How the pyramids were really built

[johnmcm]

© 2005 This article is subject to copyright laws and my not be reproduced without acknowledgment to the writer John McMaster and dated July 4th 2005.

 

John McMaster is a commercial writer, philosopher and author.

 

HOW THEY BUILT THE PYRAMIDS

We have spent so many years looking at how they made those darn pyramids. We build elaborate rolling systems "wheels" and ramps to show how they did it. Well here's the answer to an age old mystery.

 

The pyramids were built using a canal system. Look at the evidence. The Egyptians invented the pump. They also built amazing water and sewage systems.

 

"Canals have a very long history, with the earliest example of one being dated to 4000 B.C."

Source http://www.everything2.com/index.pl?node=canal

 

It would have been very stupid of those smart Egyptians to float those huge rocks down the Nile then unload them only to drag them 100's of yards to their final resting place. They simply build a canal with the early stones all the way to the top. Pumping water into the rising channels to raise the stone to the top, float it into place unload onto a pile of sand shuffle into place and washout the rest of the sand.

 

The canals did not hold the water all the time, they were only flooded when moving blocks. The dimensions of the lift channels were only 60ft by 20ft and were built like steps up the side of the structure as it was built. The pumps worked all the time to move water to the top of the structure and the water was dropped down to flood the channels as the block was moved up.

 

The reason the canal isn't still there is that they used the canal stones at the top for pure economy of time. They were smart! And we are still trying to figure out how so few people (according to the evidence) build such huge pyramids in such a short period of time. Using the wheel they couldn't! Still stuck on the wheel theory?

 

There is clear evidence which I'll be happy to provide

 

I would like anyone interested to join the team in helping to unfolding the truth.

 

Considerations

In many hieroglyphics there are images of small boats being punted.

Boots were often buried with the key architects and builders.

The Egyptians were masters of water.

Site is close to major source of water.

Egyptians were real smart

[atinymonkey]

© 2005 This article is subject to completely ineffectual copyright laws and may be reproduced without any acknowledgment from the writer (who is a tiny monkey), and is dated July 15th 2005 for no particular reason.

 

WHAT IS THE MOST IMPRACTICAL WAY TO BUILD THE PYRAMIDS?

Some people have spent a couple of years looking at how they made pyramids. Some built elaborate rolling systems which they impishly named "wheels" and systems of ramps, visual tricks to publish books or sell TV shows. Well here's no answer at all to an age old mystery, if it's a mystery at all.

 

The pyramids could have been built using a canal system. Look at the amazing lack of logical evidence. The Egyptians invented the Archimedes screw, and then invented Archimedes. They also built amazing water and sewage systems, although I might be thinking of the Mesopotamians. Actually, I think I'm thinking of Romans. The Egyptians just had irrigation, now that I think of it. Well, more of a river with buckets to be honest with you.

 

Canals have a very long history, with the earliest example of one being a river.

 

It would have been very normal of those wacky Egyptians to float those huge rocks down the Nile then unload them only to drag them 100's of yards to their final resting place. They simply had to build a bizarre canal with rhinestones studding it all the way to the top. Carrying the water into the rising channels to raise the stone to the top, float it into place unload onto a pile of sand shuffle into place and washout the rest of the sand. Then do a little dance. Make a little love. Although that would need locks on each tier of the canal, and bloody great amounts of water pumping up. Not to mention the rhinestones. The Egyptians avoided the huge engineering problems involved in creating the canal on top of the pyramid by denying gravity with large magical wands.

 

The canals did not hold the water all the time, they were only flooded when moving blocks. This helped to make the idea even more pointless, as the canals would have taken years to fill with the technology available. The pumps worked all the time to move water to the top of the structure and the water was dropped down to flood the channels as the block was moved up. A bit like a massive water fountain that would be impossible to build with simple bricks and mortar due to the massive tonnage of pressure per square inch. They liked a challenge. Almost as much as they liked complete obliterating a building technique from the national concisenesses with a 2 week cous cous and beer bender.

 

The reason the canal isn't still there is that they used the canal stones at the top for pure economy of time, they used slaves to hold back the water as they did his. By the Gods, they were dumb! And we are still trying to figure out how so many people (according to the evidence) build so few pyramids in such a massive period of time. Using the trebuchet method they couldn't! Still stuck on the trebuchet theory? Well, who can blame you, it was bloody terrific.

 

There is a considerate lack of clear evidence which I'll be happy to provide. Clear, but obviously unsubstantiated. It involved massive leaps of faith and the ability to ignore rather large swathes of existing research, but if your drunk and high it just might make sense.

 

I would like anyone interested to pleaser send me the number of their pharmacologist, and a price list.

 

Random facts!!!!1111221

In many hieroglyphics there are images of small boats being punted along the Nile.

Boots were often buried with the Pharaohs to aid the travel on the river styx.

Some Egyptians lived quite close the the Nile.

All of Egyptian society needed water from the Nile to survive.

Egyptians were smarter than you'd think, if you confused progressive civilization with genetic evolution

Cheese was not used as a substitute for good solid rock

[ydoaPs]

Aliens built them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[johnmcm]

I understand you know a lot about these things atinymoney, I found an egyptian picture of your ancestors.

 

 

 

It seems the baboon has been around for a long time.

[Dak]

are those two on the bottom really pleased to see each other or something?

 

whats wrong with the idea that they lugged the blox from the nile to the pyramid? There would have been alot of lugging of the blocks involved in building the pyramid anyway, whats another couple hundered yards?

[Mokele]

are those two on the bottom really pleased to see each other or something?

 

Only if the ancient Egyptians were the most phenomenally endowed individuals of all time....

[abeefaria]

Aliens built them, haven't you seen Alien Versus Predator?

[ydoaPs]

unfortunately, yes.

[atinymonkey]

It seems the baboon has been around for a long time.

It's the symbol of Thoth, the all knowing and all seeing, who by coincidence was the master architect of the Pyramids. Which leads me onto an interesting point, how does your idea fit in with the building of the Ziggurats?

[EL]

Hahahahahahahahaha

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahaha.

And.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahaha.

You people are hilariously funny.

I shall not tell you how I built them of course or else it would not be a mystery anymore.

LOL.

[reyam200]

Hell hath no Furry like a Woman scorn

thats the correct phrase

Abeefaria

[Sayonara]

No it isn't

Sayonara³

[CPL.Luke]

didn't they find that the workers who built the parymid weren't slaves

 

(sorry its far to early o make a joke)

[Phi for All]

Hell hath no Furry like a Woman scorn

thats the correct phrase

Abeefaria

Winner of this week's Incorrect Correction Award.

[mustang292]

Lo..freakin..L

 

I love it atinymonkey you made my day. that was funny!

 

But anyway, I like your idea Johnmcm, but it needs some more work.

[insane_alien]

yeah actually they now think that the "slaves" were farmers who worked on the pyramids when the nile was flooded as they could not farm at that time.

[YT2095]

apparently they were also well treated (contrary to what Hollywood would have us beleive), who`de have thought that man power and Brute force was used to build them, seems almost a radical concept compared to Some of the ideas out there