YT2095 Posted October 5, 2003 Posted October 5, 2003 well hey why not? I mean Science isn`t ALL about hard work, if they`re kept clean and non offensive to race,color,creed and Science based jokes, I think it may be a bit of harmless fun that "Ooops" thread about the fallen satellite could have gone in there for instance. maybe a poll with 3 options; Yes, No, Not bothered. Nerds can have phun 2 !!
YT2095 Posted October 5, 2003 Author Posted October 5, 2003 here, lemme kick it off : Q:what does an Organic Chemist drive to work? A: a Mecedes Benzene
JaKiri Posted October 5, 2003 Posted October 5, 2003 A biologist walked into a bar, and asked for a pint of adenosine triphosphate. Sure, says the barman. That'll be 80p.
neo_maya Posted October 5, 2003 Posted October 5, 2003 YT2095 said in post #2 :here, lemme kick it off : Q:what does an Organic Chemist drive to work? A: a Mecedes Benzene Yeah, whhhhy not. I am on ur side. But judging from ur joke (if u call it one), I think only hippys will laugh at it. Sorry, just kid'n. (AHEM AHEM) - hahahahahahahahaha. :haha:
YT2095 Posted October 5, 2003 Author Posted October 5, 2003 LOL! ATP`s good but ya didn`t vote! 2 Ions walking down the road, one says to the other in a sad voice "I think I`ve lost an Electron". the other turns round and says "Are you Positive?"
neo_maya Posted October 5, 2003 Posted October 5, 2003 It is not conclusive yet, but the NASA believes the Mars Pathfinder has found proof of life on Mars. The cd player was stolen.
YT2095 Posted October 5, 2003 Author Posted October 5, 2003 THAT`S The Spirit! keep it up Lads`n`lasses there`s been a New element discovered and added to the periodic table! it`s call `Bo0`... Scientists are calling it the "Element of Surprise"!
neo_maya Posted October 15, 2003 Posted October 15, 2003 (Collected From A Website) Help In The Computer Lab My friend was on duty in the main computer lab on a quiet afternoon he noticed a young woman sitting in front of one of the workstations with her arms crossed across her chest, staring at the screen. After about 15 minutes he noticed that she was still in the same position, only now she was impatiently tapping her foot. Finally, he approached her and asked if she needed help. She replied, "It's about time! I pressed the F1 button over twenty minutes ago!"
neo_maya Posted October 15, 2003 Posted October 15, 2003 (Collected From A Website) ___________________________________________________ Q: What's another name for the "Intel Inside" sticker they put on Pentiums? A: The warning label ___________________________________________________ Q: Why didn't Intel call the Pentium the 586? A: Because they added 486 and 100 on the first Pentium and got 585.999983605. ___________________________________________________ This customer comes into the computer store. "I'm looking for a mystery Adventure Game with lots of graphics. You know, something really challenging." "Well," replied the clerk, "Have you tried Windows 98?" ___________________________________________________
neo_maya Posted October 15, 2003 Posted October 15, 2003 (Collected From A Website) ________________________ A biologist, a physicist and a mathematician were sitting in a street cafe watching the crowd. Across the street they saw a man and a woman entering a building. Ten minutes they reappeared together with a third person. - They have multiplied, said the biologist. - Oh no, an error in measurement, the physicist sighed. - If exactly one person enters the building now, it will be empty again, the mathematician concluded.
Dudde Posted October 15, 2003 Posted October 15, 2003 YT2095 said in post #7 :THAT`S The Spirit! keep it up Lads`n`lasses there`s been a New element discovered and added to the periodic table! it`s call `Bo0`... Scientists are calling it the "Element of Surprise"! by some freak coincidence, my cursor was over the "l" in "lasses" when I scrolled down. that made a very amusing joke for a minute;)
VendingMenace Posted October 15, 2003 Posted October 15, 2003 SWEET! cool, i know a few nerdy jokes... Q: What do you get when you cross a mosquito and a mountain climber? A: Nothing, you can't cross a vector and a scalar.
greg1917 Posted October 15, 2003 Posted October 15, 2003 Three engineers are driving in a car. One a chemist, the other a structural engineer, and the third a software engineer. the car breaks down. It'll be an impurity in the fuel, clogging the engine, the chemist says. No, itll be a problem with the crank shaft and the associated torque, says the structural engineer. the software engineer. pauses for a moment, before saying: just hold the break down then press the gearstick and the horn. Failing that, why dont we all get out the car, then get back in and try turning it on again?
VendingMenace Posted October 16, 2003 Posted October 16, 2003 A physisist, an engineer, and a math professor are all at the same conference. They go to bed in their repsective rooms, and through a freak occurance all three of their rooms catch on fire. THe engineer wakes up and sees the fire, leaps out of bed and frantically looks about the room. Seeing the fire estinguisher all the wall behind him, he rips it off the wall, and proceeds to empty the whole thing out, just to put out a waste basket fire. The phsysist wakes up, sees the fire, and leaps out of bed. Frantically looking around, he spots the fire estinquisher on the wall behind him. He picks up the fire estiquisher, then proceeds to sit down and calculate exactly how much it will take to just put out the fire, then proceeds to put out the fire. The mathamatician wakes up and sees the fire. He then junps out of bed and frantically looks around the room. He sees the fire extenguisher all the wall behind him and says, "Oh good! Their is a solution!" He then goes back to bed.
Glider Posted October 16, 2003 Posted October 16, 2003 From the Carol Song Book for the Psychiatrically Impaired SCHIZOPHRENIA: Do you Hear What I Hear? MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER: We Three Queens Disoriented Are DEMENTIA: I Think I'll Be Home for Christmas NARCISSISTIC: Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me MANIC: Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Car and Busses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and........ PARANOID: Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me. PERSONALITY DISORDER: You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll tell you why. DEPRESSION: Silent Night, Holy Night, All is Flat, All is Lonely, All is Dark, All is Gloomy. OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, ................... PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE PERSONALITY On the First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me (and then took it all away again). BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire.
alt_f13 Posted October 16, 2003 Posted October 16, 2003 An excerpt from Bill Gates' biography: "My wife came up with the name on our honeymoon."
stephy Posted October 29, 2003 Posted October 29, 2003 Why not a general jokes forum instead of just a science jokes forum? Other jokes are funny too...
Guest blottobox Posted October 29, 2003 Posted October 29, 2003 a man walks into a psychiatrist's office with cling-film on for pants. the psychiatrist strokes his beard and states, "clearly i can see your nuts."
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