A Treatise on the Existance of Santa Clause

[YeahScience]

By: Two totally verified science experts

 

So recently, me and another science expert were deliberating on the topic of Santa Clause. Was he real? Was he plausible? We thought not. However, the other science expert came up with a theory that sounds totally absurd at first, but if you think about it it makes a lot of sense. We then continued to add some plausible, key facts to it, and we have now formulated a theory. Ok, so here goes the explanation: So you guys know how a LOT of people think Santa is made up because he isn't 'scientifically' possible or real? Well, Santa Claus was based off of St. Nicholas of Myra, who basically lived in Constantinople in present-day Turkey from AD 270 to AD 343. He basically was the real life santa, because he gave presents to everyone and food too. We think that Santa Clause may just be the ghost and spirit of St. Nicholas of Myra! Think about it: Santa Clause can see everyone at the same time, so he has to be a spirit, right? Also, how else would be able to fly? Ghosts can transport and transform themselves into anything they want! You might be wondering, "How does he eat the milk and the cookies?". Well, everything he touches or bites into turns into a spirit too, but it leaves a physical dent on the cookie. So why don't all of his presents turn into spirits? Well, thank so the elves, the presents have a certain aura and force field that protects them, kinda like a bodyguard! Santa being a spirit also explains how is IMMORTAL, and how he can fit down chimney roofs even thought he is kinda fat (5'7, 220, he definatly has diabetes). So yeah, think about it!

 

Thank you,

 

2 Science Experts

[swansont]

2 minutes ago, YeahScience said:

totally verified science experts

Verified by whom? The local substance abuse champion?

[studiot]

8 minutes ago, swansont said:

Verified by whom? The local substance abuse champion?

By whom?

Walt Disney of course.

😀

[zapatos]

15 minutes ago, YeahScience said:

me and another science expert

For some reason I think youse guys ain't experts.

[Mordred]

I find it rather curious to see a post from a claimed science expert but the post itself has no evidence of applying a scientific method beyond a little historical detail.

 

[YeahScience]

26 minutes ago, Mordred said:

I find it rather curious to see a post from a claimed science expert but the post itself has no evidence of applying a scientific method beyond a little historical detail.

 

Yeah we aren't it was a joke

[Mordred]

2 hours ago, YeahScience said:

Yeah we aren't it was a joke

Then I would think it's safe to assume the entirety of the post is part of the joke.

Lol I wouldn't want to see an experiment performed by not buying Christmas presents for your children in Santa's name to see if gifts get delivered or not.

Edited September 20 by Mordred

[YeahScience]

lol

[Peterkin]

3 hours ago, YeahScience said:

Well, Santa Claus was based off of St. Nicholas of Myra, who basically lived in Constantinople in present-day Turkey from AD 270 to AD 343.

This was not a secret. https://www.stnicholascenter.org/who-is-st-nicholas

3 hours ago, YeahScience said:

We think that Santa Clause may just be the ghost and spirit of St. Nicholas of Myra!

Right. We see a lot of ghosts and spirits getting shot through with arrows, carrying babies across rivers, and repeating all the actions of saint all the time, though they don't all bite into people's snacks, which is just well.

 

3 hours ago, YeahScience said:

Well, thank so the elves, the presents have a certain aura and force field that protects them, kinda like a bodyguard!

And, of course you have satellite shots of the elf settlement, living quarters, the workshops where they remove the department store packaging, reindeer stables, all around the north pole.  At least Santa Claus-without-an-e doesn't require an outsized house; he just hovers the whole time, supervising. Those poor cold elves!

Edited September 20 by Peterkin

[exchemist]

7 hours ago, YeahScience said:

By: Two totally verified science experts

 

So recently, me and another science expert were deliberating on the topic of Santa Clause. Was he real? Was he plausible? We thought not. However, the other science expert came up with a theory that sounds totally absurd at first, but if you think about it it makes a lot of sense. We then continued to add some plausible, key facts to it, and we have now formulated a theory. Ok, so here goes the explanation: So you guys know how a LOT of people think Santa is made up because he isn't 'scientifically' possible or real? Well, Santa Claus was based off of St. Nicholas of Myra, who basically lived in Constantinople in present-day Turkey from AD 270 to AD 343. He basically was the real life santa, because he gave presents to everyone and food too. We think that Santa Clause may just be the ghost and spirit of St. Nicholas of Myra! Think about it: Santa Clause can see everyone at the same time, so he has to be a spirit, right? Also, how else would be able to fly? Ghosts can transport and transform themselves into anything they want! You might be wondering, "How does he eat the milk and the cookies?". Well, everything he touches or bites into turns into a spirit too, but it leaves a physical dent on the cookie. So why don't all of his presents turn into spirits? Well, thank so the elves, the presents have a certain aura and force field that protects them, kinda like a bodyguard! Santa being a spirit also explains how is IMMORTAL, and how he can fit down chimney roofs even thought he is kinda fat (5'7, 220, he definatly has diabetes). So yeah, think about it!

 

Thank you,

 

2 Science Experts

“Another” science expert? 😆

[joigus]

Santa clause = the Santa that I learned about as a boy

"that I learned about as a boy" is the clause, of course. 

 

Edited September 20 by joigus
minor correction

[TheVat]

18 hours ago, YeahScience said:

Ghosts can transport and transform themselves into anything they want!

If we accepted this premise, then pretty much any theory could involve transformed ghosts.  That would be so handy!  It would also explain why cookies disappear so quickly.  And dark matter.  Someone notify the Academy in Stockholm.

[Mordred]

45 minutes ago, TheVat said:

If we accepted this premise, then pretty much any theory could involve transformed ghosts.  That would be so handy!  It would also explain why cookies disappear so quickly.  And dark matter.  Someone notify the Academy in Stockholm.

A ghost field for leftover terms from renormalization already exists. Pick a different name lol.