Guidelines to Happiness

[Steve81]

1 minute ago, iNow said:

Your entire thread is about happiness. How do you define that?

Fundamentally, self-worth, and being comfortable with who you are. The "guidelines" do lot to promote that, along with other factors. Being kind and helpful to others tends to build self-worth, both because we often get positive feedback for doing so, and because we can feel like we give things a good faith effort. Learning tends to build self-worth. I feel stronger learning something new, like when @Genady taught me something I didn't know about black holes. Engaging in what I'm doing focuses me, and makes me less error prone, which is helpful for self-worth. Apologizing and admitting you were wrong sometimes takes great strength, and can build self-worth if you realize it. Not dwelling on your mistakes is helpful for self-worth. 

To turn the question on its head, if you don't think you are worth anything, how could you ever possibly be considered happy?

[iNow]

3 minutes ago, Steve81 said:

if you don't think you are worth anything, how could you ever possibly be considered happy?

Brain injury? Narcotics? Sex? Food when hungry. Water when thirsty... All of those things could lead to happiness even in the face of lacking self-worth

[Steve81]

1 minute ago, iNow said:

Brain injury? Narcotics? Sex? Food when hungry. Water when thirsty... All of those things could lead to happiness even in the face of lacking self-worth

Brain injury? Sure, but I wouldn't want to go that route, would you?

I have abused narcotics extensively in my past. They make you feel good for a time, but they don't make you happy. They simply make it such that you don't mind being sad.

Sex? Not really. It's enjoyable no doubt, but in and of itself, it's meaningless.

Food when hungry, water when thirsty? Those are in the guidelines too, as needs. But merely fulfilling one's basest needs isn't enough to achieve happiness. That's merely surviving.

 

[iNow]

You asked how it was possible. I gave like 6 different ways off the top of my head. I wasn’t advocating for any of them, just answering the question as you posed it. 

[Steve81]

5 minutes ago, iNow said:

You asked how it was possible. I gave like 6 different ways off the top of my head. I wasn’t advocating for any of them, just answering the question as you posed it. 

No worries. Here is what Google has to say on happiness.

Happiness Definition | What Is Happiness (berkeley.edu)

 In her 2007 book The How of Happiness, positive psychology researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky elaborates, describing happiness as “the experience of joy, contentment, or positive well-being, combined with a sense that one’s life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile.”

What Is Happiness and How Can You Become Happier? (verywellmind.com)

Typically, happiness is an emotional state characterized by feelings of joy, satisfaction, contentment, and fulfillment. While happiness has many different definitions, it is often described as involving positive emotions and life satisfaction.

Self-Worth: 4 Ways to Improve Your Self Esteem - The Berkeley Well-Being Institute (berkeleywellbeing.com)

Self-worth appears to be the best predictor of happiness – even more so than 19 other happiness skills including gratitude and strong personal relationships.

[dimreepr]

20 hours ago, Steve81 said:

Happiness is just a state of mind. I don’t need much in the way of material objects to get there. Give me a balloon, and I can play with my sons for hours. That brings me joy, and adds to my happiness.

Words are important if you want convey understanding, the problem you've got is that you're trying to shoehorn one word into another, you're trying to equate peace of mind with happy. Happiness is a state of mind that can't possibly endure, imagine this; you play with your son and the balloon pops, it startles you (we can't help it, it's a different state of mind) and sends you of balance, you fall onto your son and in a freak accident he dies.

Would that add to your happiness?

If you want a guide to contentment/peace of mind, read any of the major bible's and in none of them will you find a hedonistic approach to the problem.

It's a very difficult concept to understand, which you must do before you try and teach other's, otherwise all you 'can' do, is confuse them. 

 

[Genady]

Looks like all you need to do is to find a better word than 'happiness.' Guidelines to satisfaction? 

[dimreepr]

11 hours ago, Steve81 said:

I have abused narcotics extensively in my past. They make you feel good for a time, but they don't make you happy.

Exactly.

Just now, Genady said:

Looks like all you need to do is to find a better word than 'happiness.' Guidelines to satisfaction? 

What's the difference? 

[iNow]

2 minutes ago, dimreepr said:

What's the difference? 

I’m often satisfied when my grocery bill,is below $100, but that doesn’t mean I’m happy about the transaction. 

[dimreepr]

1 minute ago, iNow said:

I’m often satisfied when my grocery bill,is below $100, but that doesn’t mean I’m happy about the transaction. 

Yet there both fleeting sensation's, which was more my point.

 

[iNow]

Thanks for clarifying, but everything is fleeting at some point… even life itself. 

[dimreepr]

1 minute ago, iNow said:

Thanks for clarifying, but everything is fleeting at some point… even life itself. 

Indeed, but what better way to spend it than peacefully? 

[iNow]

Passionately 

[dimreepr]

3 minutes ago, iNow said:

Passionately 

Do I have to?

[Steve81]

1 hour ago, Genady said:

Looks like all you need to do is to find a better word than 'happiness.' Guidelines to satisfaction? 

Bingo!

1 hour ago, iNow said:

Passionately 

Agreed!

[dimreepr]

21 hours ago, Steve81 said:

Bingo!

Agreed!

What do you think you're agreeing to?

[Steve81]

1 minute ago, dimreepr said:

What do you think you're agreeing to?

Living passionately is superior to simple survival or contentment.

 

[dimreepr]

Just now, Steve81 said:

Living passionately is superior to simple survival or contentment.

 

How?

Your version of passionate is heavily biased by your culture, what if I/you can't live up to that version?

Does that mean my/our life has no value?

[iNow]

One cannot be passionate if they can’t first survive. See also: Maslow

[Steve81]

1 hour ago, dimreepr said:

How?

Your version of passionate is heavily biased by your culture, what if I/you can't live up to that version?

Does that mean my/our life has no value?

It helps to be passionate about something that is perceived as “good” in your culture. A nigh universal “good” is serving others. To wit, every society that has some concept or another of a physician considers the profession noble, even if individual physicians may not live up to that ideal.

To expound further, consider the case of a physician that is passionate about what he does vs one who merely does it for a paycheck. Assuming all else is equal, who is likely to have better patient outcomes? Who is less likely to “burn out” due to the demands of the profession? 
 

As to value, that is entirely subjective. I would only suggest that you live such that you feel you are valuable. Objectively, we’re nothing more than the product of a curious series of events that happened in the right place and at the right time. We are a speck in the vastness of the time and space that is the universe.

20 minutes ago, iNow said:

One cannot be passionate if they can’t first survive. See also: Maslow

Absolutely agree.

[dimreepr]

20 hours ago, Steve81 said:

It helps to be passionate about something that is perceived as “good” in your culture. A nigh universal “good” is serving others. To wit, every society that has some concept or another of a physician considers the profession noble, even if individual physicians may not live up to that ideal.

What if you're stuck as a bin man or sewer man? Not a noble practice but every bit as essential for our survival, the lucky one's love the job.

20 hours ago, Steve81 said:

It helps to be passionate about something that is perceived as “good” in your culture. A nigh universal “good” is serving others. To wit, every society that has some concept or another of a physician considers the profession noble, even if individual physicians may not live up to that ideal.

To expound further, consider the case of a physician that is passionate about what he does vs one who merely does it for a paycheck. Assuming all else is equal, who is likely to have better patient outcomes? Who is less likely to “burn out” due to the demands of the profession? 
 

As to value, that is entirely subjective. I would only suggest that you live such that you feel you are valuable. Objectively, we’re nothing more than the product of a curious series of events that happened in the right place and at the right time. We are a speck in the vastness of the time and space that is the universe.

Absolutely agree.

Don't get me wrong, I can't imagine a more peaceful existance than being consumed by a passion of some sort (excluding the obvious exceptions), I almost envy them, if I wasn't at peace with doing the bare minimum.

 

[Steve81]

23 minutes ago, dimreepr said:

What if you're stuck as a bin man or sewer man? Not a noble practice but every bit as essential for our survival, the lucky one's love the job.

Don't get me wrong, I can't imagine a more peaceful existance than being consumed by a passion of some sort (excluding the obvious exceptions), I almost envy them, if I wasn't at peace with doing the bare minimum.

 

Your examples are noble professions.

Edited August 24, 2023 by Steve81

[dimreepr]

32 minutes ago, Steve81 said:

Your examples are noble professions.

Every professional think they're noble, even those from less than noble profession's (for me, the most ignominious of which is insurance).

Let's get back to your topic title; you can't teach other's something, if you don't fully undersatand the topic... 😉

21 hours ago, Steve81 said:

To expound further, consider the case of a physician that is passionate about what he does vs one who merely does it for a paycheck. Assuming all else is equal, who is likely to have better patient outcomes? Who is less likely to “burn out” due to the demands of the profession? 

It depends on what the physician is pationate about?

To get back to the 'bible' talk, yin-yang pretty much covers this... 🙏

Edited August 24, 2023 by dimreepr

[Genady]

37 minutes ago, dimreepr said:

Every professional think they're noble

This is factually incorrect.

 

37 minutes ago, dimreepr said:

you can't teach other's something, if you don't fully undersatand the topic

This is also factually incorrect.

[dimreepr]

14 minutes ago, Genady said:

This is factually incorrect.

 

This is also factually incorrect.

Present your facts, as they relate to the topic, please...