Pocket money; allowance...

[Externet]

Hi.

What is the typical current allowance you would give to a 10 year old these days ?

[iNow]

Depends on how hard they work / what they do to earn it

[TheVat]

Beat me to it.  One way to reduce the alarming number of young adults in the world with a false sense of entitlement who think the world owes them something is to start them young contributing useful work to the family.  Some of that work is unpaid, because it helps the household which is already giving them free room, board, medical care, and hopefully a whole lotta love.  But you can have optional tasks that a ten year old would be able to do, if they want some discretionary spending money.  Wash/vac a car, help a parent with some house painting, sweep the walks and driveway, shovel snow, wash some windows (where accessible to that age), etc.  In an apartment setting, there are fewer options, but there might be other options like neighboring tenants who could use a little help especially if elderly.  

 

[StringJunky]

I don't expect a 10 year old to work. They don't owe their parents anything... it was the first-world parents wish, presumably, to have them.  

Edited October 10, 2022 by StringJunky

[Phi for All]

I always gave an allowance with no strings attached, so the child can buy things they want that I don't provide, and it wasn't much fifteen years ago. Normal chores weren't tied to that allowance, because there are some duties you do just because you live with others in a house. And I always had extra work that could be done to earn  more than the allowance. 

Does this 10 year old have a smartphone? I definitely think kids with smartphones should know how much they cost every month. 

[TheVat]

I started helping in and around the house around age 8 or so.  Nothing but good came of it.  My parents gave me a good home, I was happy and proud to help them out.  When you work for your family,  you are invested in a basic way, you are connected, you develop physical and mental competence in various areas that serve you well later.  I'm not saying a ten year old must work (school is work, too, after all, and sometimes that's a lot), just that I think it can have value.  

 

Don't even get me started on a ten year old with a smartphone.  I don't want to do the hod carrying of all the citations I would have to go find that point to what's wrong with that.  

[Peterkin]

It never occurred to me - or any of my cohort - to not help my parents. At three or four, children usually volunteer to help with everything, especially when the adult doesn't want to be hindered in some task. My mother assigned small tasks she knew we would enjoy, and could do with minimal supervision. (The very best one was polishing the floor. Anyone else do that?) Many opportunities for praise and appreciation of the children's effort. My father just gave orders and we obeyed without question. We didn't receive payment for routine house and yard chores: it was simply taken for granted that every member of the family contributes. The bigger we got, the more was expected. By my father, who was far from unique among immigrant fathers, exacted; to my mother, who was a lot more fun to be with and work with, freely offered. 

We started receiving a very modest allowance when we went to school, just enough for some little treat every week. It increased as we grew older, to cover the odd comic book, fries and coke with friends, movie tickets, that sort of thing. It wasn't a reward, just routine. Some of the immigrant children we knew had to work part-time during the school year, more in the summer, at their parent's business  or an outside job, and they might be paid, or not. One ten-year-old friend of my younger brother was killed on his way home from strawberry picking; he was cycling along the highway and wandered out in front of a bus. 

When my turn came to raise children, I tried to take the path of moderation. Our kids were expected to look after their rooms and their pets, collect and bring down their own laundry. When old enough, help with house cleaning and meal preparation, and lend a hand every now and then with renovation or yard projects. They were given allowance commensurate with their social needs, no strings attached, even while under punishment for some infraction. If they wanted more money, they could earn it with extra work: car and window washing, house painting, garden digging, errands. When they wanted to save up for a big purchase, if we approved of the acquisition, we would offer to kick in the rest of the price, after they saved up half. (We rarely had to deliver on one of those; kids often lose interest in stuff they think they want; if we'd bought the telescope or tennis racquet for them, it might well have just sat neglected, rankling the parents every they passed the kid's room.)

It worked well enough most of the time; some nagging and chivvying required, but no arguments over fairness: the jobs available came with an hourly wage for acceptable quality of work, otherwise, they'd be fired. (May as well get that idea across early in life.)    

Edited October 10, 2022 by Peterkin

[MigL]

3 hours ago, StringJunky said:

I don't expect a 10 year old to work.

10 year olds already have a job.
It's called school.

[TheVat]

2 minutes ago, MigL said:

10 year olds already have a job.
It's called school.

Might be helpful in this chat to distinguish between work and chores.   I doubt anyone here disagrees that school is the important job for ten year olds or would suggest we have them join the labor force in fields or factories.  Chores are valuable for reasons addressed by several here.  Pete set out the protocol for extra funds for extra work, and setting standards of quality, in useful detail.  The OP asks an unanswerable question: what is a typical amount.  Even knowing the context of nation, specific locale, socioeconomic condition, attitudes towards consumerism, prevailing fashions, etc, it would be hard to define "typical."  

[Peterkin]

I think it's also useful to set a time commitment appropriate to the age, and allowing for personality, and hold them to it. I'm alarmed by the general diminution of attention-span over the last half century. I don't expect a six-year-old to stick to any [non-computer-related] activity as long as his twin sister and two years older brother. And some chores, as well as jobs, are more enjoyable; some tasks are easier for some children than others. I'm a big believer in lightening work - even grunt-work - through sharing and fun, whenever possible, especially in the early years when children are forming their habits of discipline and co-operation.  By fifteen or so, boys and girls should be able to focus on projects of about equal duration: several hours, with short breaks. In between tasks, they should be given lax time and encouraged to let off a little steam. And, of course, we never gave them extra work on school days, or let them take after-school jobs.

So many people brag about having had an early morning paper route. I was never a fan. The thought of sending kids as young as eight out on wet pavement, in the dark, in traffic gives me the willies. But, of course, if people are poor enough, they do what they have to. In the 19th and well into the 20th century, working class and agrarian children had to work from a tender age, as children in many countries still do. Makes me wonder how much more responsibility, competence and self-application our children are capable of than we give them opportunity or credit for. Makes me wonder how much of the alienation and rebellion among young people is a response to feeling surplus to their society.    

[Sensei]

7 hours ago, Externet said:

What is the typical current allowance you would give to a 10 year old these days ?

..my 10 year old would be billionaire, if would be so stupid to bother about the money like typical human being..

 

[Moontanman]

My allowance was being allowed to eat and have a roof over my head. I worked for neighbors for free but generally they would give me a quarter an hour or something like that. I bought my first gun from putting up hay one summer when I was 12 and my first motorcycle from working at a grocery store and my first piece of pizza from working for myself. 

I did give my sons money from time to time for helping but they both made money by playing trumpet at funerals and later working in grocery stores.  

[TheVat]

A lot of call for trumpets at funerals? I'm intrigued.

 

[Peterkin]

In New Orleans, I hear. And, of course, Taps for those who have served in or admired the military.

[MigL]

4 hours ago, Moontanman said:

I worked for neighbors for free but generally they would give me a quarter an hour or something like that. I bought my first gun from putting up hay one summer

I bet your hourly wage went up when you showed up to your next job with a gun ...

I'm not against kids helping out around the house and doing a few chores, but I do think their first responsibility is their school work.
Also, keep in mind that I'm ( was ) a son, but I've never been a parent, although I treat my two nephews and neice as my own kids, and even helped each of them buy their first house.
Even their friends call me Uncle Lui.

[iNow]

There are ways to reward chores without money, and likewise there are ways to reward behaviors that aren’t chores. For example, when my oldest displays an unsolicited act of kindness or does something helpful out of the blue for their sibling, I’ll often toss over a few bucks to do with as they please.

The goal of the reward is to drive future behavior. We can choose which behaviors to reward in pursuit of that end.

To the OP, amount also depends upon where one lives and how wealthy or how desperately enmeshed in poverty they are. For millions, the very idea of an allowance is itself a luxury. 

[Moontanman]

12 hours ago, TheVat said:

A lot of call for trumpets at funerals? I'm intrigued.

 

Around here they give funerals for civil war graves and they also played at military funerals. 

[Peterkin]

11 hours ago, MigL said:

I'm not against kids helping out around the house and doing a few chores, but I do think their first responsibility is their school work.

But children should not be taught to view school as their "job". They have the privilege of a free (public school) education, in return for which they will become self-supporting, informed citizens. Their going to school brings no material benefit to the family that feeds and houses and clothes and cares for them; it's their personal contract with the society at large. The other reason monetary incentive should never be attached to learning or grades is the difference in children's ability to learn, and the quality of schools and the amount of parental help and intellectual stimulation. It's impossible to set a fair standard, and if there is one crucial principle in child-rearing, it's to not only be fair, but also seen by the children to be fair.  

[Phi for All]

36 minutes ago, Peterkin said:

Their going to school brings no material benefit to the family that feeds and houses and clothes and cares for them; it's their personal contract with the society at large.

It does benefit the family directly, since they have to deal with our ignorance less as we learn.

 

37 minutes ago, Peterkin said:

The other reason monetary incentive should never be attached to learning or grades is the difference in children's ability to learn, and the quality of schools and the amount of parental help and intellectual stimulation. It's impossible to set a fair standard, and if there is one crucial principle in child-rearing, it's to not only be fair, but also seen by the children to be fair.  

I definitely disagree with this. Every kid is different, and some will buckle down and study their asses off if you give them a monetary reward for good grades. It IS impossible to set fair standards since "standard" is based on "typical", and as we're all seeing these days, divergent behavior isn't bad behavior, it's just different. In our efforts to be "fair", we often do the opposite and end up favoring a few with our standards, especially in our socially funded institutions.

[Peterkin]

35 minutes ago, Phi for All said:

It does benefit the family directly, since they have to deal with our ignorance less as we learn.

I did not share this experience. I found it considerably easier to deal with my kids in Grade 3 and 4 than in grade 10 and 11. Easier to help with the homework, too; at they actually listen when they're 8 or 9 years old; at 16, you're talking to a stone wall.

Seems to me there would be more material benefit in sending them out to deliver pizzas than paying for their school clothes, books, busfare, lunches, plus wages for going to school. 

Edited October 11, 2022 by Peterkin

[MigL]

That has nothing to do with ignorance or knowledge, Peterkin.

Until kids reach high school, or get a phone, the parents are their biggest influencers.
Once they get to high school, or get a smart phone, their friends, social contacts, and idiots on YouTube become their biggest influencers.

You better make sure they are 'grounded' ( confident, respectful and sensible ) before they get to that age

[Peterkin]

15 minutes ago, MigL said:

That has nothing to do with ignorance or knowledge, Peterkin.

Which 'that'? 'It' certainly hasn't to do with school-learning. It's ignorance of other views, options and their own perceived power to resist that makes children more compliant at a young age than when they get closer to the parent's physical size. The comparison I made in ease of handling was between grade school and high school, and the experience to which I refer predates cellphones and personal computers for every middle-class child in North America. Odds are, it predates phones, electricity, railways and toothpaste, and maybe clothes. Adolescents are contrary because they're adolescents. Nature compels them to seek their peer group, mates, confederates and leaders outside the family; it's a step toward independent adulthood. When idiot influencers pop up - on You tube, on a podium draped with flags, in a pulpit, on top of a tank, in a lecture hall or on a hill in Judea, some of the youth will follow them. T'was ever so.

 

28 minutes ago, MigL said:

You better make sure they are 'grounded' ( confident, respectful and sensible ) before they get to that age

Yes. That's why I would be concerned about the kind of people I was raising - what kind of values I was instilling in them - if I paid them money* for their investment of effort in their own future.

*rather than praise for effort, solace in failure, encouragement, admonishment, guidance and whatever help they need

[Intoscience]

I think its a good thing that children learn  about values as young as possible. There should be a balance and this should be determined by age/maturity also. Kids at 10 are old enough to understand basic values and old enough to do some chores to contribute towards the family unit. However they are still young enough that they should have the freedom to play and enjoy their experiences.

My parents were quite strict in comparison to modern times, though by contrast likely quite lenient compared to their own upbringing. I don't think either me and my siblings, or either of my parents suffered as a result. I do believe though, that in comparison to the modern young generation, the older generations are more respectful and appreciate the value in things much more. Though this is my perspective and opinion, my experiences with my own children, and certainly the younger generation I work with, seems to hold true.  

Edited October 12, 2022 by Intoscience

[John Cuthber]

On 10/11/2022 at 2:16 AM, TheVat said:

A lot of call for trumpets at funerals? I'm intrigued.

 

People would pay me not to play.

It's interesting. I recognise the desire to teach kids the value of work.
But, if you pay them to do chores, you undermine the idea that they should do them simply because they need to be done. 

[Peterkin]

One of the things for which I'm grateful to my mother is the enjoyment of work. Whatever we were helping her to do turned into a game - and not just when we were little tykes, either, but well into our teens. Even things like cleaning the poultry pens or tarring the roof, which are really crappy jobs on the face of it, can be fun when you're joking back and forth. I notice other people at various tasks: they can be grimly earnest about pastimes like football or a theatrical performance, while one of the happiest human interactions one can observe is a group of men conferring over a critically ill engine. Work and play are not mutually inimical concepts; they occupy overlapping ranges on a spectrum of human activities. 

In adult society, money perverts the entire spectrum. I would prefer to keep business transactions out of the family altogether, but children need some cash to get by in the world outside. Every parent needs to strike a balance of all the lessons and skills a human needs to become a fully functioning adult. 

2 hours ago, John Cuthber said:

People would pay me not to play.

What a great racket! Like the squeegee kids in the underpass. My daughter tried that with food prep - worked so slowly and badly, I had to fire her. Fortunately, just about then her younger brother developed an interest in cooking and turned into quite a useful sou-chef. She got stuck with his share of the dish-washing.

Edited October 12, 2022 by Peterkin