Dating

[Severian]

However, you wouldn't have broken so many other girls' hearts before you met her.

 

I am 100% sure I have broken no-one's heart (although a small part of me would have liked to). I think this statement reveals your true nature - you are an egotist, who thinks his perfect woman is out there just waiting for you, but you lack the courage to go looking for her. Maybe for her sake that is a good thing - she can find someone else and have a happy life without you.

[Cap'n Refsmmat]

Guys seem much more likely to dump a girl. Half the time they are too lazy to do that, and they just expect the girl to figure it out when she sees him with a new girlfriend.

That's exactly the opposite of my experiences.

[pcs]

I can name several girls that have asked me out on a date, and I simply said, "no". You will never find true happiness by dating.

 

Any of'em real?

 

You must wait until you find the perfect person.

 

Is that a threat?

 

I am a guy, but I must say that the way most guys treat their girlfriends is just awful. They often choose a girlfriend because of the way she looks, not because of her personality.

 

That should leave plenty of fugly ones with great personalities for you. So why complain?

[pcs]

I have a lot[/i'] of trouble finding girls who can understand or appreciate me. This has lead to a lot of bad first "dates" (if you even want to call it that) and a few one night stands. It gets pretty frustrating. I've never been in a long-term relationship.

 

Okay, I'll stipulate to the first dates and one night stands. So perhaps the problem isn't the women failing to understand or appreciate you, but either fully understanding and appreciating what you are by the end of the date or the next morning. That's to say, how do you know you're not the problem?

 

Maybe someday... just gotta find the right person.

 

Perhaps that chick from last night, eh?

[bascule]

troll troll troll

 

Honestly, do you get off on trolling? I don't see what keeps you coming back after having been banned like 5 or 6 times...

[pcs]

Honestly, do you get off on trolling? I don't see what keeps you coming back after having been banned like 5 or 6 times...

 

Calm down, bascule. We're all friends here. Live a little.

[flyboy]

maybe u shouldve started dating wen u were younger like 13ish

thats wen i had my first date:D

[padren]

Dating is fine to do, and you can have a great relationship without the expectation (assuming its on neither side) that its the One Perfect Person deal...and you'll probably enjoy life a lot more than if you date no one because no one is absolutely perfect.

 

I recommend going out at meeting people in any sort of group activity you enjoy doing. Rock climbing/kayaking/hiking/chess club/knitting/squash/tennis etc. You'll increase your social circle and likely the chances of running into someone that holds your attention.

[JustStuit]

Depending on how old you are, both sides usually know that the relationship will not last. They still take part for the fun and enjoyment in it. Just relax.

[starbug1]

The responses I have read connoting the "casual date" by dating for experience, for the fun of it, for sex, for practice, whatever, kinda borders on vain satisfaction of sexual urges. Some of you may be looking for a soul mate or a gratifying personality in the opposite sex for companionship or what have you. That's fine.

 

I might bring up religion for any of you who are religious, just in case you have forgotten that promiscuity isn't always glorified. In some of you it's just sick. It was funny in Seinfeld, but if your going to live that way, I don't know how you can respect yourself, or live with yourself.

 

A few of us on this thread, I've noticed, are teenagers. Experience and getting out every once in awhile are okay, but are we even ready for a serious relationship? The reason why so many teenage relationships end in heartbreak is that teenagers can't be said to be emotionally mature. I'm going to take an educated guess here: one of the main reasons of teenage suicide is from these early uneducated relationships. The teenagers who have nothing else to live for, live for their boy/girlfriends. This isn't healthy. Too many people I've seen have no second guessing with dating, other than its what everybody else is doing and puberty's lovely hormones.

 

Really, my perspective is, if you can get past the sexual urge part, you have these benefits:

 

1. more money, a big one for some people.

2. more free time. In my case, I've gotten so much more done without dating. I am so far ahead of anymore in my class as far as knowledge goes. I read more books. I have more time for research. I have free weekends.

3. emotional relief. however, this can go both ways. For the extremely lonely, this would be something that could bring them down. Though, I'd also like to postulate that most people usually have more than just their boy/girlfriend, even if it's just one or two others, as in my case, I have several good male friends.

4. less anxiety, timidness, and brain wracking.

5. virginity. Again, this goes both ways, depending on how you look at life.

6. no obligation to see really bad chick flicks. probably the best one

 

The argument is virtually endless. I believe, that if you are not the "dating" type, you either force it upon yourself with a general view of what dating is like, especially in high school. hereme3's case is probably the same for people who only see the shallow form of mass dating, like those in public high schools or colleges. I see the exact same thing. I, however, maintain myself by waiting until I can travel so I can explore variety, get out of a place where dating is just one big party. Far enough away from home as to where I can get a different view as to what other girls are like. Cause right now, I don't have the best impression of both girls and guys. Also, to be emotionally tangeld up in brief relationships and one-night stands like bascule, would kill me. I don't know how you do it.

[JustStuit]

I guess I'm different and it's hard to date. Life is tough.

[Callipygous]

wow.... getting just a little judgemental there arent we?

 

im not saying he should get around and go date a whole bunch of people, im not saying he should go have sex with someone, im not saying he should even have a serious relationship. im saying he shouldnt immediately dismiss the idea of going on a date with some girl who likes him enough to actually ask. what harm can come of it?

 

im not the dating type either, but when the girl who is now my girlfriend told me she was taking me on a date tomorrow because she wanted to get me away from the flickering box i call my life i didnt shoot her down. the reason i didnt shoot her down is because the worst that can happen is i decide im not interested in her and we dont go out again. the best that can happen is i end up with a really good, healthy, lasting relationship. there are all sorts of possibilities in between those two, ranging from a few fun evenings out of the house to a solid new friendship. what do you have to lose?

[starbug1]

the reason i didnt shoot her down is because the worst that can happen is i decide im not interested in her and we dont go out again.

 

and there's nothing wrong with that.

[Cap'n Refsmmat]

And I think herme3 has also forgotten that not all relationships end with someone broken-hearted. Sometimes both realize that the other is not for them, so there's no problem with attachment.

[cosine]

And I think herme3 has also forgotten that not all relationships end with someone broken-hearted. Sometimes both realize that the other is not for them, so there's no problem with attachment.

Quite true, thats what happened with my relationship with my last girlfriend. It's quite good! I've since been recently quite involved with this other girl... as may be seen by my recent dip in SFN activity. (Its worth it though, sorry guys)

[why?]

I agree to that. Me and my girlfriend just broke up a few days ago. Even though i was a little heartbroken i knew it wasnt gonna last for very long. Its not always bad. Sometimes and many times it turns out good or normal.

[SilentQ]

That is completely against my goal in life. My goal is to find the perfect person, and never breakup with her.

 

This seems to me to be hopelessly naïve. Nobody, as the cliché says, is perfect.

 

I broadly agree that it is a good idea to know someone a bit before starting a relationship with them, but you needn't get to be good friends first: that bit comes after. I know many former couples who are still perfectly good friends. It's a question of maturity.

 

I have never personally been in a romantic relationship. I have certain issues I need to sort out first, and I don't really see it as something I need to be happy at the moment. I would automatically say no if someone came up to me out of the blue and said, 'Will you be my girlfriend?'

[starbug1]

I got this out of my Psych textbook (1998).

 

Many people begin dating during adolescence. Dating usually develops in stages (Padgham & Dllyth' date=' 1991). During the first stage, adolescents place themselves in situations where they will probably meet peers of the other sex--for example, at afterschool events. In the next stage, adolescents participate in group dating, such as joining a mixed group at the movies. Finally, they may pair off for traditional two-person dating.

 

People date for several reasons. Obviously, people may date simply because they enjoy spending time with somebody they like. But dating may also help adolescents learn how to relate positively to other people. Furthermore, dating may help prepare adolescents for the more serious courtship activities that come later in life.

 

Among younger adolescents, dating relationships tend to be casual and short-lived. But in later adolescence, relationships tend to be more stable and committed (Feiring, 1993). As 18-year-olds, Marc and Linda were most likely thinking in terms of trust, commitment to each other, and honesty.[/quote']

 

Pleasantly concise, yet arguable.

[bluesmudge]

Im sorry to drag up this old post but i stumbled across it and after reading 1 page i grabbed my stress ball to help me survive the rest . . . .Im not sure wheather i should laugh or cry at this one herme i really don't.

[herme3]

I still think I gave some good advice in this thread. People should start calling me "Captain Love" or something...

[Genecks]

Look people, you have two choices:

 

Adultfriendfinder.com or Christian Singles' Night.

 

Choose one. lol.

[herme3]

No way! I'm not using a dating service. Just read through this thread, and you will see why.

[Callipygous]

I still think I gave some good advice in this thread. People should start calling me "Captain Love" or something...

 

 

i still think its a good thing not everyone has your point of view or we would all be walking around miserable and lonely and depressed about how horrible and cold the world is because we havent found the perfect person yet, and therefor spend our nights with our computers, a bottle of lotion, and a box of kleenexcompletely without love or companionship.

 

but hey, however you want to look at... im living my life, so feel free to do as you wish

[herme3]

i still think its a good thing not everyone has your point of view or we would all be walking around miserable and lonely and depressed about how horrible and cold the world is because we havent found the perfect person yet, and therefor spend our nights with our computers, a bottle of lotion, and a box of kleenexcompletely without love or companionship.

 

No... Everyone would be much happier if they just take my advice: http://lost2destiny.homestead.com/advice.html

 

If everyone had your point of view, all the girls would get their hearts broken and they would all be depressed. Poor girls... Why don't you start thinking about their feelings?

[Callipygous]

No... Everyone would be much happier if they just take my advice: http://lost2destiny.homestead.com

 

If everyone had your point of view' date=' all the girls would get their hearts broken and they would all be depressed. Poor girls... Why don't you start thinking about their feelings?[/quote']

 

no.... girls would have fun going to a movie and a casual meal, talking, joking, getting to know each other, and then deciding if we like each other enough for a second date or if we just want to be friends or nothing at all.

 

this is exactly what im talking about, and exactly what you havent gotten through this whole thread. ITS NOT A BIG DEAL. its just a casual date. their heart will not be broken by one date. you could go on one date with a girl and then tell her at the end that you had a miserable time and you dont want to go out with her again and she would just think that your a jackass for saying it like that, then shed go on with her life. you are one of probably about 20 people on the planet that thinks one date is something a girl will get depressed about. want to have a poll?