Dating

[herme3]

this is exactly what im talking about, and exactly what you havent gotten through this whole thread. ITS NOT A BIG DEAL. its just a casual date.

 

What if you've only liked one girl in your whole life? It just doesn't sound right to ask another girl out on a date. You will be lying to yourself and the other girl. Also, the girl that you do like won't believe you if you tell her she is the only girl you've ever wanted to date. She will remember that you dated that other girl.

[Callipygous]

You will be lying to yourself and the other girl.

 

only if you turn it into some big dramatic thing about trying to find your life partner instead of just having a fun evening out.

 

Also, the girl that you do like won't believe you if you tell her she is the only girl you've ever wanted to date. She will remember that you dated that other girl.

 

so.... dont tell her that. tell her that youve always had a crush on her. or better yet, go find some other girls so shes not the only one you have ever wanted to be with. thats called obsession, with your level of experience.

[bluesmudge]

Herme, thanks to this thread i have stepped up my research into finding a way oh hitting people over the internet!

 

Im sorry but you won't just find the perfect person, never works like that. You'll have no idea whether they are perfect for you or not unless you go on a date . . . most girls will think you're wierd if you decide they're perfect for you after 1 date, so it'll requore several dates.

Dates are great fun! will we won't we kiss, will she laugh at my jokes, will she want to meet again . . . . and thats another point you'll notice alot of the time the ladies decide if we get another chance with them after the first date . . . always remember the women are in control, us men run round like idiots after them

 

I think you're just scared to leave your computer - and im sure you'll claim that you're not and everyone here is wrong, and thats fine thats your opinion, and no one can claim you're wrong - BUT we can tell you you're opinion is crap and flawed. And those of us in relationships / which have been on dates / can make conversation with a woman / have met a real life woman are probably in the best position to make comment.

 

oh i've googled for an appropriate dateing site for you, and surprisingly jackin' world came up

 

:edit: - you obviously think too much of yourself if you think a girl would be upset if you didn't call her after a first date

 

:edit2: - Sorry this all sounds harsh, i thought about removing it but i figured this is a science forum, and there is such thing as social science, and basically this is how frustraiting this post has made me feel, and editing my reply to being polite and conservative would be betraying the science

 

*edit3* - oh and you're opinion that women will easily become upset if we decide we don't want another date is insulting to women they're not all desperate for our attention - women think and have their own opinions and are equally capeable of upsetting guys.

[insane_alien]

herme3 seems to be missing the point somewhat. how can you find what you are looking for if you don't actually look for it. seriously if you want to find the right girl for you then start looking for her.

 

In my experience dating friends can be a bit more awkward(sp?) than dating someone you've only known a few days. and has once led to me losing a good friend.

 

oh and those girls who supposedly asked you out on a date you probably hurt their feelings by rejecting them. i mean if they had a crush on you it takes quite a bit of courage to go up to someone and ask them out like that. i believe that they would be less hurt if you did go on a date with them and they then found out that you weren't right for them. there might be a bit of disappointment to both parties but hey life isn't all that nice.

[Cloud]

This thread HAS to die. Come on !!! - its been going on since January.

- 4 months!!!

 

herme3 - I sympathesise with what you're saying. I know you have certain principles and thats something to respect.

 

However - I agree with callipygous and various other members where you should just try dating (casually) and just generally meeting girls. This would help provide a clearer picture of what personalities you REALLY want.

 

But don't take my word for it. I too have never . . . (can't finish that sentence, a man's got to maintain his dignity).

 

So - you get the point. No-one's heart is going to break on a casual date. Its just for fun. Two people of the opposite sex exchanging views etc. Nothing has to get serious. You'll never meet the perfect fantasy person (soul-mate) straightaway. Life isn't a movie- more to the point - Life isn't that simple

 

Anyway - That's my perception. If I'm totally out of context - don't blame me. This thread is 4-months long and it looks like its repeating itself every 5 posts.

 

PS: It might be 5 or 10 years before you find who you are looking for.

(Now there's a thought)

[bluesmudge]

Yeah sorry for dragging this thread up again - it just annoyed me soooooooo much when i stubbled across it!

 

**edit** can some one tell me why my number of posts hasn't risen above 36 for quite some time now?

[insane_alien]

it only rises when you post in the science part of the forums. if you just post in general discussion it won't budge.

[bluesmudge]

then its not a true post counter is it? - what a load of rubbish!

I could understand if it said number of Science posts but it doesn't!

[insane_alien]

its meant to give newbies a rough measure of how knowledgable that member is about science. although it isn't exactly accurate. maybe a reputation system would be better but i'm not too sure about it.

[bluesmudge]

yeah possibly that would be better - i could bump my numbers by writing "my thoughts exactly " in every science thread, but i don't - i have made 36 science threads and i bet around 30 of them has been trying to be helpful - just becuase my area isn't the most active area i can't help it!

[insane_alien]

You could make posts in other areas. you don't have to be the biggest expert in the world to post in an area your not studying. for instance, i no longer study physics and don't have a university education in it but i can still answer questions like "how is heat transfered?" actually thats a bad example as i will have a whole class on process heat transfer next year but you get the picture?

 

btw, what is your field?

 

<edit> never mind i just looked at your profile. still i'm sure you would be able to comment on the mathematical side of some scientific posts. i mean maths is a requierment of computer science isn't it.

[bluesmudge]

Yeah im with you - don't have alot of time to be the whore of every science i like, so i guess i go for the ones im good at. . . . . im glad we could calm this thread down and make it less i can't get a date based!

[Callipygous]

herme3 seems to be missing the point somewhat. how can you find what you are looking for if you don't actually look for it.

 

no no no.... dont you see? the point is that herme is right and all of us with that dumb "Experience" crap dont know what were talking about... were just jackasses who dont respect women enough to NOT give them a chance unless they are the goddess of our dreams.

 

can anyone guess whether im irked yet? whether it dies or not i think im gonna try to drop out of this thread. i think it might just be hopeless.

[Cap'n Refsmmat]

yeah possibly that would be better - i could bump my numbers by writing "my thoughts exactly " in every science thread, but i don't - i have made 36 science threads and i bet around 30 of them has been trying to be helpful - just becuase my area isn't the most active area i can't help it!

You could, but then we'd get mad and make your postcount -47.

 

Happened to me once (though it was 32 they changed it to).

[bluesmudge]

 

Happened to me once (though it was 32 they changed it to).

 

haha 32 what an imbarassing number . . . . im gald mine isn't THAT low lol

 

And why have we not had herme3's come back on thread? I need another laugh

[herme3]

Actually, I did ask someone out on a date a few months ago. She said "no" so I don't think I'll ask anyone else again. She seemed like the perfect person, so I guess it's just me. Maybe some people are just meant to be alone.

[5614]

Or maybe you just asked the wrong person.

 

As some clever guy said in some movie when he got turned down "statistically speaking with each person that turns me down the probability that the next person will be The one increases"... or something like that.

[bluesmudge]

Better to have loved and lost etc etc

[Severian]

"statistically speaking with each person that turns me down the probability that the next person will be The one increases".

 

Unfortunately that is not true.

[padren]

Unfortunately that is not true.

 

In an infinite randomized pool of people I would agree.

 

However, if it could be established that there is a specific diverse pool of individuals, in which some have preferences that favor rejection while others have preferences that favor interest, then statistically each person that rejects you is more likely to be the former and not the latter, and by taking them out of the pool the remaining pool is slightly skewed a little more in your favor.

 

 

But in a generalized statistical sense I know what you mean: getting 4 heads in a row in a coin toss is 1:16 (2^4), but getting a heads after 3 heads in a row, is still 1:2 no matter how you cut it.

[bluesmudge]

or you could just go to a wedding, ALOT of people meet their life partners at a wedding

[5614]

Unfortunately that is not true.

Why? Assuming one girl in the world is The one then you start off by having to chose 1 girl from all of the world, if that doesn't work then you have to chose a girl from all of the world minus 1. Each time it doesn't work then you can minus one, eventually you will be left with 1.

 

You might argue that you messed up your chance and so you missed The one. Why do you say it's wrong? Assuming you do not screw up with The one then each time it doesn't work there are less people to chose from, so instead of being 1 in 100 girls it is now 1 in 99, so statistically you are more likely to chose correctly from 99 than you are from 100.

[Severian]

Why? Assuming one girl in the world is The one then you start off by having to chose 1 girl from all of the world' date=' if that doesn't work then you have to chose a girl from all of the world minus 1. Each time it doesn't work then you can minus one, eventually you will be left with 1.

[/quote']

 

The pool is effectively infinite because you may meet the person who would be perfect for you at the wrong time. Therefore you can't just say there are x girls out there who might go out with me, and after this rejection there are now x-1 so the probability that I pick the right one is higher. Really there are an infinite number of possibilities out there and there is the potential to fail an infinite number of times (if you could live long enough).

[deltanova]

gee severian, that makes me feel a whole lot better. haha.

[husmusen]

Really there are an infinite number of possibilities out there and there is the potential to fail an infinite number of times (if you could live long enough).

 

Cup's half empty this morning, I take it?

Cheer up mate.

 

Husmusen.