Shyness

[YT2095]

Precisely...some people project (what's percieved as) confidence as a defense mechanism to an insecurity.

 

yeah, I`ve encountered that a few times, but it doesn`t usualy take long before they actulay tell you what that insecurity is, or you work it out for yourself and you tell them.

I tend to find that in the main MOST (a good 99%) of folks are actualy good people at heart though, so with those kind of odds it`s well worth just being open and friendly towards each other, the other 1% can go and play with the traffic on a busy road for all I care:-p

they sure ain`t gunna pi$$ on my BBQ

[aj47]

life`s too damn short to be shy about anything!

 

Try telling that to a shy person and there not going to take it on board,

 

Personally I know what its like to be confident but when I go through days even months of shyness its really quite hard to cope with.

 

I know i'm being ridiculuos when I find it too unerving to talk to a certain person or to go to a certain place but theres really nothing that will change my mind.

 

It's a horrible feeling when you want to be your normal self so much but you are unable to which makes the problem go round in cirlces

[why?]

I am pretty shy around unknown people. And sometimes around known people. I think from my personal experience you can relate shyness to self conscious. Dont know if it happens with everyone.

I am a very self conscious person. If someone near me is even whispering something not related to me in any way, i still get conscious. This makes me more shy coz then i dont want to speak just in case i say something and people make fun of me. I hope you know what i am talking about.

Oh.. and that might be one of the factors i am not a good public speaker either.

[YT2095]

If someone near me is even whispering something not related to me in any way, i still get conscious. This makes me more shy coz then i dont want to speak just in case i say something and people make fun of me.

 

there`s different ways to look at that, here: "There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not

being talked about." Oscar Wilde.

 

or you can consider it the way I do, while they`re talking about You, they`re giving some other poor soul a break

[TheDMan05]

Life`s too damn short for That too

 

just get on with it and enjoy it:cool:

 

This is like saying to a person with arachnophobia' date=' 'Don't worry, they're only spiders. ':rolleyes:

 

I am pretty shy around unknown people. And sometimes around known people. I think from my personal experience you can relate shyness to self conscious. Dont know if it happens with everyone.

I am a very self conscious person. If someone near me is even whispering something not related to me in any way, i still get conscious. This makes me more shy coz then i dont want to speak just in case i say something and people make fun of me. I hope you know what i am talking about.

 

This is what it's like for me, and I even find it difficult talking to my family.

[YT2095]

This is like saying to a person with arachnophobia' date=' 'Don't worry, they're only spiders. ':rolleyes:

[/quote']

 

erm... yeah, and your point is?

 

or rather, let me be more specific about my query, When did "Shyness" suddenly become a "Phobia"?

[Royston]

Exactly, shyness can be overcome by just 'getting out there'. I think a good tip for shy SFN'ers is that there is a good chance you're a lot more intelligent than most of the population, bear that in mind and the world will be your oyster !

 

I think my confidence regresses sometimes because I can't stand obnoxious people, and there's quite a thin line between being extrovert and plain arrogant (this is in no way in regards to anyone on SFN...I wouldn't still be on here if that was the case) but I find myself being quite opinionated when I talk to people, and sometimes it comes across as being rude and a little arrogant. This is when I start to recede back into my shell and indulge in a little introspection.

[YT2095]

it can sometimes help to realise (and Really Believe!) that other people are exactly the same as yourself and worth just as much and have the same sorts of hang-ups and fears as everyone else, as Cliche` as it sounds, we`re All Equal.

there`s no one Better than you, and you`re no better than someone else in total.

we all have different skills and weaknesses, but working together and giving the "other guy" a chance, these can all be made to compliment each other making the whole stronger than the sum of the parts.

 

"a Stranger is a Friend you haven`t met yet" I like that philosophy

[Royston]

it can sometimes help to realise (and Really Believe!) that other people are exactly the same as yourself and worth just as much and have the same sorts of hang-ups and fears as everyone else' date=' as Cliche` as it sounds, we`re All Equal.

there`s no one Better than you, and you`re no better than someone else in total.

[/quote']

 

I wholeheartedly agree, it's a case of people being misunderstood, and not really a case of anyone being better than anyone else.

 

However in the case of overcoming shyness you sometimes have to tell yourself how great you are, and that you're not surrounded by people who have got it all sussed out. Everyone's confused just as much as the last person (generally, there are exceptions of course), overcoming a social barrier is understanding just that, so in this case, you are the one that has it a little more sussed out than the rest, and that should be a kick start to overcoming shyness. It's just a case of sustaining that social equilibrium with people, and not becoming obnoxious and not shying away when you're not sure.

 

I'm a firm believer that anyone has the potential to be anything they want (within reason) so I agree, we are all equal in that sense...some poor souls just can't see the wood for the trees though. This is all a little rich coming from me, because I can be incredibly shy sometimes...but I suppose I understand how hard battling shyness is.

[BigMoosie]

I would expect that people think I am a shy person although I do not consider myself one, I think my problem is that I am far too patient and rational.

[softdragonz]

Shyness comes when we are forced to mingle with a group with completely different interests and attitude....

 

Like if a particular group of people are interested in gossiping politics...and this guy likes to discuss science (....what we do here)...obviously he will feel uncomfortable...and try to sit lonely and discuss with himself

[YT2095]

Shyness comes when we are forced to mingle with a group with completely different interests and attitude....

 

Like if a particular group of people are interested in gossiping politics...and this guy likes to discuss science (....what we do here)...obviously he will feel uncomfortable...and try to sit lonely and discuss with himself

 

now to ME that scenario spells Boredom!, not shyness

yes I would IF Forced to be there for whatever reason, probably would sit in a corner and not say a word either, and more than likely fall asleep sooner or later too.

 

Snail: "you sometimes have to tell yourself how great you are"

although I agree with that partly, it Must be conditional.

you may know that you`re great at certain things and be content with that, the people around you may not be as efficient or effective as you in certain areas, but you must also be certain they they (each and every one of them) will considerably better than YOU in other areas!

therein lies the Fun part about meeting people and the motivation to overcome "shyness", you get to learn New Things!!!!

pick their brains, make new contacts, maybe make new friends (we all like to have friends), have access to new resources, etc.....

in turn, the bit that makes you "Great" (and usefull) may help them also, if not now, maybe latter on!

[why?]

I think the point he was trying to make with the phobia is that its not easy to just feel that everyone or most people are inferior or something. Its just a person's nature. Thats the same case with me, ive tried it a million times but it just doesnt seem to work. That is a reason why i have such a closed circle of friends.