Shyness

[TheDMan05]

For some reason, recently I have been very interested in people's perceptions of shyness and shy people in general. People's attitudes about shy people they know, in particular.

 

I would like you to post your personal views on shyness. Thing's like, how you would react if you found out someone is shy or even the reactions of other people to that news. Post anything, I'm not fussy.

 

I'd prefer it if you didn't look up shyness on the Internet before you post though. However, I don't want to stop you from posting if you already know something of shyness.

 

Even if you feel that your post would be perceived negatively, post it anyway.

 

Thank you:-)

[ecoli]

Personally, I act very shy around new people. I need to size them up to find out if we're compatable, especially in regards to our humor, likes/dilikes, etc. After I get to know somebody, I show them what I'm really like. Then they generally tend to stop hanging out with me.

[aj47]

I have always been reasonably confidence and not afraid to approach people I did not know, but in the last year I have had a random drop in my confidence.

I'm increasingly shy and withdrawn finding it hard to talk to people I do not know, but I havn't a clue why. Anyone had anything similar as its really annoying me.

[Mokele]

I actually used to be quite shy. Over time, I made progressively wider and wider circles of friends, especially in college, participated in more activities, and these days I've pretty much lost most of my shyness.

 

As a result, I feel very weird around shyness, both because I can empathize with the person's discomfort, and because I feel a bit of pity that they haven't managed to overcome it as I have.

 

Mokele

[Phi for All]

I tend to equate shyness with low self-esteem, but I know that's not always the case. Most people I know who are shy don't trust themselves enough to say what they feel or talk to people they don't know with confidence.

 

We all want approval and sometimes shyness is a buffer so we can gauge how well we come across. It's usually not the safe bet we think it is when meeting new people. Sometimes the friendliest, most interesting people seem boring and disinterested when acting shy.

[bascule]

My shyness varies dramatically depending on my particular mental state and amount of alcohol imbibed

[ecoli]

My shyness varies dramatically depending on my particular mental state and amount of alcohol imbibed

 

ah, yes. Another reason why I stay away from the stuff.

[AzurePhoenix]

People sometimes mistake my self-contained contempt for them as being shy.

[ecoli]

People sometimes mistake my self-contained contempt for them as being shy.

 

yes, I'd say all those attempted and succesful murder attempts against my life were based off of your shy and reserved nature.

[In My Memory]

TheDMan,

I would like you to post your personal views on shyness. Thing's like, how you would react if you found out someone is shy

Hmmmm... I'd probably take lots of pictures of them and put my hands all over them

 

I'm very extroverted, I enjoy telling stories, and I LOVE to talk to people I've never met before. But I dont think I really have a pre-planned way of talking to people who I know are shy, but I'd probably find a way to make them laugh, or maybe bake them cookies.

[ecoli]

TheDMan' date='

 

Hmmmm... I'd probably take lots of pictures of them and put my hands all over them [/quote']

 

Ooo, you're a cruel one aren't you?

 

Actually that makes sense. If I'm shy, its because I'm uncomfortable about meeting new people. I want make sure they're not going to reject me upon finding out what I'm really like.

 

Your response actually makes sense, because I know it would help me relax, and feel comfortable.

[bascule]

TheDMan' date='

 

Hmmmm... I'd probably take lots of pictures of them and put my hands all over them [/quote']

 

Damn, where are all the other girls like you

[TheDMan05]

Hmmmm... I'd probably take lots of pictures of them and put my hands all over them

 

They would probably react well to that, as long as it didn't send them into a coma.

 

 

I'm very extroverted' date=' I enjoy telling stories, and I LOVE to talk to people I've never met before. But I dont think I really have a pre-planned way of talking to people who I know are shy, but I'd probably find a way to make them laugh, or maybe bake them cookies.[/quote']

 

Cookies are good

[Royston]

People sometimes mistake my self-contained contempt for them as being shy.

 

I had that problem at work for a while until my colleagues figured out that it had nothing to do with them. My shyness seems to dip for no reason...some days I'm full of beans and confident, the next I'm all to aware of myself and just want to hide away on a couch...though this could be attributed to my lifestyle 'ahem' I've been like this my entire life and I can only attribute it to my general outlook and what I'm doing at the time.

 

When I came back from travelling I was almost over-confident and actually found myself annoying, so started sinking back into myself a bit. It was also alot to do with my outlook...somedays you shrug everything off and see everything as just going through the motions, and somedays all you notice is the stupidity of people, corrupt governments and the sorry state that everything seems to be in. It's days like that, that I just want to shout at people or hide away so seperating myself and making myself shy.

 

I think the more you go out, the more people you meet et.c is bound to make you more confident and more comfortable with people et.c It's keeping that up though that will sustain that confidence, my current job mainly involves listening to music, and using a pc so I'm pretty shut off...and I've noticed it effects my confidence. It's like staying in your bedroom for several days and when you go out you feel agoraphobic, and you just want to go inside again.

 

Shyness seems to be almost hereditry...but as you can overcome it quite easily by changing your environment I think it's something that parents may project and can effect the child. I also think over mothering can play a part in this, by making the child too dependant on the elder.

[YT2095]

I, like IMM, tend to ignore peoples shyness and include them regardless, almost like I`ve known them for years effect.

I`m fairly extrovert too, and have been told I`m the same on the net as off the net (relating to IRC chat).

I also weigh people up, but it`s done over time and with interaction, and not by sitting there shyly and just hoping to get a glipse of the true nature.

 

I`m seldom serious, frequently flippant, and more than often game for a good laugh (even at my own expense)

 

life`s too damn short to be shy about anything!

[bascule]

life`s too damn short to be shy about anything!

 

It's far too easy for me to slip into deep introspection

[YT2095]

It's far too easy for me to slip into deep introspection

 

Life`s too damn short for That too

 

just get on with it and enjoy it:cool:

[softdragonz]

Life`s too damn short for That too

 

just get on with it and enjoy it:cool:

 

 

You got it right buddy....Shyness is another stupid reason to worry about.........why even Einstien was shy when he was young..........if he had worried imagine would we have had the special relativity:-)

[bascule]

Life`s too damn short for That too

 

just get on with it and enjoy it:cool:

 

I greatly enjoy deep introspection. It's like meditation only with more rational thinking involved.

[Royston]

I greatly enjoy deep introspection. It's like meditation only with more rational thinking involved.

 

Agreed. I see introspection as a time-out to think about who you are, I think it's perfectly healthy as long as it's moderate. I'm happy with being both confident but having the humility to step back and see how I'm acting towards people and how they're acting towards me. You can learn from introspection as long as you don't spend all your time doing it.

[bascule]

You can learn from introspection as long as you don't spend all your time doing it.

 

Sounds like you're describing autism there.

 

I consider myself to have a healthy social life... I throw parties, go to parties, go to bars, clubs, hang out with my friends on a near daily basis, etc.

 

But Jethro Tull said it best...

 

I try to socialize but I can't seem to find what I was lookin' for... got somethin' on my mind...

[Phi for All]

But Jethro Tull said it best...

 

I try to socialize but I can't seem to find what I was lookin' for... got somethin' on my mind...

Tull also had this to say about socializing and introspection:

 

Brain-storming' date=' habit-forming, battle-warning weary winsome actor spewing

spineless chilling lines--

The critics falling over to tell themselves he's boring

And really not an awful lot of fun.

 

Well who the hell can he be when he's never had V.D.,

And he doesn't even sit on toilet seats?

 

Court-jesting, never-resting--he must be very cunning

To assume an air of dignity

And bless us all

With his oratory prowess,

His lame-brained antics and his jumping in the air.

 

And every night his act's the same

And so it must be all a game of chess he's playing--

 

But you're wrong, Steve. You see, it's only solitaire.

[/i']

 

Sometimes the people who seem to have the most confidence are only acting.

[Royston]

Sometimes the people who seem to have the most confidence are only acting.

 

Precisely...some people project (what's percieved as) confidence as a defense mechanism to an insecurity.

[imasmartgirl]

I seem to be more shy around people who are different from me like someone really talkative. If i meet someone i can relate to more I won't be shy at all. But I'm such a strange person thats hard to find

[Ophiolite]

It's far too easy for me to slip into deep introspection

Hmmm. Let me think about that.