Dark Suckers

[BPHgravity]

For years it has been believed that light bulbs give off light. Recently, scientists have proven just the opposite. Instead of a light bulb giving off light, they actually suck dark.

 

From now on, light bulbs will be called "dark suckers". Scientists in the laboratory have proven that dark has a heavier mass than light and that dark is faster than light.

 

The dark sucker theory that light bulbs suck dark is based on an example such as the lamp in your living room. There is less dark close to the lamp than there is farther away from the lamp. The larger the dark sucker, the lighter the living room.

 

Like other things, dark suckers don't last forever. Once they become full of dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the black spot on a dark sucker that is full.

 

The first dark sucker was a candle. A new candle has a white wick. As the candle is used, the dark that is sucked up turns the wick black. The wick is a gauge to indicate the amount of dark that has been sucked up. If you held an object close to the wick of an operating candle, the object would turn black because it got in the path of the dark flowing into the wick.

 

There are also portable dark suckers. The bulbs in a portable dark sucker cannot handle all the dark by themeselves, and must be aided by a dark storage unit. When the dark storage unit is full, it must be either emptied or replaced before the portable dark sucker can operate again.

 

Sucking dark creates heat, thus it is dangerous to touch a candle while it is sucking dark. Dark is heavier than light. This is proven as one swims deeper, it gets darker and darker. This is because the dark sinks to the bottom and the light floats to the top.

 

As you can see, the proof is undisputable. I am also working on a theory for my sound sucker. When I turn my sound sucker on, sound is drawn in from all around. What was once a quiet room is now full of sound as it is sucked into the sound sucker. Sometimes, I can hear sounds of people talking from far, far away. There appears to be no limit to the distance of sound suckability of my sound sucker. Portable sound suckers require sound storage units similar to the dark storage units.

 

:bs: :lame: :toilet: :haha:

[Radical Edward]

wouldn't it be a silence sucker?

[blike]

lol. i see you've found the comedy goldmine that is the "Pseudoscience" forum; home of Zarkovian Science, Pyramids that produce sacred water, all things spin gravity, and the vanishing planet X...