Why are you still single?

[In My Memory]

This is the thread for self-loathing, self-demasculation, and self-denial. With happy face of course

 

Tell why you - as lovable as you find yourself - are still single every Friday night.

 

 

 

I'll go first:

My worst habit is that I'm just not an interesting person to talk to, I have not been blessed with the gift of small-talk. And I rarely start a conversation with people for fun - there are people who I've known for years but never called them, emailed them, or said more than "hello".

 

People like a talker, but I'm not one, so I'm single. Pity me

[beautyundone]

well, see, my boyfriend lives out of state... so yeah. friggin long distance relationships. *downs another swig of dr. pepper*

[ydoaPs]

um, i hate people in general. i am not attracted to any of the girls that i know are attracted to me. and the girls i like are like the following:

 

<DragonflyBlade2> A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

[Klaynos]

I just genrally hated by most people I meet

 

Oh and there's the issue of what I look like:

 

http://members.lycos.co.uk/racegame/phone/Picture%20(6).jpg

 

life goes on though :|

[CPL.Luke]

agreed yourdad

 

....where's the suicide booth when you need it...

 

...woot futurama

[calbiterol]

Klay, it could be a lot worse. You could have hair like Einstein in his later days. Or you could wear neon yellow socks and neon pink pants.

 

[Edit: completely forgot why I posted in the first place. Klay, you should protect your indexes. With the address you just handed out, you can view the contents of everything on your site in no time at all. Just FYI.]

[coquina]

"involuntarily unspoused". I was married for 31 years - I've been a widow for 3 years now. On August 17, 2002, if someone had told me I'd be contemplating dating, I'd have laughed in their face. The last time I dated, I was 17 and the "pill" hadn't been invented. The worst thing that could happen from indescretion was an unplanned pregnancy.

 

Why am I still single? I'm picky and I don't want to settle. I know better than to expect someone to change their behavior to suit my preferences, and I'm not liable to change mine to suit theirs. There are worse things than being alone.

[jordan]

People like a talker, but I'm not one, so I'm single. Pity me

That's really not true though. For some people, yes, but not for all.

[herme3]

um, i hate people in general. i am not attracted to any of the girls that i know are attracted to me.

 

Wow! Yourdadonapogos and I seem to have more in common than I thought!

[BobbyJoeCool]

Why am I still single... well lets see... where should I start...

 

1) The only girls that are attracted to me, are the really hot girls that all they know how to do is leech and so therefor I will NOT get involved with.

2) Most of the people I know that I eould ever concider dating, are my underlings at work, and therefor, it's illegal to some extent (and because most of them are minors and I'm twenty in a few days) and because my boss would kill me.

3) Most decent girls find me weird, unatractive, and perverted.

4) I don't want to spend money, or time trying to get a girl to talk to me about her problems.

5) I dated a girl once... I hated it will a bloody passion.

6) I dated a guy once (actually at the same time as the girl, except this relationship was going on before AND after the one with the girl)... I hated it even more.

7) I can't make small talk. (Never can find a good topic to talk about.)

8) Most of the girls who have the type of personality that I would go for AND put up with me for long enough to get to know me to know that I'm an alright kind of guy, are uber-Christian... And those people, with their trying to prove their faith REALLY PISS ME OFF!

9) Most girls, with their "no matter what you do, I'm going to find fault in the way you do it," REALLY piss me off...

10) Come to think of it, most guys piss me off because they go out and get drunk to forget their problems only to have their problems get worse because they don't spend their time trying to oductively solve their problems.

11) Most people are stupid.

12) Oh yea... I tend to rant...

 

Anyway... I feel like I'm going to be single for a very long time... Now I'm depressed.

 

And for anyone who wants to make fun of me because I'm bi-sexual, please go ahead. I've heard it all. Just for the record, I'm still a virgin on every account. No one has ever even kissed me.

 

I will happily ignore any insults, and any other comments about my sexual orientation. I am comfortable with myself, and other people making fun of me for it. Trust me, I get it a lot... especially from my uber-Christian friends who want me to go to heaven with them and are convinced that I won't because I like guys too.

[Nevermore]

Most girls don't like me, because I'm none to attractive, I have an ugly voice, and I'm terrible at small talk.

[Glider]

For me, I have absolutely no idea. I suspect there is an entire world going on to which I am blind though.

 

I like people mostly. At least, those who are interesting and have something to say. I'm sure most of you are the same in this I like to talk, I like to listen and I'm very sociable in good company.

 

I have female friends who describe me in such terms as 'gorgeous', 'funny', 'brilliant company' 'attractive' etcetera, but they may just being kind as female friends tend to be.

 

It came back to me through another female friend that a (lovely) woman I used to work with really found me very attractive. She (apparently) used such terms as 'wonderful bloke, really nice, funny, really good to talk to, really attractive' and so-on, sufficiently that my friend remembered it and told me all about it (much) later. Unfortunately, this (lovely) ex-colleague is married now , but that's how it tends to go. I always find out about things like this well after the fact.

 

I suspect I have a sort of self-blindness. I can tell easily when one person is attracted to another, but I can't tell if, or when a person is attracted to me. I just can't seem to see it I find it often happens that after a night out friends will tell me things like 'oooh, she really liked you!' and I will have missed it all together.

 

Some time ago, one of my best female friends was a bit miserable as she had split up with her boyfriend. I didn't like to see her miserable, so I introduced her to a male friend of mine, just for the company. As soon as they met I could see the 'spark' between them immediately. They're married with a daughter now (Yay!) and she's very happy (result!) But I do wonder why can I never see the same 'spark' if it is directed at me?

 

I have been alone since 1996 and I must admit, it is becoming more than a little wearing.

[coquina]

But I do wonder why can I never see the same 'spark' if it is directed at me?

 

Well.... If you're wearing a suit of armor and a welder's helmet, there may be a spark, but you won't see it, and there can be no ignition. In order for the spark to ignite, you have to take a chance on being burned. Whatcha think?

[mike90]

Well I've always been really shy, and tend to have a really low opinion of myself that ends up making me quiet and seemingly grumpy to people that dont know me. don't think im too much in the looks department either. And my interests are well, rather dorky. Currently actually in a relationship, going on 3 years ( my first girlfriend). But well, its really messy and currently we hardly see eachother so i might as well be alone. The biggest problem i seem to have is finding girls who are attracted to me AND aren't crazy .

[Klaynos]

Klay' date=' it could be a lot worse. You could have hair like Einstein in his later days. Or you could wear neon yellow socks and neon pink pants.

 

[Edit: completely forgot why I posted in the first place. Klay, you should protect your indexes. With the address you just handed out, you can view the contents of everything on your site in no time at all. Just FYI.']

 

 

 

Oh shyness yeah I'm so shy I hate buying things in shops as it involves talking to people :'(

 

Yes I know that anyone can view my file structure and I don't care, there's nothing there (that I can remember) that's of any use or importance, I only use it as the occational file store when I'm too lazy to open up a proper ftp client to a nice server :S

[Glider]

Well.... If you're wearing a suit of armor and a welder's helmet, there may be a spark, but you won't see it, and there can be no ignition. In order for the spark to ignite, you have to take a chance on being burned. Whatcha think?

Hmm...interesting. I suppose it's possible. Thing about that kind of armour is that it's so close fitting that you're never aware of wearing it, nor necessarily even where it came from, so dealing with it is that much harder. Something for me to think about anyway

[swansont]

Bad at small-talk

Geek

Shy

Geek

Don't go out much due to above (and some health complications have contributed at various times) so I don't meet many women anyway.

And I dislike being viewed as a "fixer-upper home-improvement" project (i.e. some women want to turn men into something they are not, which is very different from having and/or acquiring common interests)

[Phi for All]

If I can make an observation, Glider brings up an excellent point. It's usually easier to pair others up than to do the same thing with yourself.

 

Asking friends to help matchmake isn't a desperate act. Friends love to help, and admitting that it's hard to be objective about people you're attracted to is really very sensible.

 

Our self-esteem is strong in areas we feel good about, and weak where we're shaky. A fix-up doesn't mean you're a fixer-upper, it just means you have friends who know you better than you know yourself.

[YT2095]

this is the part that struck me as being SO TRUE!

 

There are worse things than being alone.

 

although I`m now happily married with a beautiful 10 week old daughter, this wasn`t always the case, I`ve been alone, I still like to be alone, but there`s a big huge massive difference between being alone and being Lonely!

 

I`ve spent some time being lonely, and it sucks!

also for similar reasons as stated by quite a few of you, Busy working, realising ideas and projects, Shy but not in a way that anyone would recognise as such, agrophobic at one point so wouldn`t leave my home unless it was night time and only then to shops where I didn`t have to ask for stuff, curtains closed 24/7, letters pushed back out the mail box etc...

 

things DO change though, given enough time, those that have posted here that I`ve crossed paths with and those I`ve chatted to on IRC, you`re all Lovely wonderfull people (I realy mean that!).

 

you can`t expect anyone to give you a chance if you don`t even give yourselves one, have a little faith, we`re all Human with the same frailties and general worries, someone May make the 1`st move but could be totaly scared inside while doing it too!

 

maybe one or 2 of you should try making the 1`st move, sometimes looking people in the eye of the opposite sex for longer than is comfortable is impossible, or even risking a smile.

Do it anyway, it`s not like you`re asking them to get married or anything

 

 

my 2 cents, or rather 2 cents from someone else as it was said to me when I was of similar status.

[ciderminx]

I've been single for a little while now after a pretty crappy long term relationship. I have a few guys asking me out, but i love being single! i started seeing a guy about a month ago, and its naff, the guy is seriously dull. Although its been a month, i've been away with work for three weeks. So i finally bit the bullet and got rid. Single is good for the following reasons:

1. you get the whole bed to yourself!

2. dinner can comprise of a bag of crisps and a bottle of wine if you want.

3. You can kiss different guys every night if you want

4. there's nobody to moan at you when you get smashed on cider and make a complete fool out of yourself

5. You go where you want, when you want, for how long you want

 

Now, dont get me wrong....im not down on guys, i just havn't met the one who keeps me interested or the one who thinks slightly further than beer and sex (i dont have a problem with those things but i like to do other stuff too!) and until i meet the one who will make me sit up and listen, i'm going to have a great time with all my mates!

[BobbyJoeCool]

im not down on guys, i just havn't met the one who keeps me interested or the one who thinks slightly further than beer and sex

 

I like how you reffer to "The one who thinks slightly further than beer ans sex." As if there is only ONE guy out there that might actually care about being with you instead of wanting to "score" you.

 

EDIT: Hangs head in shame for all decent guys everywhere...

[the tree]

1. The people that I'm interested in tend to be great friends and I've already screwed up one friendship by trying to take it further so I'm paranoid about doing that again.
   
2. I can't stand meeting new people, I detest parties. I always end up hiding behind someone that I know or just sneaking out.
   
3. Flirting irritates me, a lot. I'm alright with actual conversations that I know what the hell I'm talking about in but petty small talk just seems stupid.
   
4. My common knowlege (music, films etc) is limited so it's hard to find any common interests that don't spark arguments or embarrasment.
   
5. I have no musical, sporting or otherwise impressive talent to speak of.
   
6. I can't walk in a strait line.
   
7. I'm unattractive.
   

[BobbyJoeCool]

1. The people that I'm interested in tend to be great friends and I've already screwed up one friendship by trying to take it further so I'm paranoid about doing that again.
   
2. I can't stand meeting new people' date=' I detest parties. I always end up hiding behind someone that I know or just sneaking out.
   [*']Flirting irritates me, a lot. I'm alright with actual conversations that I know what the hell I'm talking about in but petty small talk just seems stupid.
   
3. My common knowlege (music, films etc) is limited so it's hard to find any common interests that don't spark arguments or embarrasment.
   
4. I have no musical, sporting or otherwise impressive talent to speak of.
   
5. I can't walk in a strait line.
   
6. I'm unattractive.
   

 

1)I know what you mean, but if you're true friends, and it doesn't work out, the friendship will get stronger, eventually. You can't be afriad of trying.

2)he he... me too.

3)agree completly

4)My major intrests are expressed on this site... Physics and Philosophy that is way above most of my friends heads that I can't talk to them about it.

5)I do have musical talant (both vocal and instrumental)... but other than that...

6)I have a permenant limp in my leg, and it makes it VERY difficult to walk a straight line... however I can march a straight line.

7)Welcome to being a nerd.

[5614]

I spose it's gotta be the small-talk that's a killer, mind, I'm trying to get better!

 

Assuming there is at least one person in the world who'd like you (and no matter how depressed you are, that's a pretty high chance!) then each person you date is more likely to be the one for you.

[BobbyJoeCool]

Assuming there is at least one person in the world who'd like you (and no matter how depressed you are, that's a pretty high chance!) then each person you date is more likely to be the one for you.

 

I love optimistic people... they make me happy

 

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