Things people would never say....

[jdurg]

"I'd LOVE to go and visit the Middle East with my new America Is Great tee-shirt!"

[ecoli]

"Let's celebrate 100 years of Llamarkian evolution!"

 

"Nah, the Darwin exhibit at the Museum of Natural History sounds boring... let's go dumpster diving instead."

 

"Woodstock 2000 was so much better then the original"

[Hades]

George Carlin is not the best comedian ever and its only a matter of time before we flock by the masses to a scientology center for purification. they can cure everything from diabetes to premature ejaculation with olive oil and grease from bacon.

[Phi for All]

"It takes just as much talent and effort to lip-sync to a song as it does to actually sing it."

 

"Having big pouty sexy-looking Botox lips is infinitely more important than having the use of my lip muscles for things like facial expression talking and kissing."

 

"I prefer packet ketchup."

 

"Getting a huge tax refund is just smart fiscal management."

 

"Nose piercing is a statement of uniqueness and rebellion. It says, 'I'm different, not like everyone else'."

 

"I'm a purist. Give me a scoop of vanilla, a few M&Ms and some transmission fluid."

[Royston]

Leave George Bush alone, he's just misunderstood, that's all.

 

Oh if only my eyes we're on the soles of my feet.

 

There's nothing better than to read inconcise, incoherent, and illogical crackpot theories on SFN, I love wasting my time trawling through pages of drivel.

 

Look he's not mad, he really is the Son of God.

 

I love internet explorer...it's so secure !

[insane_alien]

Fake boobs, a botoxed face and liposuction don't make women look like they were assembled by a severly brain damaged rodent.

 

I wish i only had a mono speaker instead of 5.1 dolby surround sound.

 

Why the hell does creationism not get more respect from scientists. there is tonnes of evidence to back it up including that superbly accurate book written 2000 years ago called the Bible.

[Phi for All]

"I'm a leper and proud of it!"

 

"I kind of like sand in my underwear."

 

"The more blades they put in my razor the better I feel about it."

 

"Who took my foot?"

 

"I think paying more for my car than my parents paid for their house makes perfect sense."

 

"I always wanted to hunt for buried treasure. That's why I don't mind cleaning the catbox."

 

"Nothing says 'precision' like a chainsaw."

[YT2095]

Bin laden trying on a new suit: "does my bomb look big in this?"

[LunarTick]

Anyone fancy a game of Slaps?? Except with bums?

[Phi for All]

"Sarah! Put your brother's nose back this instant!"

 

"Quick, before the movie starts, somebody tell me how it ends."

 

"I know I marked it FRAGILE, but just kick the box off the back of the truck!"

 

"I'll have a lukewarm latté, please."

 

"This is a pretty interesting employee manual."

 

"I have a coupon for that butterscotch beef toothpaste."

 

"I save my scabs."

 

"I cook everything at 200°F for three or four hours."

 

"Do you like it? It's a hair gel AND a pudding!"

[Phi for All]

"Whoa, did you see that, officer?! I must have been going three times the posted speed limit!"

 

"I respect your honor and integrity, Senator."

 

"You're the one who signs my paycheck so I guess that gives you the right to treat me any way you want."

 

"I don't think ecoli's long dark wavy hair and soulful brown eyes make him look effeminate."

 

"Don't throw ALL the potato salad away, just the little bit where the cockroach was climbing out!"

 

"You're the second most important person in this room to me."

[SorceressPol]

"Passions is the greatest show in the world."

"Chocolate is bad for me."

"Splenda tastes absolutely fabulous.".

[Royston]

I wish I stubbed my toe more often.

 

I wish that ozone layer would hurry up and disappear...my tan's starting to fade.

 

They really need to do another Jurassic Park film.

 

Science is a fallacy, anyone knows you can't trust observations.

 

I always put my faith in journalism.

 

Look, it is important a celebrity has changed their hair colour.

[starbug1]

"Sometimes I find myself chatting with Jehovah's Witnesses for hours when they come to the door. I even look forward to it!"

 

"Who reads?"

[ecoli]

"I don't think ecoli's long dark wavy hair and soulful brown eyes make him look effeminate."

I know it was mean and directed at me... but, god help me, I can't stop laughing.

[Phi for All]

I know it was mean and directed at me... but, god help me, I can't stop laughing.

"I ALWAYS appreciate it when people exploit things I've posted in other threads for their own cruel, nefarious purposes. It makes me feel special."

 

 

 

"I LOVE salmon! Not to eat, just to play with."

 

"I can't picture that movie star naked."

 

"Stepping in gum is OK, but I wish I could figure out how to get it in my hair more often."

 

"You're too drunk to walk home. Why don't you drive?"

 

"Spit on me again."

 

"I'm almost done showering. Toss me that blow dryer."

[jdurg]

"Man, I hate it when my pants don't fit right. I better start eating more and working out less to build up a nice fat gut."

[Phi for All]

"More fleas?"

 

"Garbage, anyone?"

 

"Drop it on my big toe."

 

"Five dollars?!? Meh, I'll give you ten."

 

"My hat is made of meat."

 

"No tongues, Mom."

 

"Keep your severance pay!"

 

"Benzene makes me belch."

[AzurePhoenix]

"Peewee Hermin was such a terrific rolemodel"

 

"Those Twin Towers were blocking the view anyway."

 

"I'm sorry, I'm so incredibly sorry" From Me even when I am

 

"I'd prefer if you just left your toenail clippings wherever they happened to land."

[Phi for All]

"Don't wipe your feet, it's new carpet!"

 

"It's actually less embarassing in front of a large crowd."

 

"Baseball is more fun when no one hits the ball."

 

"Did you say 'boarding pass' or 'BOMB'?

 

"Televangelists aren't in it for the money."

 

"I'll have the tofu fried in bacon grease."

 

"Cheating? That's rather clever of you."

 

"Stop working so hard and I'll continue your funding."

 

"Danger is my maiden name."

[Royston]

Estonian folk music rocks !

 

Can't believe I soiled my pants the other day...at least it was on the train to work.

 

So does SFN stand for 'Stupid Fundamentalist's Network'.

 

I was going to take that pottery course, but quantum mechanics is soooo much easier.