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I know how Jesus came back from the dead. He was struck by lightning!


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Posted

Jesus was half dead on the cross, his blood ebbing out, gasping his last, but then...

the storm hit. The wind and the waves where whipped up and just before the Lor' cried out with a loud voice, tis finished, a storm brew forth. It had lightning in it. And that lightning had electricity. The electricity in that lightning entered through the nails in the saviours hands and went into his nervous system. His nervous system, possessed by this new electric energy, exactly like human nervous system electricity but artificial, was spurned back to life. 

The deadish brain of the saviour was from then on possessed by the artificial electricity that pervades the atmosphere. 

And whenever the northern lights hit, he would be double possessed, and could swallow fire, break iron bars with his bare hands, etc. 

Theory of reincarnation; infallacious or otherwise?

 

Posted
!

Moderator Note

This is the Religion section of a science discussion forum. What you need is any kind of evidence to support this idea. Since it's describing an extraordinary claim, you'll need an extraordinary amount of evidence for it, especially since the null hypothesis is "the story of Jesus is fiction". Just making claims without support is hand-waiving, and it's not interesting enough to discuss. Do you have more support for this idea?

 
Posted
53 minutes ago, Jalopy said:

The deadish brain of the saviour was from then on possessed by the artificial electricity that pervades the atmosphere. 

Fairly certain it's not the brain of the "savior" that's "deadish."

Posted

Well, he might have become a little slow on the uptake - you can't fake deadish! - but his music is electrifying.

Quote

a bolt of lightning forked from the cloud and slammed into the telephone line, surging through the phone and hitting him in the face. He was blown out of the box and a stranger found him on the ground.

Fourteen years later, Tony walked out onto a New York stage and played his debut composition to an audience of thousands. The piece he'd written was called “The Lightning Sonata."https://www.vice.com/en/article/k7e45e/this-guy-got-hit-by-lightning-and-became-a-concert-pianist

 

Posted
58 minutes ago, Jalopy said:

The deadish brain of the saviour was from then on possessed by the artificial electricity that pervades the atmosphere. 

If you could first establish support for this idea that there is some kind of "artificial electricity that pervades the atmosphere", it might help others understand what you mean. What is "artificial electricity"? What things have this property? 

You get 5 posts on your first day, as a way to protect us from spammers, so tomorrow you can perhaps support your ideas a bit better? That would be great, thanks.

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted (edited)

Makes a whole lotta sense than God reviving Jesus by supernatural means. Maybe Zeus is God. Isn't his weapon of choice lightning. Could've been Thor too (mjilnor is basically a capacitor). What about Indra, the Hindu God of storms, wields a lightning bolt to make convincing arguments. 

I'm sure if we put our minds to it, we can narrow the possibilities down to one.

Great post OP.

On 3/1/2022 at 9:16 PM, TheVat said:

Connect the electrodes, Igor!

Yes, Dr. Frankenjesus!

 

 

 

 

🤣🤣🤣. Good one!

Edited by Agent Smith
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