Was Feynman a ladies man?

[dimreepr]

6 minutes ago, zapatos said:

Calm down friend. It's just a discussion. No need to get snarky.

yet we all have...

Edited January 2, 2019 by dimreepr

[CharonY]

On 1/1/2019 at 7:28 AM, Strange said:

I wouldn't be surprised if many women of the time judged him in the same way.

I do not think that that would be necessary the case. Social norms were enacted by both genders and most likely he would be mostly judged by progressive women rather than the average ones. It is important to recognize that even unequal treatment is often perpetuated by society as whole and not necessarily only by one group. Rather, progressive subsets form that oppose standing norms, which may or may not get sufficient traction to become the new norm.

That being said, in his memoirs in his memoirs his description of women tend to be one of an object of pursuit including using pick-up artist techniques, so womanizer does not seem to be far off. Sure, it is not really predatory behaviour in the strictest sense and may not even be that out of the ordinary for today's times. Nonetheless, even though they were consensual acts, it does show a certain attitude towards women that were generally accepted or perhaps not entirely unusual for young men. There is also the issue that he was fairly young as a professor and did mingle with grad/undergrad students at dances at similar events which some folks nowadays are a bit more critical than they used to be (though it still happens and it still gets yucky, especially at conferences).

Whether one likes it or not, they are part of his legacy and I do think that having a three-dimensional view on folks, even if one deeply admires them for certain aspects, is much better than putting than on a pedestal. After all, they were all human like you and me. And I think that part is crucial to inspire. If they were faultless, how can anyone even imagine to follow in their footsteps? 

Edit: I should add that it is not meant that one should try to emulate even the bad parts, rather be cognizant of them, in case that was not clear.

 

[Strange]

Excellent post, @CharonY. Makes me realise how poorly I had expressed myself!

 

[StringJunky]

4 minutes ago, Strange said:

Excellent post, @CharonY. Makes me realise how poorly I had expressed myself!

 

Yeah, even if I'd disagreed with him I'd have still plussed it.  I like it because there's no SJW-whining undertones.

 

[Alfred001]

If I can wrangle us back to the topic,

what I meant by ladies man was was he someone who was successful with girls and had a lot of girlfriends/flings/lovers and let's not judge either the behavior or my way of expressing it, let's just try to get to the facts.

[dimreepr]

1 hour ago, Alfred001 said:

If I can wrangle us back to the topic,

what I meant by ladies man was was he someone who was successful with girls and had a lot of girlfriends/flings/lovers and let's not judge either the behavior or my way of expressing it, let's just try to get to the facts.

 

who set the bar? 

[CharonY]

1 hour ago, Alfred001 said:

If I can wrangle us back to the topic,

what I meant by ladies man was was he someone who was successful with girls and had a lot of girlfriends/flings/lovers and let's not judge either the behavior or my way of expressing it, let's just try to get to the facts.

As mentioned above, in his memoirs he did indicate that he was pursuing women quite a bit, including when he was a young prof. In one chapter he was describing how weirdly successful pickup artist behaviour was. In biographies written by others he was described as dating either undergrad students and/or their siblings (I am a bit hazy on the details, it has been a while when I read it). However, these passages are more about his perception on dating and women. I do not think that that the number of his "successes" was ever quantified. Memoirs and biographies are more about the person, their mindset and their impact rather than statistics of their life.

That being said, in various accounts several different girlfriends were referenced, his various friends and colleagues described him flirting quite a bit (including in Spanish and Portuguese ) . In different accounts his years in Cornell were characterized by sufficient (broken) relationships with women that it became a bit of an issue, including during his stay in student residences. I do not think that it was spelled out what precisely he was doing there, though I believe I read that it may have involved affairs with married women. There was always too much respect for Feynman to provide all the details (or I may have just forgot them), but if his behaviour has raised eyebrows in the past, it would be likely be a bigger issue today.