Mokele Posted August 19, 2005 Posted August 19, 2005 Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New "Intelligent Falling" Theory (from The Onion) I'm such a bastard....
SorceressPol Posted August 19, 2005 Posted August 19, 2005 Because my curiosity got the better of me and I clicked on that link, yes you are.
5614 Posted August 19, 2005 Posted August 19, 2005 "Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, 'God' if you will, is pushing them down," said Gabriel Burdett,Hence when atheists jump they never come down :S
Royston Posted August 19, 2005 Posted August 19, 2005 I like the 'let's take a look at the evidence' and then goes on to quote the bible...this is actually starting to wind me up. 'There's no such thing as God'...there you go, it's written. Also this statement is current, not a couple of thousand years old, and is based on all the evidence collated that could prove the existence of God...which amounts to zero. You can't refute this statement because you have no observable evidence to refute it. You just have a book that's full of contradictions...(that's reeeally old) this statement has no contradictions. I could go on, but it's Friday night and I'm going to my local church...better know as the pub.
Kyrisch Posted August 19, 2005 Posted August 19, 2005 Didn't you guys know? God pushes us down to keep us away from heaven before our time!
Royston Posted August 19, 2005 Posted August 19, 2005 Didn't you guys know? God pushes us down to keep us away from heaven before our time! ROFL...and he made us in his own image ? Something doesn't quite add up here.
MetaFrizzics Posted August 19, 2005 Posted August 19, 2005 You forgot the other important thing God does: he touches your head as he throws you down toward the earth, damaging just enough brain cells for you not to notice he slam-dunked you. This new theory is clearly far superior to Newton's "Absolute Space" and "Instantaneous Action at a Distance". And furthermore, it is clearly better than painting yourself into a slower than light-speed corner as with SRT, or imagining Einstein's "the Aether that wasn't" as in GRT. That reminds me of Winnie the Pooh's hefalump. What have you boys got that beats the Creationists?
j-man123 Posted August 19, 2005 Posted August 19, 2005 you have to be joking.......This is the saddest excuse of a theory I have ever seen. Just like the sun god riding his charriot explains why the sun rose and fell in ancient times.... Another half-baked theory to revitalize the church
the tree Posted August 19, 2005 Posted August 19, 2005 you have to be joking.......This is the saddest excuse of a theory I have ever seen. Just like the sun god riding his charriot explains why the sun rose and fell in ancient times.... Another half-baked theory to revitalize the church Urm' date=' please tell me your being sarcastic. You do realise that the Onoin is [i']satirical[/i] right?
Newtonian Posted August 19, 2005 Posted August 19, 2005 "Closed-minded gravitists cannot find a way to make Einstein's general relativity match up with the subatomic quantum world," said Dr. Ellen Carson, a leading Intelligent Falling expert " I fail to see why you all comment on this.....clearly none of you are experts in IF and Dr Carson is.Ived discussed this with Severian for several hours.We couldnt really hold down any aspect of the theory If you would like to actually learn more you can aquire her latest publication..!"Intelligent falling for Dummies"
CPL.Luke Posted August 19, 2005 Posted August 19, 2005 I can actually prove that god doesn't exist like in the bible if god existed like in the bible why didn't he actually create the universe as described in the bible? since god didn't do it like whats in the bible i can only be infererred that if God does exist he had no contact with those who wrote the bible.
ydoaPs Posted August 19, 2005 Posted August 19, 2005 i can't believe you guys are taking this seriously. it is obviously a statement on how stupid ID is(come on, it's in the onion).
CPL.Luke Posted August 19, 2005 Posted August 19, 2005 yeah, but I just felt like getting that rant out of my system, is there even such a degree as applied scripture?
Pangloss Posted August 20, 2005 Posted August 20, 2005 Mokele, you're going to heck, Flying-Spaghetti-Monster-damn you!
Skye Posted August 20, 2005 Posted August 20, 2005 Great, now we're in for another multipage IF/gravitist flame war.
Newtonian Posted August 20, 2005 Posted August 20, 2005 I can actually prove that god doesn't exist like in the bible if god existed like in the bible why didn't he actually create the universe as described in the bible? since god didn't do it like whats in the bible i can only be infererred that if God does exist he had no contact with those who wrote the bible. ?? he did so! From the bible go through the beginning step by step and tell me where it differs,i may be able to understand what your talking about....thanks.
CPL.Luke Posted August 20, 2005 Posted August 20, 2005 Great, now we're in for another multipage IF/gravitist flame war. you jinxed us skye ?? he did so!From the bible go through the beginning step by step and tell me where it differs,i may be able to understand what your talking about....thanks. well off the top of my head I would say that god obviously didn't create the earth as the center of the universe, if you want I'll go grab my bible and start finding references, but for now I must say that its to late where I am to create a long referenced post supporting my points. however if you want to talk more about this i would suggest we create a new thread in the philosophy forum. if you create it I'll be happy to post a more thourogh argument there. I would recommend calling the thread contradictions in the bible (or lack there of) or possible contradictions in the bible at least something thats neutral
insane_alien Posted August 20, 2005 Posted August 20, 2005 that could be bad if god decides he'll push us up instead of down. lol j/k never seen so much crap.
X facter Posted August 20, 2005 Posted August 20, 2005 Ah, yes, and we know God has made it a practice to push us all down at a constant 9.8 m/s/s.
5614 Posted August 20, 2005 Posted August 20, 2005 Yeah, I think we should all start playing a game where you have to try to dodge God's hand... I mean, it can't be everywhere at once! Althogh I spose there's another god-theory allowing that!
swansont Posted August 20, 2005 Posted August 20, 2005 Yeah, I think we should all start playing a game where you have to try to dodge God's hand... I mean, it can't be everywhere at once! Althogh I spose there's another god-theory allowing that! I thought that was called hang-gliding.
jowrose Posted August 22, 2005 Posted August 22, 2005 hahah i love the onion. my crazy liberal hippie friend showed me a coupla articles once. what's funny is that there are probably people who truly believe that kind of stuff.
Royston Posted August 23, 2005 Posted August 23, 2005 yeah, but I just felt like getting that rant out of my system, is there even such a degree as applied scripture? Exactly...being a long time fan of Chris Morris I love satire. I think the point is that it might as well not be satirical, because this is exactly the type of bull sh*t theory that creationists and the like use as fuel for the faithful. I've been meaning to rant about it for a while, this just set me off.
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