Peter Dunn Posted August 20, 2003 Posted August 20, 2003 Hi guys Stop looking for perfection - whether in yourself or the girl of your dreams - it ain't there believe me. For two people to successfully share their lives they need to accept and understand their chosen partner's imperfections (smelly feet whatever) - its the little things - for the most part - that eventually destroy relationships. Forget the soaps, forget Hollywood, this isn'nt a rehearsal (we only come this way once), so make the most of it. Peter Dunn
Loki Posted August 21, 2003 Posted August 21, 2003 I agree with p dunn too but really, analyzing the subject doesn't seem to help. Well, let me rephrase that: analyzing this subject has never helped me in the past. When you are out of a girlfriend/boyfriend it's easy to analyze everything--"what do girls/guys want? how do i get one? am i nice enough?" etc. etc. etc. the reason i say this is because when I was solo I thought so much about having a relationship with a girl, and i thought about everything i would do in a relationship and how i would go about treating her... and so on. but when I found her, none of that analyzation stuff worked. I just found her, we were attracted to each other, and it went from there. basically what i'm trying to say is that when you find the right girl/guy then things become easy. you don't have to think or analyze everything... you don't have to ask yourself questions all the time. it just feels right. i guess. i dunno. maybe
Dave Posted August 21, 2003 Posted August 21, 2003 logic kindof goes out of the window when it comes to relationships. too many emotions.
matter Posted August 23, 2003 Author Posted August 23, 2003 I know all that. I never really make a big deal out of relationships and what not. I was just thinking along the lines of people who have relationships that last for the rest of their lives, versus people who split up or get divorced or whatever. I think it's kind of a rare event for two people to come together and want to stay together and have happy lives, but I also think thats real cool. I just dont want my mistakes to cause me to lose an opportunity like that. I think about girls a lot. :uhh: :help:
alt_f13 Posted August 24, 2003 Posted August 24, 2003 Originally posted by Sayonara³ No, your fat arse does that all by itself. Dear self, get new pants.
alt_f13 Posted August 24, 2003 Posted August 24, 2003 oh yes, how did this escape me? If you havent heard of http://www.askmen.com then go there. Best online mens magazine, and its free. Relationships, sex, sports etc
Dave Posted August 24, 2003 Posted August 24, 2003 If it doesn't have a list of cheesy chatup lines, I'm not reading it. e.g. "Get your coat love, you've pulled!!!!!!", "Here's 20p, phone your momma cos you ain't goin home tonight!!!!!!!!!" etc.
YT2095 Posted August 24, 2003 Posted August 24, 2003 "that`s a nice dress yer wearing, considering the shape it`s on" "do you lie on you belly at night? do ya mind if i do then" "Hey, your a good dancer! and you don`t sweat much for a fat chick" no wonder I ended up married
Kedas Posted August 24, 2003 Posted August 24, 2003 Does the right girl only come around once in your lifetime? If it would be true isn't it a bit contradicting itself? (assuming the right one girl exist) If she is "the right girl" then you should meet her over and over even if you don't want to.
matter Posted August 24, 2003 Author Posted August 24, 2003 Kedas said in post #36 : If it would be true isn't it a bit contradicting itself? (assuming the right one girl exist) If she is "the right girl" then you should meet her over and over even if you don't want to. Well, I tend to believe that you can lose the opportunity if you don't take the chance. I had a girlfriend when I was about 9 or so, I was her first tongue kiss, but I moved away from that area after 5th grade. Recently I moved back and we ran into each other by chance. I also keep running into her family members by chance. Bottom line: sometimes I think she's supposed to be the right one if I think about it the way you do, but believe me, she's not. Usually the girls I think are the ones I'm supposed to be with are the ones I can talk to very easily and joke about 80's music and the things we watch on TV and smoke pot together. By the way I do all those things with her, but she has a boyfriend that she seems to love.
YT2095 Posted August 25, 2003 Posted August 25, 2003 well I figure if she IS the right one for you, then her current relationship won`t last and there will be nothing anyone can do about it.
Dave Posted August 25, 2003 Posted August 25, 2003 Well, these things have a way of either working out or going horribly wrong: in my case it usually seems to be the latter of the two
YT2095 Posted August 25, 2003 Posted August 25, 2003 Chin up and take heart, There`s no such thing as a failed experiment, only more data! and that applies to life experiences too, so from your mistakes it puts you in a better position to A) help others and B) help yourself by learning from them I was 30 when I met the right one.
matter Posted August 25, 2003 Author Posted August 25, 2003 The dude shes with is a tool anyways. Our friendship is kind of on the rocks since an incident where I got wasted and pulled a knife on one of her guy friends. We havent really talked since. It's no big deal though, I don't think about her much. I have a lot of dreams about her but I dont think about her when I'm conscious.
Guest DHill Posted August 25, 2003 Posted August 25, 2003 YT2095 said in post #40 :Chin up and take heart, There`s no such thing as a failed experiment, only more data! and that applies to life experiences too, so from your mistakes it puts you in a better position to A) help others and B) help yourself by learning from them I was 30 when I met the right one. Amen to that. There are no failed experiments. Something can be gained from each. A quick run-through of population numbers would suggest that the probability of finding at least one compatible mate in a large city is high. That implies, of course, that you actively sample the population, i.e., you go out and meet people. That is the most difficult part. I have come to the conclusion that there are many possible mates, some with a higher amount of compatibility than others. The relationship might be rocky, but if the two pepole are willing to work through it, then they could potentially last for an indefinite period of time. Then there are other couples who seem to have a certain magnetism for one another, and although they may still experince conflict, they have a generally easier time of it. These are the couples that make dreamers out of the rest of us, showing us hope for someone that is highly compatible with ourselves. When it comes to another person, anything is possible, and almost none of it is predictable. Taking care of yourself it easy enough... the only variable you have to worry about is yourself. But when you have two people, there are suddenly two coupled variables in the equation which yield nonlinear (and very interesting) behavior. I am speaking from the priveleged perspective of a bachelor who has fallen to his own idealism since he started graduate work. Everything makes sense to me, but I guarantee that if I were to suddenly find myself in a relationship, my perspective might be different. Cheers.
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