Physics poems

[Martin]

Neutrinos they are very small.

They have no charge and have no mass

And do not interact at all.

The earth is just a silly ball

To them, through which they simply pass,

Like dustmaids down a drafty hall

Or photons through a sheet of glass.

They snub the most exquisite gas,

Ignore the most substantial wall,

Cold-shoulder steel and sounding brass,

Insult the stallion in his stall,

And, scorning barriers of class,

Infiltrate you and me! Like tall

And painless guillotines, they fall

Down through our heads into the grass.

At night, they enter at Nepal

And pierce the lover and his lass

From underneath the bed – you call

It wonderful; I call it crass.

 

by John Updike

 

======end quote=======

this was written before it was discovered that neutrinos have a small mass.

 

thanks to Sean Carroll for posting this.

 

Does anyone have another physics poem?

[Martin]

found some stuff here

http://www.magicdragon.com/UltimateSF/sfpo-14pt0.html

[JPQuiceno]

lol, nice. Very funny.

[Martin]

check this out:

http://www.brindin.com/main.htm

 

this isn't physics songs or physics poems but it is a great site for verse translations from a thousand years and over a dozen languages

===============

 

here is one that ecoli posted at SFN

http://www.scienceforums.net/forums/showthread.php?p=207759#post207759

 

===============

 

here is a specific site for physics songs:

 

http://www.haverford.edu/physics-astro/songs/

[Erich]

these will appear in the Nov. 10 issue of New Energy Times:

 

 

Dropping by the Lab, which is "Glowing", this Evening

Fusion Fire From Frost (F4)

 

by an anonymous research engineer with the US Army

September 2005

 

Whose research area? I don't rightly know.

Their expertise should be copious though.

They will not see me working so,

Investigating cold fusion for mankind's pro.

 

They have dismissed the topic here.

The reason? It might not be so clear,

Explains Mallove, Beaudette, Krivit, Winocur,

Commencing from their will, not intellectual steer.

 

Science consists of experiments and theory.

Knowledge is reveled after one is weary,

In the lab, not lovely, dark and dreary,

Instead of sneering for a quarterly diary.

 

Support and funding is not a hope to seek.

But we of LENR have character too deep;

That makes for promises to keep,

And pleads: "Experiments, complete!"

 

 

One of his co-workers, who also wishes to remain anonymous, wrote a response parody based on Poe's "The Raven:"

 

As I sat in my cubie weary

Thinking of ballistics dreary,

Came an e-mail thru the door.

 

It told a tale of fusion frigid,

Of science attitudes so rigid,

They banished test results of yore.

 

And what am I to make of this,

That gets an establishment so pissed,

Their funding folks said, "Nevermore"?

 

What is it about deuterium

That stimulates so much delirium

They send support right to the floor?

 

Could it be our mighty nation,

In search of energy salvation,

Can't take solutions any more?

 

Is our foresight so myopic

When it should be telescopic

That blinds us to another door?

 

So I guess we'll just rely on

Gasoline at three bucks a gallon

And climate temperatures that soar.

 

 

 

Thought you would like this:

 

Subject: New Element Discovered in the wake of Katrina

 

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the

heaviest chemical yet known to science. This new element has been

tentatively named "Governmentium."

 

Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons,

75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an

atomic mass of 312.

 

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are

surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

 

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert.

However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it

comes into contact.

 

A tiny amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over four

days to complete when it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of four years; it does not decay

but instead, it undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the

assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact,

Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time since each

reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming

isodopes.

 

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to

speculate that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain

quantity in concentration. This hypocritical quantity is referred to as

"Critical Morass."

 

You will know it when you see it. When catalyzed with money,

Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element which radiates just as

much energy since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

 

 

 

 

It is a reminder once again that the intelligent designer provided a very narrow range of endocrine response to emotional stimuli in Homo sapiens. The reaction to the new element was not to laugh, but to cry.

 

My Fusion Limerick:

 

There once was a man from Nantucket

Who had a piece of the sun in his bucket

They said he was daft, but he would just laugh

And tell Big Oil to bend down and SUCK IT