what to do with a depressed friend?

[clarisse]

Hi.. i have this friend, she's really young, only 16 and she has been depressed for over a year. she started going to the psychatrist and she is under prescribed meds. she says these aren't helping at all and they make her presure go down so that she's always weak and dizzy. tomorrow they are taking her to the hospital and her doctor says she might be there for one to two weeks.

I don't know how to help her and I'm relaly worried about her but I don't want her to notice because she is really sensitive and doesn't want to see her friends worying about her but like, are there any things I could do to help someone as depressed as her? I fear being in the hospital will make it even worse but I don't think my opinion will be heard against the psychiatrist's advice...

on general terms does it make it worse if i show concernfor her or should I try to be as cheerful as possible with her?

i know it is diffiers and varies from cse to case but i would still like to hear some advice... thanks:-(

[ecoli]

Hi.. i have this friend' date=' she's really young, only 16 and she has been depressed for over a year. she started going to the psychatrist and she is under prescribed meds. she says these aren't helping at all and they make her presure go down so that she's always weak and dizzy. tomorrow they are taking her to the hospital and her doctor says she might be there for one to two weeks.

I don't know how to help her and I'm relaly worried about her but I don't want her to notice because she is really sensitive and doesn't want to see her friends worying about her but like, are there any things I could do to help someone as depressed as her? I fear being in the hospital will make it even worse but I don't think my opinion will be heard against the psychiatrist's advice...

on general terms does it make it worse if i show concernfor her or should I try to be as cheerful as possible with her?

i know it is diffiers and varies from cse to case but i would still like to hear some advice... thanks:-([/quote']

 

 

This seems all too common these days. I'm sorry for your friend, but I can offer no easy answer. All you can do if be there for your friend, she's probably feeling in need of friendship now.

[Phi for All]

Showing your friend how much you care is different than showing her how worried you are about her. You fear that the hospital will make her more depressed, so if you're allowed to visit, visit often. Just being there for her will make the hospital seem less like the hospital.

 

We often feel frustrated when we can't help a friend. Your friend may need to help herself out of this problem in order for the cure to be long term. She's getting help from the right people, and I'm sure they want to place her on different meds and do some observation to make sure they've got it right.

 

Besides that, the next best thing your friend has going for her is a friend like you. You can't fix her, that's not your job. Your job is just being a friend, showing her that she is loved and that she doesn't have to go through this alone.

[who_knows]

Has she had therapy treatment to find out the real cause behind her Depression? A Psychiatrist putting her on drugs straight away is no way of going about things.Psychiatric drugs never helped anyone It's just to save time and money.

[acerateact]

let her know everything is fun.and u could show her how beautiful the world is.let her study science or something she like.

[Callipygous]

the best thing you can do for her is probably to not change. be her friend. dont try to cheer up a depressed person, it doesnt work, it just makes them feel like you dont understand. just be there for her, however shes feeling.

 

 

 

also...

"Psychiatric drugs never helped anyone It's just to save time and money."

 

completely ignore that ^^ garbage.

[Phi for All]

Psychiatric drugs never helped anyone It's just to save time and money.

If you want to be taken seriously here, you will avoid generalities like this whenever possible.

[who_knows]

Ok.Well they never helped me anyway.

Did they cure your problem?

[Callipygous]

Ok.Well they never helped me anyway.

Did they cure your problem?

 

 

while they are definately not a cure all, and shouldnt be used in every situation, i do have many, many friends who lead much happier more socially active lives largely thanks to such medication.

[navynuke]

Where is MX? Do you get a lot of nasty weather there?

My depression was diagnosed first in 1969, but the cause for it not until 1984. Turned out to be long periods of overcast weather, or not enough sunshine in the 2 locations that I had the depression. I made the connection myself, with help from a magazine article. The shrink was no help. My general practicioner was the one who helped. Lithium was the drug of choice at the time, and it worked wonders, but the Dr. said either keep taking the drugs or move to a sunny climate. I did the latter, and threw the pills away. I still get low sometimes, but it is short duration and just knowing the cause is often enough to help me get through it. Keep an eye on your friend. I had a buddy who kept his depression a secret, until the day he overdosed on pain pills.

[aj47]

Psychiatric drugs never helped anyone It's just to save time and money.

 

Its true that often psychiatric drugs can cause problems and should always be taken as a last resort. However if a depression or serious psychological problem is not reactionary, then it becasue of neurological reasons e.g. chemical imbalances.

If physciatric drugs were not admistered many people with schitzophrenia or bipolar etc would not be able to lead normal lifes and would resort to self harm, aggresion and in many cases, suicide. Even though no drugs are 100% effective as we still don't completely know how the brain functions, they are still vital for these people.

[aj47]

Turned out to be long periods of overcast weather, or not enough sunshine in the 2 locations that I had the depression. .

 

Apparantly thats why sweden has the highest suicide rate in the world becasue in winter the days are only a few hours long.

 

I think the term for seasonal depression is 'Seasonal Affective Disorder' which is quite fittingly abbreviated to S.A.D.

[SkyQueen737]

Being a 16 year old today is hard...we were all 16 once too. So many pressures from friends, family, work, money, boys (at least some let that bother them) it's important for girls to fit in. Everyones already hit the nail on the head. Be her friend. Don't change your ways for her, be the friend she knows. It'll help her in the long run. Also, in todays world it's very easy for someone to just prescribe meds get their money and go on about their business. It would be really good for them to try to figure out why she feels this way, then work on a treatment plan based on HER. It's easy to call someone depressed and give them meds...without helping them at all.

[clarisse]

hi.. uhm its me... i just wanted to thank everybody who's posted...

my friend has been to see 3 psychiatrists and 2 psychologists and they were about to intern her for a couple of weeks in hospital but in the end they didn't because they rather have her busy at school.

Also, apparently she's suffering from mild anaemia and the las doctor she consulted said that the medicine is only worstening her state so first they will have to take care of her anaemia and then continue with the psychiatric treatment ...

but yes, I have talked to some other friends and I have shared with them what some of you have told me... I really appreciate it...

By the way... MX= mexico... the weather's been horrible lately but still there are have been quite a few sunny days... and the temperature never drops too low...

[Phi for All]

Have you talked to your friend? How is she taking all this?

 

If she is anemic she may not be eating right. You mentioned earlier that some meds made her weak and dizzy. She's not starving herself, is she? Anorexia can be the cause of dizzyness and anemia. Is she depressed over her weight or her body for some reason?

[clarisse]

No its not about her body or appearance... she's been having family problems... and losing people she used to be really close to... and she's not eating well but it was her depression which made her lose her appetite... she still isn't feeling very well and they're trying to reduce her medication dose gradually because the medicine in combination with the anaemia were lowering her blood pressure.... so she will have to follow a special diet. I'm still worried about her but she asked for help in the first place and she really doesn't want to give up so that is conforting.

[SkyQueen737]

That's a very good thing to know - that SHE wants the help and it wasn't forced on her. That means she recognizes there is a problem and wants to change, and she'll be more willing to do so. Family can be so frustrating at times, going through that now. I have a mother who's really sick in and out of the hospital, they don't know that's going on...another grandmother who's in the same boat, a lot of alcoholics, it goes on and on...but she's not alone, and when she comes around to realize that she'll be able to help herself more. Family problems don't last forever, no problem does. God bless the both of you, and I'll keep yall in my prayers.

[padren]

This may sound sort of quaint, but I found it helped me. I find it helps to accomplish something in small, accumulitive steps. It has the psychological value reminding oneself in a literal way (instead of intellectually) that we can make a difference in our lives, and depression is often tied to a sense of fruitlessness and being stuck/trapped.

Its not something I logically chose but realized I did in retrospect later.

 

Its not a solution, just something that may be able to help a bit.

[FreqWhenSee]

I've payed close attention to "depression" and it's causes and effects. I've been in it for so long, i'm numb now. Doctors, even psychiatrists, will largely treat symptoms and ignore causes. Some questions to analyze are;

 

What are the circumstances of her family life, what serious things have happened to her when she was younger that she may be surpressing (often from family members), how have people treated her through the years of school, how much real food does she have a history of eating as opposed to fast food and boxed food (synthetic chemicals alter brain chemistry), what is the relationship between her parents like, how do they treat her... esentially what aspects of her daily environment have been out of sync with how she feels things should be?

 

The media is a very powerful medium today. Pardon my language, but it seriously ****s with the mind of girls... to a very deep extent. It creates a perceived prison of ideals which are assinine and only abuses them for marketing purposes. How does she feel about her body and her ideals relative to the media and other girls around her?

 

A strong-willed person can't be forced into being happy about an environment they are unhappy with. Only an understanding of it can be attained. The greater understanding of the environment, the greater a person is enabled to get out of "depression." But then again, some people just see things for what they really are and will not creat a false reality.

[who_knows]

aj47 However if a depression or serious psychological problem is not reactionary, then it becasue of neurological reasons e.g. chemical imbalances

 

Are you saying a Psychological problem is caused by a Neurological disorder?

I dunno what page of the book this one is on,but I very much doubt if anyone has become depressed and suicidal for no reason at all other than a chemical imbalance and other Psychiatric half truths which they base their theories on

[navynuke]

Are you saying a Psychological problem is caused by a Neurological disorder?

I dunno what page of the book this one is on' date='but I very much doubt if anyone has become depressed and suicidal for no reason at all other than a chemical imbalance and other Psychiatric half truths which they base their theories on[/quote']

Not real sure of what you are trying to say but, a lot of psychiatric problems of the past are becoming known as brain chemistry caused today.

I see it as a very good thing that pschiatrists are becoming more willing to look for biological causes to what seem like purely mental issues.

[who_knows]

They are looking for biological causes but none have found any real evidence of any Medical condition relating to "Mental Disorders".

It's a bad thing being told that the only chance of getting your sanity back is a lifetime on drugs.

[navynuke]

They are looking for biological causes but none have found any real evidence of any Medical condition relating to "Mental Disorders".

It's a bad thing being told that the only chance of getting your sanity back is a lifetime on drugs.

What is your expertise, age, education, experience, sources, etc. that supports your views? Are you suffesting that mental disorders are not real?

[aj47]

Are you saying a Psychological problem is caused by a Neurological disorder?

I dunno what page of the book this one is on' date='but I very much doubt if anyone has become depressed and suicidal for no reason at all other than a chemical imbalance and other Psychiatric half truths which they base their theories on[/quote']

 

Obviously if someone dies or something, then the depression is irrelevent of neurological problems which is why it is called reactionary. However you will find, not in all cases but most, that depressed people do have lack of neurotrasmitters such as seratonin in the brain and are much more prone to depression.

Depressed people can usually pinpoint the reasons why they feel bad all the time, but it is not these that make up the depression, it is the fact that they dwell excessively on these which does stem from a neurological imbalance.

[navynuke]

Depressed people can usually pinpoint the reasons why they feel bad all the time, but it is not these that make up the depression, it is the fact that they dwell excessively on these which does stem from a neurological imbalance.

Let me speak from experience. I was severly depressed in 1969, and did NOT have the faintest clue as to why, so pinpointing is out of the question. I did have one clue, but it didn't register at the time, not until many years later when it happened again, around 1983. The commonality was long periods of overcast weather. Once that was figured out, and once I got to the right doctor, medication did the trick until I moved to a sunnier climate.

 

The problem with many, if not most, kinds of depression is that it creeps up on you so slowly that you don't know it is happening. Mine took over a year each time to get to the point that a few others noticed it. Most of us tend to keep our negative feelings to ourselves.

 

Brain and body chemistry are sciences in their infancy. We know just enough about our chemistry to appreciate that we know very little about it.