as genetic defects that prevail in either group are usually suppressed up to the point of not beig expressed at all. On the other hand, immunological data is combined and the offspring are therefore resistant to more diseases and therefore have a higher quality of life.

Culturally, mixed unions are advantageous to the offspring as they are raised with more diverse ideas and more options to choose from later in life. They are more open (conjecture based on personal life experience) and more intelligent (also conjecture based on personal life experience). Of course, they are often targets for hate speech from bigots and haters, and sometimes even more likely to be victims of violence from these people. That I also know from personal experience.

Now to the moral point of view: just, don't. The Third Reich ended over 70 years ago, and I'll be damned if there's a Fourth Reich in my lifetime. Not on my watch!