Dating

[5614]

I suppose you are not taking our advice of you getting out there and socializing with other people whom you can see and touch. I guess that's okay...that's the way you want it, right?

Just keep your hopes up' date=' herme. I'm sure you'll meet someone new when classes begin. It's college, it cannot be avoided, people will eventually talk to you and become your friend.[/quote']These two quotes don't go together. If he doesn't go out and socialise the chances of meeting people is significantly decreased. At the end of the day first day there will be loads of people who don't know anyone else, loads of people will be talking to random people they don't know and making friends with them. You have to do the same.

[RedAlert]

I guess she wasn't really your best friend eh?

[Genecks]

A girl asked me out the other day, and I said ok. So now we're dating. But I don't know what we should do. I haven't picked her up to go on a date, and I'm somewhat low on cash. Plus she's 17 and I'm two years older. She just turned 17, so the age thing is going to be a problem for a year or so. I thought about taking her to a dollar movie, but I decided I'm going to take her out Friday to the library. I thought about showing her around the college. Yes, I'm a freakin' dork.

 

I don't know what to do. I'm not good with girls. I don't know what to do.

I'm trying to save up some cash, and I really don't want to spend lots of money. Someone always told me to never spend money on a girl. Hopefully, we can find something to do. I told her that I was a broke fool, and she didn't care too much about that. I've always been paranoid about girls because of past relationships I had. However, this girl seems different in a sense that I ask her a question and she gives an honest answer. I don't feel that she's holding back anything. I like to know that someone isn't holding back. I like those type of people.

 

However, I can't say I've never been with a girl. I was with one for the first time earlier this month, but that was kind of weird in itself. I went to with her but nothing happened. She was a teddy bear.

 

By the way, I don't go out and socialize and the girl asked me out. ;

 

That's kind of bad in a way. Because I don't know exactly how to socialize, I'm going to stay calm and reserved. Sometimes I say stupid stuff, and people don't take it very well. But she's open and considerate. That's why I considered dating her, because she's wise.

 

What do you think I should do?

I take her out on Friday.

[Cap'n Refsmmat]

Be yourself and don't panic. Trying to act like someone else is bad, and being a nervous wreck is too.

[Genecks]

Be yourself and don't panic. .

 

Don't know myself, but I'll work on that. I figure doing whatever comes to mind first is my anti-social personality disorder in work. Since I understand cultural norms and deviance, I keep things on the low until I can sense acceptance from the person I'm talking to. I'll just keep my hands in my pocket and a piece of gum in my mouth.

 

I'm typically not a normal wreck. I've had some bad experiences, and my brain went on restart a few years ago. Never been able to pull myself back together. Been thinking about checking into a mental insitution, but I don't want to be locked up there. I have studies, academics, and research to do. My family and living conditions aren't in the best shape either. So I somewhat put my own concerns on hold until I get other stuff done. However, my mental instability with people has always challenged my reasoning. I don't get angry at people, but I will say stupid things and look stupid. I don't think before talking. Sometimes my attitude and words can seem mentally sadistic. I've been working on improving and being kind once more. I use to be kind, but I hate the world and its people. I'm sure you know the syndrome. Nonetheless, I've always been kind to women unless they start a fight with me. I had one girl call me a dumbass. That really annoyed me, but I kept my cool and made her talk about her problems. Maybe I misinterpreted a type of mite as a chigger. So what? I make mistakes. (I don't even know that's why she called me an expletive.) She was angry and called me a dumbass a few days later without justification. She was kicked out by her roommate, so I suppose she was angry at the world. Maybe she was angry because I couldn't help her with her living predicament. 'twas no reason to be rude, though. I would bring her some food whenever I came to her house. I suppose it was her living conditions that made her angry. I suppose my understanding of people isn't what it use to be. People seem to get angry at one another. I don't usually get angry at people. I've become passive, and anger isn't really one of my thing. People have always been mean to me growing up, so I don't like the idea of being mean back. However, seems that everyone is angry these days, angry fools that talk too much. It's just one of the reasons I don't like hanging out with people: people talk too much with anger.

 

Although, I don't feel like being Dr. Phil anytime soon. I have my own problems to sort out. I believe I'll have to socialize once more to enhance mirror neuron strength and social adaptation.

 

Those are some reasons why I've always been iffy about going out with another girl. I don't socialize with people alone. I don't have 1-on-1 contact. Rarely, if ever.

 

Well, I don't social with girls. I don't really talk to girls at all. I usually talk to guys. Girls cloud the mind and my mentality changes. I don't like the change of mentality. There use to be a time when I was accepting of women as an equal. I don't mean to discriminate, but somehow my brain switched back into 1930's lifestyle and dating thought. When I was in highschool I was a drama student, and I would have to act out scenes with girls all the time. I became adjusted to this very quickly, and my mentality was just fine. The girl ratio was much larger than the male ratio. There were about 6 guys and 20 girls. The ratio was crazy. Being away from that type of things for a period of time has set me back into some different mentality, as though I regressed. I can't quite explain why it has changed, but maybe I'll figure it out one day.

 

I do socialize, as in, I go to clubs and sit by myself while watching アニメ (anime).

I never do anything outside of school with the clubs. I didn't even attend the last "lock-in" function.

Eh.

 

She's also a vegetarian, but she will eat fish. I'm mediocre when it comes to the culinary arts, but I'll figure something out. I haven't told my parents about her. I never tell my parents anything these days (I don't really have to, but it'd be nice). However, this age thing could be a serious problem. I'm not going to do anything really stupid that I'll regret, so I won't worry about it that much. I once knew a person that dated a younger girl. He had to stop dating her because her mother learned about the relationship. I don't want her parents to get angry or anything in the sorts. I'm up for quite the predicament.

[1veedo]

I'm glad you got a girl, it might be good for you. Try to be possitive and happy instead of all this "I'm a wreck stuff."

 

Go to something fun like a fiar, the fourth of July would be good. I like to go ice skating, women always have loads of fun. Just remember the song, "Girls just want to have fun!" You really don't have to spend lots of money either. Two tickets to something normally aren't that much. And she'll pay her way if you ask her to.

[Wetard89]

It Sad enough to know that anyone would try to take dating advice for a forum online, its even worse to know that ppl are taking dating advice from a scienceforum online, If you have come to this level, you already went in the wrong direction, You need to turn around and head 1.5 miles passed the old picket fence and then make the 3rd left after the light and keep following that road until you've come back from once thou came, If you see a red barn you've gone to far, you'll need to back track to the light and make the 1st right ...you get the picture.

[JustStuit]

It Sad enough to know that anyone would try to take dating advice for a forum online, its even worse to know that ppl are taking dating advice from a science[/i']forum online, If you have come to this level, you already went in the wrong direction, You need to turn around and head 1.5 miles passed the old picket fence and then make the 3rd left after the light and keep following that road until you've come back from once thou came, If you see a red barn you've gone to far, you'll need to back track to the light and make the 1st right ...you get the picture.

Even worse is people joining the forum just to talk about this

Edit :: Oops, forgot this is general discussion (thought it was your first post). But, people can still give good advice online or anywhere.

[Genecks]

Go to something fun like a fiar, the fourth of July would be good.

 

You're right. I forgot about that. But I live in Illinois; it's illegal to light fireworks here. There may be some things happening around town on the Fourth of July. I'll look into it.

[abskebabs]

Don't know myself' date=' but I'll work on that. I figure doing whatever comes to mind first is my anti-social personality disorder in work. Since I understand cultural norms and deviance, I keep things on the low until I can sense acceptance from the person I'm talking to. I'll just keep my hands in my pocket and a piece of gum in my mouth.

 

I'm typically not a normal wreck. I've had some bad experiences, and my brain went on restart a few years ago. Never been able to pull myself back together. Been thinking about checking into a mental insitution, but I don't want to be locked up there. I have studies, academics, and research to do. My family and living conditions aren't in the best shape either. So I somewhat put my own concerns on hold until I get other stuff done. However, my mental instability with people has always challenged my reasoning. I don't get angry at people, but I will say stupid things and look stupid. I don't think before talking. Sometimes my attitude and words can seem mentally sadistic. I've been working on improving and being kind once more. I use to be kind, but I hate the world and its people. I'm sure you know the syndrome. Nonetheless, I've always been kind to women unless they start a fight with me. I had one girl call me a dumbass. That really annoyed me, but I kept my cool and made her talk about her problems. Maybe I misinterpreted a type of mite as a chigger. So what? I make mistakes. (I don't even know that's why she called me an expletive.) She was angry and called me a dumbass a few days later without justification. She was kicked out by her roommate, so I suppose she was angry at the world. Maybe she was angry because I couldn't help her with her living predicament. 'twas no reason to be rude, though. I would bring her some food whenever I came to her house. I suppose it was her living conditions that made her angry. I suppose my understanding of people isn't what it use to be. People seem to get angry at one another. I don't usually get angry at people. I've become passive, and anger isn't really one of my thing. People have always been mean to me growing up, so I don't like the idea of being mean back. However, seems that everyone is angry these days, angry fools that talk too much. It's just one of the reasons I don't like hanging out with people: people talk too much with anger.

 

Although, I don't feel like being Dr. Phil anytime soon. I have my own problems to sort out. I believe I'll have to socialize once more to enhance mirror neuron strength and social adaptation.

 

Those are some reasons why I've always been iffy about going out with another girl. I don't socialize with people alone. I don't have 1-on-1 contact. Rarely, if ever.

 

Well, I don't social with girls. I don't really talk to girls at all. I usually talk to guys. Girls cloud the mind and my mentality changes. I don't like the change of mentality. There use to be a time when I was accepting of women as an equal. I don't mean to discriminate, but somehow my brain switched back into 1930's lifestyle and dating thought. When I was in highschool I was a drama student, and I would have to act out scenes with girls all the time. I became adjusted to this very quickly, and my mentality was just fine. The girl ratio was much larger than the male ratio. There were about 6 guys and 20 girls. The ratio was crazy. Being away from that type of things for a period of time has set me back into some different mentality, as though I regressed. I can't quite explain why it has changed, but maybe I'll figure it out one day.

 

I do socialize, as in, I go to clubs and sit by myself while watching アニメ (anime).

I never do anything outside of school with the clubs. I didn't even attend the last "lock-in" function.

Eh.

 

She's also a vegetarian, but she will eat fish. I'm mediocre when it comes to the culinary arts, but I'll figure something out. I haven't told my parents about her. I never tell my parents anything these days (I don't really have to, but it'd be nice). However, this age thing could be a serious problem. I'm not going to do anything really stupid that I'll regret, so I won't worry about it that much. I once knew a person that dated a younger girl. He had to stop dating her because her mother learned about the relationship. I don't want her parents to get angry or anything in the sorts. I'm up for quite the predicament.

I'm sorry if this compliment seems innapropriate or trivial, but you do appear like a very intriguing and interesting person to me, as well as one who I can identify with. You seem to be quite aware of social idiosyncracies and your situation. I wish you happiness if this girl is your new girlfriend, she seems quite an honest and patient person from your post.

 

Incredibly, this is my first post in this thread! I guess I caught the bus a little late...

[herme3]

I'm actually happy to see that this thread is no longer about my pathetic problems anymore.

 

Plus she's 17 and I'm two years older. She just turned 17, so the age thing is going to be a problem for a year or so.

 

I don't see anything wrong with that. I knew a 16 year old girl who dated a man who was around 22. Now, that was a little creepy. However, two years isn't very much of a difference. I'm sure most married couples are at least two years apart.

 

I thought about taking her to a dollar movie, but I decided I'm going to take her out Friday to the library. I thought about showing her around the college. Yes, I'm a freakin' dork.

 

Make sure that she would want to go to the library first. Some girls might like the idea of going to a library, but a lot of them might think it's boring. A library isn't a normal place for a first date, but it might be something she would enjoy. Just talk to her, and make sure that she's a dork too!

 

I'm typically not a normal wreck. I've had some bad experiences, and my brain went on restart a few years ago. Never been able to pull myself back together. Been thinking about checking into a mental insitution, but I don't want to be locked up there. I have studies, academics, and research to do. My family and living conditions aren't in the best shape either.

 

I don't think you need to worry about a mental institution unless you think you might be a threat to yourself or others. If you just feel a little unhappy, maybe you should just talk to a counselor. A counselor will probably have a friendly conversation that will help you, but you won't have to worry about being locked up.

 

Maybe when you start dating this girl, you will feel better. I think there have been times when I've gone a little insane. Read some of my poems from http://www.destinypoems.com and you will see what I mean. I never came close to suicide or anything, but I've spent hours wondering if there was anything good about life. All of these problems were just caused by loneliness. My life probably would have been so much better if I had a girlfriend. Maybe your life will improve when you start dating this girl.

[alice]

I don't see anything wrong with that. I knew a 16 year old girl who dated a man who was around 22. Now' date=' that was a little creepy. However, two years isn't very much of a difference. I'm sure most married couples are at least two years apart.

 

Get this! I recently saw an episode of the Tyra Banks Show. She was interviewing a 37 year old lady who married a 15 year old kid. The lady's currently 8 months pregnant, and the kid is the father.

 

The lady's charged with 20 years in prison for having sex with a 15 year old. Tsk tsk tsk. Turns out, the kid was her son's friend. How could she have not known that the kid was so young? She said the kid lied about his age, and that he was still 17. Didn't she bother to ask her son about the boy's age? And, 17? That's still too young for her. Anyway, that's that. Pretty shocking.

[herme3]

Get this! I recently saw an episode of the Tyra Banks Show. She was interviewing a 37 year old lady who married a 15 year old kid. The lady's currently 8 months pregnant, and the kid is the father.

 

Wow! That is just creepy...

 

The lady's charged with 20 years in prison for having sex with a 15 year old. Tsk tsk tsk. Turns out, the kid was her son's friend. How could she have not known that the kid was so young? She said the kid lied about his age, and that he was still 17. Didn't she bother to ask her son about the boy's age? And, 17? That's still too young for her. Anyway, that's that. Pretty shocking.

 

Now, that doesn't make any sense to me! The legal system never deals with these types of issues appropriately. That kid knew exactly what he was doing, and he needs to share the blame. He was a teenager!

 

If it had been a 37 year old man, and a 15 year old girl, that would have been completely different and the man should be thrown in prison for rape charges. I don't think I need to go into a biological explanation, but the 15 year old boy had a choice. He made his own choice, and the legal system should not treat him like a victim!

[Skye]

Why doesn't a 15 year old girl have choice? Is she some kind of automaton? I want the biological explanation. If 15 year old girls are automatons, can someone turn them down several levels?

[JustStuit]

The law doesn't say minor only applies to females, nor that rape only applies to females. Therefore, there shouldn't be a difference in the penalties for the two.

[alice]

I got this from the official website of the show.

 

Lisa Clark was a 37-year-old mother of three who fell in love with a 15-year-old boy and was pregnant with his child. She faced time in prison for molestation charges and confessed she was terrified about going to prison.

 

When the episode was aired, Lisa gave birth to a baby boy named Sky and was being held in jail awaiting a decision from the court regarding the 20year child molestation sentence she faced.

 

I think the kid was also locked up. I'm not sure though, I'll try and look for a recorded video of that episode in the internet.

[alice]

If it had been a 37 year old man, and a 15 year old girl, that would have been completely different and the man should be thrown in prison for rape charges.

 

There are actually marriages like that here in the Philippines, but of course, it happens only in the mountains. Parents give their beautiful young girls to some old coot and let them marry in exchange for money, work, a piece of land, etc. Most of the time, it's under 15. I think one of our former house helps was engaged to be married to a 60-year old, or was it her mother, who got married at 12 or 13 with a 60-year old and gave birth to her? Once their daughter is able to give birth, the parents usually give them/sell them to the DOMs. It's a dirty practice of the upland people.

[1veedo]

I know somebody that's 16 and already married to some older youth leader guy at her church. Her parents were all for it.

 

Even with her parent's consent it's still illegal for them to have sex. Technically the law isn't about people over 18 having sex with people under 18. The law wants to prevent all sex before the age of 18 (so if you're 16 and you're ****ing another 16yo technically the both of you could get into trouble). Nobody really cares what you do in your free time though, and because the law's pretty wack people rarely get brought up on charges over this, but if you're over 18 you can get into some pretty big trouble dating a minor cause you're considered "responsible" (because you're older) and thus a rapist.

[ecoli]

yeah that's interesting because my girlfriend is 8 months younger than me, and she turned 18 in april... but I don't think that such a little age difference is taken into consideration for something like that.

[herme3]

Why doesn't a 15 year old girl have choice?

 

Well, it depends on the circumstances. Sometimes, they might choose to have a 37 year old boyfriend. However, in most cases it would be rape. But, it would be impossible for an older woman to rape a young boy. Due to biological reasons, the boy would always have a choice.

 

The law wants to prevent all sex before the age of 18 (so if you're 16 and you're ****ing another 16yo technically the both of you could get into trouble).

 

The law doesn't need to worry about stuff like that. Teenagers are capable of making that choice, so they are capable of facing the consequences. If some girl gets pregnant, that's her own fault unless she was raped. Teenagers are not like infants that don't know anything. They are perfectly aware of what they are doing, so they should be free to make their own choice if they are willing to accept the consequences. I would never choose to have sex with anyone at such a young age, but I'm certainly not going to tell others what they should and shouldn't do.

[JustStuit]

But' date=' it would be impossible for an older woman to rape a young boy. Due to biological reasons, the boy would always have a choice.

[/quote']

I think you're generalizing and that's a dangerous thing.

[Cap'n Refsmmat]

Well, it depends on the circumstances. Sometimes, they might choose to have a 37 year old boyfriend. However, in most cases it would be rape. But, it would be impossible for an older woman to rape a young boy. Due to biological reasons, the boy would always have a choice.

Not necessarily.

[Mokele]

Due to biological reasons, the boy would always have a choice.

 

Wrong. I assume you mean that a guy would have to be erect, and thus if he prevented this, would be incapable of sex. This is totally untrue; the male erection is primarily a physiological response. Mindset can make it more difficult, but that can be overcome by someone who knows how.

 

This isn't exactly rare knowledge; ask any Dom or Domme and they'll confirm it.

 

Mokele

[alice]

Older women can be very manipulative.

[ecoli]

The law doesn't need to worry about stuff like that.

 

But tax-sponsered programs like social services, medicare, and other stuff like that cerainly does have to worry about it.