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Who do I vote for to aid singles suffering involuntary celibacy


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Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, MSC said:

Honestly, you really need to spend a bit of time in introspection and ask yourself what is it about you that turns women off? 

Flip a coin. The reality on that is you never know what someone else is thinking. Which is why verbal communication has to be literal, like "we are dating" and in English. It's so chaotic that everything does need to follow a very thin line as was critiqued, planned ahead of time, and the rules of engagement need to be spelled out. Does it take the fun out of things, well look at how I'm suddenly being compared to Ted Bundy THAT'S WHY. 

This is as ridiculous as the housing market, and the couples I see around me during this time is the icing on the cake. Maybe when we die we wake up to a more stable plane of existence, either way I'm carrying what I really know about non-people, about technology and physics, to my grave if it's going to be like this. 

28 minutes ago, iNow said:

Only bc you have this as your preconception.

No it's my experience, which is why I would like to do a Jason Bourne and go full amnesia. Just like getting stuck in involuntary celibacy we are imprisoned by our memories. Get rid of mine why don't you, then if I did end up on the news I would be able to give one of those annoying and pointless confessions. Or if it's an AA group how could I 9th step something I don't remember. "Whatever do you mean?". Like I was saying you can have a room full of geniuses, and in fact throughout human history until Einstein published a paper all the worlds minds put together couldn't figure it out for thousands of years. Here we're looking at a situation where you have to have the exact set of memories and experiences in order to find one gem of information. Imagination though, and I wouldn't blame him looking at the pictures, he never published said paper because he felt he was lowering his standards when marrying his wife. More whining but if we're being honest, I don't care. If I were a William Sidis with a six pack have less to negate my shame for being so selfish, but when you add up all of the ridiculousness I've been set aside for that seems to be genuine as far as I can tell, I absolutely say these things without apology. 

2 hours ago, MSC said:

Earlier you dismissed the idea of clubs and group's as a means to meet likeminded women as ineffectual when what you really mean is you have some level of awareness that you can't initiate anything romantic or sexual in a group setting but you're not confident in your ability to get women to the point where they feel safe enough to leave a group and it doesn't seem like you'd be patient enough to do what it takes. 

MSC was spot on. This is a fine level of difficulty, if psychology was my major but I know more about math, physics, tech. Now if I added psychology to my studies I wouldn't be any good in those areas but without beneficial intervention or aid by the world really I'd just end up sharing only what I need to and leaving the real good stuff out in my own field of work. So one does actually depend on something totally unrelated because I am person. But I am done with people. For now. 

2 hours ago, MSC said:

...

You were uncanny in your assessment of my assessment of using groups for dating, which is one of very few options for someone who is displaced among strangers, but the reality is ya know ya really shouldn't use a group for dating. Being labelled is just a slip on the wrist for someone like me and adds nothing constructive to society. I feel I was displaced by a bunch of psycho-assessors such as yourself, to toy with someone in a no win situation for refusing to bow his head in the past. Because 100% of the available groups are comedically labelled as church groups where using a group for dating would be especially scorned upon if I didn't see that exact behavior in spades already without me. That's ridiculousness of my situation, that and the abuse of private rooms all around me when I in all reality shouldn't be here, but there's no other candidate due to the housing market. It's been a joke from the start. 

The entirety of the rest of you psychoanalytic nonsense is such because it just tries to get me to blame myself. Which doesn't contribute someone that is well versed in keeping his resentments in check. Genuine cold heartedness aside. 

So really the issue is not being unfair to others in the process of helping me. So if it came between fulfilling my wishes at the cost of making me look like I don't deserve it for a time and keeping me stuck in this cycle, of course it's just like society to pick the latter. So what I was saying about the easy way or the hard way, the census would declare in a thick southern accent, "givem the hard way!"

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54 minutes ago, ImplicitDemands said:

he reality on that is you never know what someone else is thinking. Which is why verbal communication has to be literal, like "we are dating" and in English. It's so chaotic that everything does need to follow a very thin line as was critiqued, planned ahead of time, and the rules of engagement need to be spelled out. Does it take the fun out of things, well look at how I'm suddenly being compared to Ted Bundy THAT'S WHY. 

That does not really sound like regular interactions to me. While I am far more comfortable in direct, clear interactions, I am sufficiently aware that humans don't work like that. A lot, if not most of communication is contextual and one has to learn to provide context. 

I see a lot of retroactive rationalisation and some attempts to disguise it as science, though most is just justification not to do things. Most people who are in long-term relationship did not meet with the intent of dating. They became friends because of common interest and at some point fell in love. If you go in with your weird system on how you things should be, folks will pick up on the context and I can tell you, it is difficult to become friend with someone who doesn't seem to see you as the person you are. What seems to happen is that your preconceptions crash with reality. If you were scientifically minded, you would try to address the preconceptions, rather than to reconstruct reality.

 

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Just wondering ...
Do you have male friends ?
If sex ( with women ) isn't your primary focus, how are you able to have male friends but not female friends ?

Become 'friends' with women, just as you do with males.
You'll find that what makes them attractive and interesting isn't their looks.
And the situation is symmetrical; what makes you attractive is not your looks either.

On the other hand, what makes you unattractive is your state of mind.
And neither politicians, nor society, can change that; only you can.

INow has been kind to you with his comments.
I would have said "Grow up. It's too late for middle school, teenage sexual angst".

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Posted (edited)
36 minutes ago, CharonY said:

That does not really sound like regular interactions to me. While I am far more comfortable in direct, clear interactions, I am sufficiently aware that humans don't work like that. A lot, if not most of communication is contextual and one has to learn to provide context. 

I see a lot of retroactive rationalisation and some attempts to disguise it as science, though most is just justification not to do things. Most people who are in long-term relationship did not meet with the intent of dating. They became friends because of common interest and at some point fell in love. If you go in with your weird system on how you things should be, folks will pick up on the context and I can tell you, it is difficult to become friend with someone who doesn't seem to see you as the person you are. What seems to happen is that your preconceptions crash with reality. If you were scientifically minded, you would try to address the preconceptions, rather than to reconstruct reality.

 

In order to rid yourself of preconceptions just forget the past. It's not reconstructing reality the unfair rules for me do not apply to others. There's plenty of history on me for one to feel intimately about me, but that is mitigated between everyone I've ever interacted with and being constantly transition, as far as I can tell all of that was for nothing as of right now. This is why I want to forget, not reconstruct reality. It is five times more taxing to start over. I feel as though if you take an average person, I get taxed one hundred times heavier for everything. 

4 minutes ago, MigL said:

Just wondering ...
Do you have male friends ?
If sex ( with women ) isn't your primary focus, how are you able to have male friends but not female friends ?

Become 'friends' with women, just as you do with males.
You'll find that what makes them attractive and interesting isn't their looks.
And the situation is symmetrical; what makes you attractive is not your looks either.

On the other hand, what makes you unattractive is your state of mind.
And neither politicians, nor society, can change that; only you can.

INow has been kind to you with his comments.
I would have said "Grow up. It's too late for middle school, teenage sexual angst".

These days everyone flakes out on me. People are taxing, but in general if you add up how busy I've been and how much extra work I have to put in for things that are actually simple in reality but made more difficult just for me, I'm involuntarily friendless for the same reason I'm involuntarily celibate. Lack of aid. 

19 minutes ago, MigL said:

Become 'friends' with women
You'll find that what makes them attractive and interesting isn't their looks.

Looks are a prerequisite for me for reasons I've explained. I'd imagine they are a prerequisite for most women if they are for me. Looks are nothing, I agree, yet without being under a certain age or at least appearing under a certain age you don't stand a chance. That's all they are. Then there's everything else I need which differs from person to person but familiarity? And a relationship is a form of friendship, the feeling of comfortability or disgust even, doesn't mean you can't love someone, but with certain looks you can't really give off that platonic vibe. Which is what I mean by a prereg. You know that feeling you got when your mommy was showing you too much affection in front of others? 

Anyway, familiarity okay, you can't know what someone is thinking, the closest thing you can get is familiarity. You see why it's taxing to keep starting over, but here I am starting over again. 

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22 minutes ago, ImplicitDemands said:

things that are actually simple in reality but made more difficult just for me

Please explain this to me. What things exactly are you talking about? Who or what makes it more difficult just for you? Please be specific.

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Posted (edited)

You can tell a lot by looks too, texture, weight, essentially feel, and different hair colors and skin color can have various effects on various psychologies. That's light therapy is a thing. Accent, phonetics, blah blah blah the list goes on if something about any of those things irritates me, it's strange that's exactly what my only options are. 

22 minutes ago, zapatos said:

Please explain this to me. What things exactly are you talking about? Who or what makes it more difficult just for you? Please be specific.

Too taxing to go over every nuance of the bs I have to deal with in life, in general I don't see them getting away with this. No literally I look around and everyone else is floating on clouds. 

Edited by ImplicitDemands
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Posted (edited)
5 hours ago, MSC said:

you'd be patient

Have you studied how patient chronic pain sufferers are when waiting for a cure. Constant pain, invol celibacy always agonizing the back of your mind.

For the most part manageable but Some days, ya know when I'm shaving my torso and cutting 40 pounds and then counting every calorie while doing all kinds of muscle groups when they make it difficult for me to get a decent spotter to help me go past failure to make sure that if I gain even an ounce of muscle there is zero fat to come with, having razor burns from shaving every hair that isn't on my eyebrow or head where it's fricken supposed to be, and I see an athletic woman go into a dorm with some fat furry who's too lazy to shave probably doing some pseudo major.

On days like that imagine the gritty details of the sound of a snapping branch looking at how Conor Mcgregor's leg broke in half. And those days happen, OFTEN. Yeah I don't expect to live out the semester I'm going to quit, quote me on that. 

I'm going to need a lot more than patience. I'm going to need the census to be impatient regarding my case if I hope to be able to accomplish anything, because it really sets your adhd on overdrive. I turned 18, thirteen years ago, would you like me to go into detail how bad my first and only time was?  I don't think so. 

On 6/17/2024 at 11:02 AM, geordief said:

Maybe incels could be offered  subsidized transgender ops  as women never seem to have this problem?

The level in which women lower their sexual experience to me is disgusting, raunchy, infuriating, silly, ludicrous. So yeah, technical incels, women obviously have this problem. I saw them lowering their standards far too frequently. 

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Posted (edited)
On 6/19/2024 at 9:58 PM, ImplicitDemands said:

My only two dates have been achieved through sharing a class or two

One of them wasn't explicated as a date, we never said we were dating. Really there wasn't a kiss even. It was just an exchange of massages. It was purely unsexual yet I prefer that experience over any sexual encounter I've had. It was the person really. How did I mess that up? Well it started with me not consolidating a relationship, then the actual point of disconnect was my fault, the result of frustration really. That was the only thing I attribute to breaking the perpetual cycle of invol cel. but that particular relationship I am referring to didn't involve sex so I am not generally talking about actual sex. So the losing of my virginity is still technically during being an incel. To be clear, losing virginity is the penetration of the sex organ. So I'm modifying the definition of the term to serious relationship (not incel) versus clown relationship (during incel).

Of course every aspect of my life is worse now, I'm better in every way but the quality of my life is regulated at an extremely low standard, especially concerning any relationship. Family relationships are either purely stress or extremely distant/non-existent with absolutely no help financially. I get more help from the government than from family and that help just ends up with a setup like this where my quality of life is lowered at least related to how things used to be. Friendships are poor/non-existent. There's zero romantic prospects. Just getting it all out there in the open. 

So there really needs to be a government policy to ensure there aren't future cancelled Einstein's due to a broken relationship with one's government. Although Einstein did leave Germany, I don't have that kind of patience to learn a new language and start over like he did. Unlike him I'd just keep the big stuff to myself until either things change or I'd just carry it to my grave. 

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6 hours ago, ImplicitDemands said:

The level in which women lower their sexual experience to me is disgusting, raunchy, infuriating, silly, ludicrous.

Oh.How do they do that? What ,specifically do they do (or not do) to you or others that makes you say that? 

 

To the OP ,maybe something like self awareness classes could be promoted by the council. 

I would run a mile  but some would in all likelihood benefit and perhaps there would be a benefit to society in general  and ,who knows the classes might bring pleasure (and even be places where people could meet and later fall in love)

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7 hours ago, ImplicitDemands said:

because it really sets your adhd on overdrive. 

This is information that would have been helpful earlier in the thread.

You need to consult with a mental health professional.  Addressing the ADHD should take priority over trying to reshape yourself as some sort of ideal dating prospect.  Men do not need to shave their torso to be attractive to women, btw.  

Your writing style had me wondering if there might be ADHD.  A professional can help you with, among other things, your style of communication - this could have a useful effect on your social interactions.  And they can get into the thickets with you about specific situations you are getting into, which is far more valuable than putting vague and meandering descriptions of your struggles on the Internet.

8 hours ago, ImplicitDemands said:

The level in which women lower their sexual experience to me is disgusting, raunchy, infuriating, silly, ludicrous

Four out of those five are what make sex such fun.  That you find them infuriating is, again, something to work out with a therapist.  One day you might be able to enjoy the silliness along with the raunchiness.  

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10 hours ago, ImplicitDemands said:

Too taxing to go over every nuance of the bs I have to deal with in life, in general I don't see them getting away with this. No literally I look around and everyone else is floating on clouds. 

Appearances can be deceiving. Everybody, and I mean everybody, is dealing with something. Some are dealing with lots of things. It’s easy to think that you’re the only one.

Consider this example: in a country with a constant population of 36.5 million people, and an average lifespan of 100 years, a thousand people die each day, on average. They have friends and family, so tens of thousands of people are dealing with news of this loss. Every day. Many more are dealing with lesser crises. It’s just that most of them don’t show it. You not seeing it doesn’t mean it’s not there.

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13 hours ago, ImplicitDemands said:

Have you studied how patient chronic pain sufferers are when waiting for a cure. Constant pain, invol celibacy always agonizing the back of your mind.

This is utter nonsense and in no way comparable. Folks with chronic pain do get reminded of their predicament by the very nature of well, being in pain. But most of the time they cope with it in order to function. Not everyone is successful of course and it depends on how debilitating the pain is. Also chronic pain sufferers don't sit around and wait for a cure, usually because there is none. They learn to deal wit it. You saying that not getting what you want and to your standards to boot is akin to saying that non-billionaires suffer because not being insufferably rich is going to be constantly at the back of their mind.

 

14 hours ago, ImplicitDemands said:

In order to rid yourself of preconceptions just forget the past.

Nope, the term you are looking for is "learn". We change our preconceptions regularly by learning new things. Or should be, in any case. Dwelling and elevating the past over new experiences is a choice, though.

 

15 hours ago, ImplicitDemands said:

Looks are a prerequisite for me for reasons I've explained. I'd imagine they are a prerequisite for most women if they are for me.

I can state for a fact that this not the case and you should not assume your limited worldview to be universally transferable. There are all types of women, of course. But from personal experience I can tell you that for example having a great and compatible sense of humour is often way more important.

13 hours ago, ImplicitDemands said:

The level in which women lower their sexual experience to me is disgusting, raunchy, infuriating, silly, ludicrous. So yeah, technical incels, women obviously have this problem. I saw them lowering their standards far too frequently. 

Again, this points to your attitude way more than your looks. Wayyyyy more. It may surprise you, but meeting someone who judges them from them get go is not very endearing. As highlighted throughout your posts, you feel judged by certain folks and complain about it. Now turn that around and try to view your behavior and attitude from their perspective.

 

 

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Posted (edited)
9 hours ago, geordief said:

Oh.How do they do that? What ,specifically do they do (or not do) to you or others that makes you say that? 

A guy who doesn't take a challenging degree, overdoses on comfort food and can eat feelings away that he does not need, having mommy and daddy pay his way through, doesn't take it seriously, doesn't bother with his hair, beard, exercise - to me it is disgusting that when it comes to women I get his female equivalent forced upon me and my female equivalent is stuck with him whilst making it impossible for me to have my fair shot - this is infuriating. If anyone actually feels like I'm out of line here than they truly are delusional. 

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3 minutes ago, ImplicitDemands said:

A guy who doesn't take a challenging degree, overdoses on comfort food and can eat feelings away that he does not need, having mommy and daddy pay his way through, doesn't take it seriously, doesn't bother with his hair, beard, exercise - to me it is disgusting that when it comes to women I get his female equivalent forced upon me and my female equivalent is stuck with him whilst making it impossible for me to have my fair shot - this is infuriating. If anyone actually feels like I'm out of line here than they truly are delusional. 

I really think you are missing something big here. Women aren't ignoring you because you are in great shape and honest. You are guessing, and doing a poor job of it. You need to get a straight answer from those who don't want to talk to you, why they feel that way. Get some real feedback.

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Posted (edited)
4 hours ago, CharonY said:

This is utter nonsense and in no way comparable. Folks with chronic pain do get reminded of their predicament by the very nature of well, being in pain. But most of the time they cope with it in order to function. Not everyone is successful of course and it depends on how debilitating the pain is. Also chronic pain sufferers don't sit around and wait for a cure, usually because there is none. They learn to deal wit it. You saying that not getting what you want and to your standards to boot is akin to saying that non-billionaires suffer because not being insufferably rich is going to be constantly at the back of their mind.

You don't know how this feels, you have no idea. You think logically it isn't constantly irritating to the point that it's painful? Can you actually truly quantify what it is exactly that I am feeling daily, enough to say it's not as great a quantity as chronic pain? That it actually doesn't make things unmanageable for me? It is a primary need according to your psychologists.

Poverty is apart of it, the two are not mutually exclusive, the lack of aid (through finances or otherwise) is a some of that weight thrown on top of the camel's back, visiting a particularly odd event that I mentions is the mere feather on the cap of the camel rider added that finally broke its back.

Some organization needs to do something about it. There's nothing that I'm not changing, be-it sobriety, seeking help, or joining group. I do not blame myself, I blame all you! You people fail to grasp the gravity the situation when it already had become dangerous in the past, multiple times. If you knew what this feels like through my lens. 

13 minutes ago, zapatos said:

I really think you are missing something big here. Women aren't ignoring you because you are in great shape and honest. You are guessing, and doing a poor job of it. You need to get a straight answer from those who don't want to talk to you, why they feel that way. Get some real feedback.

Then I look like a desperate loser. Which I guess looking at some of the advice here is the intent. It was obviously the same nefarious advice given by a "mental health professional", that and mind altering substances which btw would have been equivalent to all the pros and cons of marijuana with some extra nefarious side effects thrown it in order to make it legal. Right, nor should they. Because it's either me against the world, or it's a free for all. Obviously it's not a free for all or our lazy ginger furry friend wouldn't be spoiled rotten, so what are we left with? Everyone against me.

Again I'm not going to build a log cabin and become a hermit, because shaving would be difficult, just because society has a sadistic sense of humor. Just don't expect me to patent important parts I've left out, like how a micro-induction motor can be used to alter the pixelated output via touchscreen inputs as well as work with an exciton laser to send and receive graphics to other devices. This is the bluetooth, wifi, and any remote electronic service works, and a lot of people would like it for free. 

Edited by ImplicitDemands
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14 minutes ago, ImplicitDemands said:

Then I look like a desperate loser.

Apparently they think that already. Why not find out WHY they think you are a desperate loser. Then you'll have some idea what to change. Obviously your current method of guessing is not successful.

 

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Posted (edited)
21 minutes ago, zapatos said:

Apparently they think that already. Why not find out WHY they think you are a desperate loser. Then you'll have some idea what to change. Obviously your current method of guessing is not successful.

 

"They" don't give me the chance to notice, even when I change my appearance. I'm just saying of a person (and I mean woman but we need to be all nonbinary, discrete and implicit in the real world to maintain appearances) that I nudged away just randomly started haranguing me why, I would intuit desperation. 

I would seriously reconsider the advice you've provided for anyone in any situation. Especially an extra unfair, extra high-stakes, dating difficulty on maximum mode situation. You should take about to month to reconsider what I've provided about my situation, and then another month of consultation with experts, before assessing my situation. Again you don't do stuff like that, but if it's an elected official in the United States Government, and they took it as seriously as they do policies that get votes, then maybe I'd get more than just ultra-convoluted advice, it'd be an arranged situation, with devotional vids about me provided prior that are geared to show the positive so as to be more appealing to my strengths and less revealing of my faults, seeing as how that is the process candidates use to sway votes. 

I really am that petty considering the past, I am more interested in immediate results or some outward change in pattern, than any further precautions I'd need to partake. And for what I feel is good reason. These are those dramatic explicit demands that I'd rather avoid making. If you'd think about the best way to set up a relationship between families, as in arranged marriage, they usually set up events throughout the weeks designed to encourage a sort of bond between the desired couple knowing them on a deeper level and one family being able to relay that information to the other family. 

Instead, the government of the modern era has a file under your SSN that doesn't even list your accomplishments, just an arrest record if you've ever fucked up one time. Which is shared without permission to employers. The rest is left to you to self-promote, at least from what I've been TOLD. Now I don't actually believe society is actually THAT petty. But if they are I'm petty enough to shamelessly make demands like that. Because I feel like I've done enough to deserve better than scraps. 

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46 minutes ago, ImplicitDemands said:

A guy who doesn't take a challenging degree, overdoses on comfort food and can eat feelings away that he does not need, having mommy and daddy pay his way through, doesn't take it seriously, doesn't bother with his hair, beard, exercise - to me it is disgusting that when it comes to women I get his female equivalent forced upon me and my female equivalent is stuck with him whilst making it impossible for me to have my fair shot - this is infuriating. If anyone actually feels like I'm out of line here than they truly are delusional. 

Well if you don't bother answering my question  then I won't waste my time and yours any longer.

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11 hours ago, swansont said:

Maybe it’s the repeated mentions of celibacy?

I mean there are plenty of female chimpanzees out there. Also female kangaroos. But what kind of quality of life can one have with a female that can't even form a single word? When people say celibacy they really mean quality friction between what themselves and what they feel is an appropriate woman, someone of value. Which, I couldn't even tell you what that would entail because honestly living like this I don't feel the purpose of it anymore. 

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5 minutes ago, ImplicitDemands said:

When people say celibacy they really mean quality friction between what themselves and what they feel is an appropriate woman, someone of value.

No, they don't. Well, maybe you, but that's all.

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Posted (edited)
21 minutes ago, geordief said:

Well if you don't bother answering my question  then I won't waste my time and yours any longer.

I tried to answer using the comparison of how much effort I put in compared to whoever they picked based on outward appearance, you know the fruits of labor displayed as features such as grooming, physique, etc. Do you mean in what way do they lower their standards as in what goes inside the dorm? Again the entire comparison of college performance or source of funding was entirely exaggerated to the worst possible outcome by me, because I feel this is me living the sum of my worst fears. I fought hard not to go in their or listen or hear anything. I'd compare the experience to prison rape as a whole just because of how messed up celibacy has made my mind.

So how then is my situation not as bad as chronic pain? R.U.M.O, resentment upon missing out. All the effort put in keeping everything clean tiddy, wasted for someone with lazier lifestyle. 

4 hours ago, CharonY said:

Nope, the term you are looking for is "learn".

Come on, after what's been written, we're past that don't ya think?

This thread is about the governments ability to provide social security. When for me there were clearly zero precautions taken, down to the dividing and separation of family, and subsequent displacement into unfamiliarity, and all the dating disadvantages, and the detrimental psychological effects that comes with that whole entire bundle of f you. I got the full package. I mean if they care enough to get the detail of certain events under an SSN or teach me calculus, they should have cared enough to take precautions to avoid said mental health problems from developing. This "attitude" or where my mind goes, is not innately apart of my personality, it's just a foreign element. 

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10 minutes ago, ImplicitDemands said:

I'd compare the experience to prison rape as a whole just because of how messed up celibacy has made my mind.

I doubt it is celibacy that has messed up your mind. It is messed up for other reasons which causes you freak out about celibacy. Do you think all celibate priests, prisoners, people stranded on desert islands, etc. are all going through everything you've been rambling about here?

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1 hour ago, ImplicitDemands said:

I mean there are plenty of female chimpanzees out there. Also female kangaroos. But what kind of quality of life can one have with a female that can't even form a single word? When people say celibacy they really mean quality friction between what themselves and what they feel is an appropriate woman, someone of value. Which, I couldn't even tell you what that would entail because honestly living like this I don't feel the purpose of it anymore. 

celibacy: “abstention from sexual intercourse”

Which is clearly the definition from the way “incel” is described. If you mean something different, use a better narrative. 

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2 hours ago, ImplicitDemands said:

If anyone actually feels like I'm out of line here than they truly are delusional. 

That's funny.
One guy, telling everyone else that it is they who are delusional ...

2 hours ago, ImplicitDemands said:

Then I look like a desperate loser.

I don't know what you look like, but I doubt it.
You do, however, act, talk, and think like one.
Do you think that's an attractive quality ????

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